MARRIAGE ...Aspects & PROBLEMS.!

[MADDY]

the whole system of Indian marriages is flawed

Arranged Marriages:

Girl/ her family are looking for a boy with Good job,decent background/family, onsite/offshore - ..........so, the girl invariably tells a "yes" if the guy is in a good position - - in my case - all the position,salary that i have achieved now is all bcos of my dad......any person studying in decent school, decent environment,good college with millions of coaching classes - will obviously reach where i have - nuthing great........but there are somethings exclusive to me - which the girl shuld ideally like and tell a yes......adhellam enga - .......i dont want a girl to marry me bcos i work in a MNC ...........imagine a Maniratnam/ARR bashing girl, as my wife, who married me for just my company - my life will be crippled .........arranged marriages are way too kiddish even now.....the process of selection shuld mature......

Love Marriages:

Ideal for me - but girls seem to have a hatred for good guys with very strong ideologies - nowadays girls/guys want a good popcorn than a healthy meal.........when they apply the same logic to marriage partners, it goes horribly wrong..... ..........atleast, yes, love marriages is not all about money.career like arranged marriages - again, the decision making power of girls/guys have to mature.......also, the ugly caste/religion equations lying beneath ........its way too complex to decipher ....but yea, u cant adjust with mutually opposite cultures..........imagine, u praying sun and ur wife praying moon ......

ultimately, its people who have to mature and stabilise the process of marriages in India - .....so i'm waiting ....

[Lambretta]

Yet another thread tat has drawn me towards the hub....:P

the marriages which always work are arranged marriages......it's chosen by parents who can never think bad for their children........and so whomever they choose will actually be fit for the person....... ARRANGED MARRIAGES are always the best.....

Is this for REAL?? I mean, a present-gen. teenage girl actually saying this??!! 'hope I'm not imagining things! :P
OK ok , jokes apart, well, to be honest, I for one am not exactly against love marriages, atleast not for theones WITH parental consent......I've known a few ppl. who've done tat....but again tat is poss' I guess only for individuals both within a particular community/religion.....if it goes outside tat it turns out to be rtaher complicated.....giving rise to issues like religious conversions etc.....this IMO is a misuse of religion, as a ticket to a preferred marriage!
I usedto be all for arranged marriages only, feeling the same way bout thm.....until recently when I began having 2nd thots bout them......altho I shudnt say this, IMO arranged marriages in general nowadays hav lost their original purpose of parents looking for well-being of their children....today they have mostly grown commercialised/highly materialistic, w/ the intentions of the parents entirely different, intending more to attain, as sivan said, a certain 'prestige' status in society (viz. having an NRI/SW/IT Prof. s-i-l) thru the arrangement & using their children as a bait, rather than jus following a cultural norm for a good cause.....

or like SP akka says choose someone whom u like and parents will agree

Still not tat easy, unhappily not even if its sumone from the same community, as parents (esp. of the girl) r likely to bring up the issue of educational background, job, career, 'status' & things like tat & put the choice to an end!

arranged marriages can never get oudated.no matter what

Maybe not.........but even then they're likely to continue jus as a mere social custom/formality more than nething else.......

[Lambretta]

These days Marriages should be made with the following pre-requisites:

1. HIV negative certification

2. No midnight partying habits

3. No 2/3/4th husband or wife [ illegal affairs]


have an option as "Physically and Morally Healthy Marriage With Consent of Everyone!"

That would be apt in today's scenario

[Lambretta]

the whole system of Indian marriages is flawed

Arranged Marriages:

Girl/ her family are looking for a boy with Good job,decent background/family, onsite/offshore - ..........so, the girl invariably tells a "yes" if the guy is in a good position -
but there are somethings exclusive to me - which the girl shuld ideally like and tell a yes......adhellam enga - .......i dont want a girl to marry me bcos i work in a MNC ...........imagine a Maniratnam/ARR bashing girl, as my wife, who married me for just my company - my life will be crippled .........arranged marriages are way too kiddish even now.....the process of selection shuld mature......

I know how u feel....imagine a Saree/trad. garb bashing girl as my wife who married me for a similar reason.....

Love Marriages:

Ideal for me - but girls seem to have a hatred for good guys with very strong ideologies - nowadays girls/guys want a good popcorn than a healthy meal.........when they apply the same logic to marriage partners, it goes horribly wrong..... ..........atleast, yes, love marriages is not all about money.career like arranged marriages - again, the decision making power of girls/guys have to mature.......also, the ugly caste/religion equations lying beneath ........its way too complex to decipher ....but yea, u cant adjust with mutually opposite cultures..........imagine, u praying sun and ur wife praying moon ......
ultimately, its people who have to mature and stabilise the process of marriages in India -

Agreed again!

[tvsankar]

Dear Sp and Maddy,

NIce analysis about marriages.

But one thing - ippadi niraiya think panravangaluku Love panradhu kashtam or Love varadhu.

Bala kumaranin oru kadhaiyil love patri avarudaiya varthaigal -

podhum enra manadhu udaiyavargalai kadhal patruvadhu illai.

saathika vendum, idhu podadhu , innum vendum enra manadhu udaiyavargaluku kadhal patrukiradhu .... unmaiyaga irukumo?

[Hulkster]

Bala kumaranin oru kadhaiyil love patri avarudaiya varthaigal -

podhum enra manadhu udaiyavargalai kadhal patruvadhu illai.

saathika vendum, idhu podadhu , innum vendum enra manadhu udaiyavargaluku kadhal patrukiradhu .... unmaiyaga irukumo?

Manithargalin manasu niranthiramaaga irunthaal ithu unmaiyaagum..anaal manithanin manasu ovvuru nimidathil varum sambavathin nigalvugalei porathirukkiruthu....antha sambavam avarakku kathal patriyum puriya veikkulaam..solla mudiyaathu

As long as your a human being your mindset will always be affected by things that happen around you and you may never know when your mindset will change if you come across any hardhitting situation....and trying to ignore the opposite sex is impossible..our body is built in a way to be attracted to the opposite sex...even if we do ignore our feelings somehow we have the urge to look at a girl/boy

Manithargal ninaipethu ondru...kadavul seivethu verondu

[Shakthiprabha.]

Dear Sp and Maddy,

NIce analysis about marriages.

But one thing - ippadi niraiya think panravangaluku Love panradhu kashtam or Love varadhu.

Bala kumaranin oru kadhaiyil love patri avarudaiya varthaigal -

I disagree :P (OR... MAY BE THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS :P )

yup... we try to get more logical... and practical in any issues or most issues.

love is a cute thing, which is BEYOND ALL LOGIC :P

yES, May be we dont carry our heart up the sleeves, to let it escape, every now and then ,

but we do have our heart deep down and secured, WHICH DESPITE OF EFFORTS, sneaks out at t imes

[Roshan]

Bala kumaranin oru kadhaiyil love patri avarudaiya varthaigal -

podhum enra manadhu udaiyavargalai kadhal patruvadhu illai.

saathika vendum, idhu podadhu , innum vendum enra manadhu udaiyavargaluku kadhal patrukiradhu .... unmaiyaga irukumo?

I think it's more or less correct !!


This is anyway a never ending topic like KH Vs RK or Ajith Vs Vijay or IR Vs ARR So let me remain a silent observer hence forth

[Shakthiprabha.]

podhum enra manadhu udaiyavargalai kadhal patruvadhu illai.

saathika vendum, idhu podadhu , innum vendum enra manadhu udaiyavargaluku kadhal patrukiradhu .... unmaiyaga irukumo?

In my opinion, This is true to a GREAT extent

[VENKIRAJA]

Dear Sp and Maddy,
Bala kumaranin oru kadhaiyil love patri avarudaiya varthaigal -
podhum enra manadhu udaiyavargalai kadhal patruvadhu illai. saathika vendum, idhu podadhu , innum vendum enra manadhu udaiyavargaluku kadhal patrukiradhu .... unmaiyaga irukumo?

naan innum innum vendum enru ninaikirene..... :P
jus kidding.i feel love marriages with consent would be okay otherwise loving the girl whom parents give consent(befor marriage).hmmmmmm lets see what god decides would be best for me!