An excellent Love story-Don miss it
Game of Hearts - part I
I have made up my mind! I am gonna tell him today. The mental torture
was more than I could take. I had spent yet another sleepless night the
previous day before settling for this decision. I knew proposing to him
than waiting for him to propose makes me look weak. But Love is not a
game where you plan your moves to score maximum points, rather, it's an
out of the world experience of divine proportion. Couldn't believe I had
changed so much. I used to be a staunch crusader against love. I still
remember the lecture I gave to my college mate when she sought my advice
regarding some guy who had given her a love letter. Heard she had
rejected him!! I was so happy then.
Actually I never liked men so much, except for my dad. He was the one
saving grace among the bunch of insensitive, barbaric hooligans called
men, I had thought.
I had questioned God's creation and had believed his Man/Woman split up
as unbalanced and unjustified act. I still believe that to an extent. I
was never attracted towards men except for a brief period when I was a
little crazy abt Maddy*. But those were the times when I hadn't seen
Bharath.
Bharath's entry in to my life was as insignificant as his appearance.
One fine day a well-dressed gentleman came to my cubicle and asked for
directions to my PM's cubicle. I watched him go to the place as I
pointed my finger towards the direction. There was something in him,
which was calmly refreshing. I later found out he had just been
transferred from a nearby DC and has been allocated to my project. I
quickly checked his employee number to find out that he was a good
one-year more experienced than me. At that point of time I could only
wonder, will this affect my onsite chances???!!! How silly! J .I control
my smile before anybody could see it. Nowadays its getting tougher to
control my emotions.
Being a new comer he needed a lot of help before he could settle into my
project. He had to approach me for so many doubts and I had to give him
KT. It was getting easier for me to notice that there was something
special about him. He reminded me of someone I couldn't remember!!! J I
later found out he was reminding me of my sub conscious fantasy of the
perfect man. He enthralled me with his perfect manners while others were
struggling to make eye contact. He spoke little and smiled even
little.But whenever he smiled it was straight from his heart and
whenever he spoke he was crisp and clear . I had developed a fascination
over the skill with which he took the onsite calls. I admired the
composure with which he was able to carry on his job while things around
him were falling apart. I liked the way he made sure that the work was
planned out so that the girls in the team can go home early. It was a
bit unfair but I was not complaining!!! J
All the while I was dying to get his attention. But he seemed to be
perfectly oblivious to my confusion. Our communication was barely
informal and he used to isolate himself from the crowd even during
project parties.
I couldn't help imagining my life with him. All the duet songs in the
latest flicks seemed to have been composed for us. Every thing around me
reminded me of him in some way or the other. I wanted troubles in my
life so that I can cry with my face buried in his chest with his
assuring hands around me. I fantasized him remarking funnily, when I
would go on a shopping spree with his mom. I wanted to feel his
comforting presence around me on those three days of torture. I wanted
to feel him holding me in his arms, while I stand gazing at the endless
sea. I wanted quarrels about who drops the kid to the school. I wanted
everything.
I was practicing my words all the way to the office. Iam not too good in
beating around the bush. Iam sure he would have guessed my feelings by
now. It is so hard to hide from him. I was waiting impatiently for him
arrive at the office!!!
There he is!!! Briskly walking towards me on his way to his cubicle,
with the "not so obvious" smile which drives me crazy. I faked a tea
break to walk past him.
"Hi Bharath!!"
"Hi Tejaswini,how was the weekend??"
"As usual" . Suddenly my heart started beating double its speed!!
"mmm, hey listen, I wanted to talk to you about something"
"Yeah , infact I wanted to talk to you about it myself"
"Uh , you mean!!??" I felt as if Iam gonna faint.
"The bug in the 7th screen - na?? I was working on it late till 11 on
friday".
He was grinning widely and I wanted to splash a bucket of water on his
face.grrrrrrr
"No Bharath,this is something else"
He invented a fake surprise and enquired " Is it?? what about??"
You know what exactly iam talking about you moron!!!
"Will tell you later, how about the coffee time in the evening??"
The _expression on his face changed a bit "Ok,no probs" The smile
returned but it was not complete.
"Ok catch you later".I smiled and walked towards the pantry.I knew there
was no going back now. I have taken the plunge. I tried not to look at
him. That was the hardest time ever.
To be continued................
* Maddy - nick name for popular Tamil film star Madhavan.
Game of Hearts - part II
I could see it coming . I was not blind , It was so obvious !!!
I thought my life as good as over . I was just living through the
motions of my life until I saw Tejaswini . She brought colours again
into my pathetic existence . I started opening up becoz of her . I
started enjoying music , I started appreciating the birds chirping , I
started waiting for the sunsets!!
All over again .
There is no denying that Tejaswini was a perfect match for me . Her walk
was orderly and confident. She listened to my views patiently and spoke
with perfect clarity and understanding. A trait displayed by her better
than any other girl I saw. I admired her smart working pattern and the
way she carried on with her job without flirting too much with the
guys!! I knew my parents would just love to have her as their daughter
in law. She had all the intelligence and responsibility to fit perfectly
into my family.
I didn't feel anything special when I first saw her. Sure she looked
cute but I get to see hundreds of cute girls everyday, many better
looking than her!! But slowly she started entering into my heart. I can
never forget her help during the initial days into this project. Any
other guy would have fallen head over heals to get her love.
But......
I wanted to snap out of it!!!
"This is just an illusion", I tried to steer my mind through auto
suggestion. I could not run away from the truth. I was in love with her.
I had to face it!!! In any other circumstance I should be the luckiest
guy in the world. But I hated God for the situation he has put me in.
Today when I came to the office I saw her coming towards me!! My heart
skipped a beat. She looked great.
"Hi Bharath!!", She said
"Hi Tejaswini,how was the weekend??", I reverted.
Actually I wanted to ask when are you gonna propose,so that we cant get
this over with!!! I could feel the pain in my heart.
"As usual" .i could feel she wanted to say something very important
"mmm, hey listen, I wanted to talk to you about something",She started!!
Uh Oh,My God!!! not now . Please don't make me do this.
"Yeah , infact I wanted to talk to you about it myself",I tried to
postpone the inevitable
"Uh , you mean!!??" I secretly admired the confusion in her face.
"The bug in the 7th screen - na?? I was working on it late till 11 on
friday". I thought she would slap me for this!!!
"No Bharath,this is something else".I could feel the irritation in her.
I invented a fake surprise and enquired " Is it?? what about??".I knew
this was it!!
"Will tell you later, how about the coffee time in the evening??"
I didn't like the way it was going "Ok,no probs" I smiled
"Ok catch you later". She smiled back and walked past me . I expected
her to turn back at me but she didn't!!!I admired her self assurance!!
Poor girl!!
I quickly lost myself in work. But at the back of my mind I kept
thinking what else I could do. The more I thought ,the more weaker I
got.
To be continued................
Game of Hearts - part III
I couldn't concentrate on work! My heart wandered all over before it
came back to the same thought again and again!!! What if he rejects
me!!!!???
I got to be crazy!! why would someone reject me?? I have got decent
looks , decent manners , education , I have got a successful career!!
But inspite of all this I felt "Something is not right" . Women's
intuition????
Personally I thought, all this women's intuition thing was b*******. I
mean ,ppl get these gut feelings every now and then. Both men and women.
I have seen my dad taking so many decisions based on what he feels!!
Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. It's the same both for men
and women and there is no diff just becoz its from a woman.
I was not ready to acknowledge this publicly but this is what I felt.
Before I could realise, the time was 5 in the evening!!! I knew Bharath
always kept his appointments but I was beginning to get restless. Should
I call him ??? would that look so cheap??? Ok iam not gonna make any
move!!! Let him contact me if he wants , I will just let this go if he
does not respond!!
I impatiently watched the bottom left corner of my screen! At 5.04 PM my
MSN flashed!!!
Bharath says:
Hi Tejaswini!!!
Why cant he call me with a shorter name!! grrrr
Tejaswini says:
Hi Bharath!!
Bharath says:
Sorry , was a little caught up!!! You wanted to say something!!
Tejaswini says:
Hmmm, yeah.hey you got time!!??
Bharath says:
Not much really !! J
I am not gonna let you go this time!!!
Tejaswini says:
Lets go to Golconda *!!!
Bharath says:
K lets go
I watched him rise from his seat and do something with the keyboard.
Then he walked towards me.
I smiled at him and said,"Lets go to coffee day".
We didn't talk as we walked our way past the lawns to the food court.All
I could think was ,what will I do if he rejects me!!!
We ordered our drinks and sat on a comfortable table.Not many people
were around.
He smiled at me and said," So!!?? " .
Suddenly my mouth went dry. I forgot ABCDs!!!I wish the world to come to
an end now and the earth to open up and gobble me up,so that I don't
have to face him!!
"Bharath, I wanted to tell this to you for a long time".
"No matter what , please don't be angry ,we will stay as friends"
He raised his eyebrows as he took a sip.
"Just tell me Yes or No.Iam Ok with any answer". He placed the glass on
the table and turned away a little. Then he turned back at me!!!
I can feel a huge outburst of emotions . I wanted to lean on his
shoulders and cry.
"Bharath , can you share your life with me!!! "
That's it . The cat is out of the bag . I felt so relieved now!!!!!
He looked so disturbed!!! He covered his face with both his hands. May
be he was thinking ,or may be he is covering his tears!!! Either way I
could foresee what he is gonna tell!!! I didnt like it!!!
"Tejaswini, I really dunno how to tell this"
Uh oh!!!! I felt my heart being ripped off my chest and mercilessly
squeezed with powerful hands!!!!!!!!
Just tell me No!!!! why do you prolong it!!!! Kill me now,please don't
torture me!!!
" You are the most amazing woman I have seen after my mom"
Cut the crap you fool.Just say no and finish it off. Don't cut me to
pieces alive!!!!
"Bharath , just tell me yes or no!!!! , Iam OK with any answer"
"In that case Tejaswini , Iam sorry , I cant marry you!!!!"
I saw my world falling all around me. I wished the roof to fall on me
and bury me alive.
I wanted a bulldozer to go right on top me and crush me alive.I wanted
my body to catch fire and turn me into ashes!!! Sure it will be painful
but not as painful as this!!!!!!!
"No probs Bharath!! Glad you could be honest. Alright I gotta go now,got
some work".I forced a smile onto my face!!There was a tear in his
eye,but he couldn't have seen it.
I left without looking back at him trying desperately hard not to cry. I
hadn't put the glass back in "soiled glasses" tray . That idiot can
atleast do that for me!!!
I reached home with the help of town bus.I just fell into my bed and
cried like crazy . I would have cried to the limits of human capability
before I fell asleep.
I woke to the ring tone of my mobile!!! I looked into my watch.The time
was 9.37 pm .Who is calling at this time???
I could see the name in the mobile screen!! Bharath!!!!????
"Hi Bharath" My voice broke off !!!
"Hi Tejaswini,can you please come to the nearby park???"
"NOW????"
"Yeah please ,I need to talk"
I had to think .At this time?? What the......
"Ok Bharath , I will be there in 10 mins"
"Thanks Tejaswini" . The line went dead.
I couldn't think!!!Whats going on here???
* Name of a food court in Bangalore DC
To be continued................
Game of hearts - part IV
I love parks. Personally I feel parks are the best things about
Bangalore second only to its climate. I frequented the one near our home
whenever I felt down. Which means I have been coming here quite
regularly for the past few days.
I chose a bench along the pathway. There were a few ppl jogging, walking
with their dogs. I was surprised to see a couple talking at this hour
while their kid was playing nearby. I like kids!!! I smiled faintly to
myself.
I could see her entering the park. She looked very simple and elegant!!
I watched her find her way to my bench and sit beside me!!
"You have been crying??" , she looked like she had been through hell. I
was very very sorry for putting her through this.
"Of course not ,I was repeatedly dipping eyes in mildly salty water all
evening, I like the pain"
I smiled, she didn't. She must be angry, so she should be, for all I had
done this evening!!
"You are probably angry on me for the way I behaved this evening!!, I
owe you an explanation".
She shook her head slightly and looked away. I took a deep breath.
"It was painful,isn't it??? Imagine going through it for 1.5 years "
She turned her face at me with surprise .
"It happened 1.5 years back. I was fairly new to the company. That's
when I met her. She seemed to be very interested in me. She used to call
me and message me every now and then. I was so new to the attention I
was getting. I confused it to be love. I falsely assumed she was in love
with me."
"One fine day I proposed to her. She laughed at my face. She said how
can a great looking girl like her fall in love with a ugly guy like me.
She said I should be crazy to assume things and she was just being
friendly!!
I was heart broken. My love was one sided but it was genuine, mind you.
I decided not to fall in love again. I could never take the pain again.
Then I got transferred"
"But you changed everything, I held myself away from you coz I didn't
want to go through the same pain again. You are smart, got good looks.
You will get any man you wish for. I knew you wont feel ok about a guy
who is a total loser like me who got rejected. I was about to tell you
this but you left in a hurry!! I sat there for a long time after you
left thinking whether I should say all this. I was about to tell you
tomorrow but I couldn't wait"
She was looking at my face very carefully all the while. I realized it
just now.
"And....".She said
I didn't know what else to say. Sure there were few other problems but
they don't stand a chance against true love.
"And..... not much, you can go back and sleep tight", I tried to put a
faint smile on my face!!!
She was shaking her head fairly violently!
"You said No coz you got rejected before???? That's it???
Jesus Christ!!! I was thinking you are having AIDS or something!!!"
I was taken aback!!! I looked around to note whether anybody was looking
at us. I never thought in this angle. This was the first time I saw her
talk so "at your face" manner.
"I mean.... You thought I would reject you coz you got rejected once???
How stupid a guy can be!! My God!!! "
"You have any idea how much I love you?? I can't imagine my life without
you!! And you put me through all this coz you assumed I would stop
loving you because of your silly mistake???"
She couldn't talk any longer, she started crying and fell on my chest. I
put my hands around her. I wanted to comfort her, protect her from my
own stupidity. I wanted her to stop crying. I vowed not to make her cry
again!! Ever!!!
For a second I wanted to look around to check whether someone is
watching. The next second I figured, what the heck!!! J
I could feel her tears on to my chest. The feeling was out of the world
and a thousand times greater than what they call heavenly!!!!! I always
knew I had a talent for understatements!!!
May be this is how love feels like!!!
I just realized I missed something. "Teju", I whispered into her ears.
She looked into my face,She was still crying.
"I forgot to tell you something...I love you".
The rest as they say, is history!!!
Now we are happily married with a sweet girl child. No I didn't name her
with the name of my lost love!! J
Even now I can't help finding tears in my eyes whenever I go through
this story. Guess what, tears of ecstasy are sweet!!!! J
The End The beginning
Not trying is more painful than failing miserably....
