Marriage at an early age for girls in rural areas

[bingleguy]

adhu dhaane nyaabagam illa

[Hulkster]

Kilichinchi krishna giri

[bingleguy]

hehhehe

[goodsense]

BG wrote: "I assume u had been to some villages, probably ur grand parent's place ! "

http://ormila.canadianwebs.com/Ormila-Bhoopaul2.htm

I think you missed by signature page which shows that this very woman is a village girl. To what extent? Well to start with my navel string was burried in this village and I lived there for 10 consecutive years. During one summer holiday, I was sent by my mother to meet my aunt who was working in the city. After the one month holiday, my aunt asked me if I want to stay and tranfer school and I said yes. We were living with another aunt and two uncles (their brothers). No doubt after that one month I realized it was a better life in the city where I was going to live and study for two years.

My younger uncle, I could never forget as long as I live. He spent all his freetime with me behind the books to ensure I would make it at entrance exam to secondary school. He would spend his money on work books and give me separate assignments in addition to that I had from school. Even before this time when he was in the vilage with us, when my place in class moved from first to third, he would say why not first or second.

After making it to highschool, unfortunately, they were all moving abroad. sadly, I was sent back to the village, did not evenr each puberty yet. It was horrible, but not for long. I followed some of them to Canada. So this is how I escaped the full village life.

Looking back at it all, especially my visit there a few months ago. I pity the children and the women. The women are so aged and burdended with many children and you can stil see a certain degree of innocence of those women limited to harsh living...Very few seems well off, but none went pass high school and those who did went to highschool, were few.

I think it depends on the family. Although most parents and gransparents came from farming background, a few were able to afford education for their children and they believed in it. My aunts were good example, one made it with seven distinction first time at CGE and had scholarship to the university of Guyna and the other went into teaching after highschool and then to England where she did nursing and this was late 60s early 70s. They had no elder brother or relatives either for any kind of protection and they have also been quite successful in later life with even higher education than mentioned - they continued abroad. So I was always in a studious environment with my ants and uncles, but i think if I had no time out of that village in those tow years, I would have been like most people there in that village - especially be female and the eldest of many boys.

It hard to break away from such a society. One lady had even come to see my mother about taking me out of school, saying girls should not go to school, but my mother ignored her, but I still had all kinds of pressures at home.

And BG, you are damn right, village girls are closely watched. The minute you miss, there is a message at home for your parents watiting for when you arrive

The pressures in the home is one thing, other kinds of abuse of village girls is another and there is no escape root for them. Worse yet, if they are not virgin on their wedding night, they will be beaten and sent bck to their parents to live in shame forthe rest of their lives. Many of these kinds became maids and domestic servants in homes of people to earn a little living for themselves while subjected to other kinds of abuse . If they stay with the husband, they will be beaten for years and if they leave, their parents would sent them back to the abusive husbands. They are sent back because the parents can't bear the shame and such women have no chance of re-marrying. She becomes a social outcast. Having had the chance to see both sides of the coin, my heart goes out to those women and I hope to help them in some way.

And BG, you are so right about the village girl when she is out of the viilage.

The village can also be a place of peace and nice rest where you can think. When I was there a few months back, I found it so quiet. Its amazing. If it was safe country and you have a nice home there, why not go for a few months and get away from here. I felt mellowed out walking through it which I never experienced before, perhaps it's different when you go for a short time as oppose to living there.

[bingleguy]

Goodsense ...

i seriously didnt know ur bground !

Abuse on gurlz is not acceptable..... i appreciate ur concern for these ppl ! as ppl in city wat could be our part in fighting this crime !

[goodsense]

Seriously, I think those girls need some help. They can't fight a family and their village community on their own and they shouldn't have to fight. These girls are seriously trapped.

[goodsense]

And those illiterate husbands don't even bother to consider how that girl have lost her virginity - like considering whether it was her fault or not. I know one girl had her nose slit by her husband. In the end they left but she couldn't get another guy. She ended up with Tom to Dick to Harry..... And there is no police to complain to......

I have seen decent men trying to even cover for their wives fault in such instances when she is wrong, but not all women are lucky, the ones who deserve the support most of all.

[Hulkster]

Wow goodsense....it reflects upon ages of scrutiny and tolerance of women to abuse by society and their husbands...it is of this that i hope to make a point to indians after my maids related the same experiences....hopefully people understand the consequences and troubles this women go through when they get married early and also of the way they are treated in the society...First of all we need to educate the society not through speeches but through examples...we need to also show them the pain that happens to girls due to this..then maybe such villages wunt be so hard on girls

Do you people have any suggestions on how we can do this?...enlightment is needed fast for such socieities on the atrocities forced upon women.

[Hulkster]

In Pakistan women are treated like vermin...and that itself is a polite description of how they are treated...in fact you can safely say that they are not allowed to do alot of things...education restricted..clothes restriction...relationship restriction...they get married early..and are watched very closely before and after marriage.

I believe if a girl has a relationship with a boy, she is stoned to death or even beheaded in afghanistan and if the girl is raped..violated(even if it is not her fault)..she has to be killed to protect the family's honour..this is abit outside the topic but since goodsense madam put those views..i might as well tell you guys of this as well.

It is very sad to hear women still cant express themselves freely in third world countries.

[goodsense]

Hulkster wrote:

"Do you people have any suggestions on how we can do this?...enlightment is needed fast for such socieities on the atrocities forced upon women."

I didn't want to reveal this as yet, but since you ask, I will. I am a member of the women's committee at the Vishnu Mandir here in Richmondhill, Ontario. We are having a meeting in a few days. The women are all Indian and from different countries. I have in mind to raise this issue alongside that about the children. Dr. B. Doobay, the head of the temple will be present, the only male I am told. It would be nice to have some men like you at the meeting Hulkster. And I am a bit perterb that we are not getting much response on this topic and discussion so far. What does this mean?