TIME FOR ROMANCE [Archive] - Page 2

goodsense

8th February 2006, 04:44 PM

This romance thread is so hot. So much activity while I was asleep.

Sandeep wrote "its long been agreed that you gals are right on "how women think about friendship", the argument was on "how men think about friendship".

This is true, women go into friendships with a different thinking than most men. Men would always try to be one step ahead in creating opportunities and women need to to keep their heads on. It is men who usually make the first move.

About the difference in society i.e. how much lmits there are, I have to say here in the west, opportunites are there to go beyond, no societal control, so there is much more pressure for ladies to be "strong" e.g. when the males come into work wearing sensual cologne over you or wanting you to invite him over. You start to get the warning bells :oops: You just have to know which male friends to keep far. All your male friends would not be the same :wink:

pavalamani pragasam

8th February 2006, 07:05 PM

But one thing is obvious: these teenage "friends" are found everywhere, in parks, theatres & eateries. It is disgusting when unlicensed pairs keep brushing their heads in the front seats of the theatre obstructing the screen from our view! A calm stroll in the prk is marreded by sad thoughts about cooing adolescent pairs seen there in increasing numbers. The less said about picnic spots the better. Such a rise of "friendship" among today's youth leaves one with sunken spirits rather than elevating them. What an irony!

And already the air is electric with the approaching Valentine's day. A day of the most ridiculous humbugs!

Nerd

8th February 2006, 10:14 PM

This romance thread is so hot. So much activity while I was asleep.

Exactly :rotfl:

Jeez I shouldnt have posted here :oops:

Becks I want to say you something, Yes I talked with my friend atleast 3-4 hours a day before marriage, still I talk with her but not that often, we talk atleast 2-3 hours in the weekends, thats it.

But I ve explained my stand here. A guy and girl can be thick friends, without letting the harmones take over and I m proud to say "take me as an example"

When she got married, eventhough her hubby is very understanding, we both decided that we shunt talk that much. Now his hubby is also a very good friend of mine and I m sure he is one of those precious guys who are hard to find, these days :(

a.ratchasi

9th February 2006, 07:21 AM

AR,

What statement of mine made u conclude I am on Nov's side? :roll:

I wonder if I am THAT bad in communicating!!!!! :roll:

Nevermind, SP.
Have a good day! :D

a.ratchasi

9th February 2006, 07:23 AM

When she got married, eventhough her hubby is very understanding, we both decided that we shunt talk that much. Now his hubby is also a very good friend of mine and I m sure he is one of those precious guys who are hard to find, these days :(

Common sense prevails. :thumbsup:
I am happy to note that you have two good friends in place of one.

goodsense

13th February 2006, 08:32 PM

Happy Valentine's Day :D

http://rampur0.tripod.com/kuch-kuch.html

Sanguine Sridhar

13th February 2006, 08:58 PM

Ingga post pannavey bayama irrukku :shock: :lol: Anyways..Happy Valentines Day :D

covaithamilan

13th February 2006, 09:22 PM

Happy Valentines's Day for everyone....

i wish this day to be a romantic day for you.....

Anoushka

13th February 2006, 09:30 PM

Sridhar: neenga pOi bayapadalama :D

Anyway happy Valentines day to everyone...

and btw, what do you guys think about love at first sight? :)

Shakthiprabha.

13th February 2006, 11:45 PM

Anou,

Love at first sight?

nah.

It can just be ATTRACTION at first sight, developed into love later. :)

Lambretta

14th February 2006, 01:38 PM

Anou,

Love at first sight?

nah.

It can just be ATTRACTION at first sight, developed into love later. :)
Aha.....egg-jack'ly! :thumbsup: :lol:

14th February 2006, 09:22 PM

Happy Valentine's Day!

Anoushka, here is my opinion about your question. If beauty is the only expectation, then love can happen at first sight. All other things like talent, knowledge, character, even wealth - are not visible or cannot be judged at the first meeting.

Lambretta

14th February 2006, 09:48 PM

All other things like talent, knowledge, character, even wealth - are not visible or cannot be judged at the first meeting.
True, esp. character! :)

ssanjinika

14th February 2006, 09:55 PM

Happy V'Day to Everyone!

Anou,I dont believe in love at first sight.Chemistry is what happens..but lasting kind..hmm..doubtful.Infact dont think it can happen :P.

15th February 2006, 04:42 AM

lambretta :)

I think it will be interesting to hear the answers from men as women are generally cautious.

a.ratchasi

15th February 2006, 06:57 AM

Just a question:

In an arranged marriage, how does one agree to marry the other (leave aside family status, caste, creed whatever nots as it is taken care by the 'elders' of both couples)? Do the elders allow the couple to talk, go out and then decide whether they like each other enough to get married or are they allowed to get together only after agreeing to marry after the first encounter?

The later, does it not constitute love at first sight?

goodsense

15th February 2006, 07:16 AM

It depends on culture. In the west thy expect you to go out with someone to get to know him or her. That can be seen as a relationship :wink: . In the west too, marriages are arranged, you don't see the person until you lift the veil the wedding night (after the marriage) :lol:, like in the old days elsewhere according to my grandother. Every thing is arranged by the parents and they see the person before. I know of a recent case :wink: Nowadays, there is no standard, it varies from family to family.

Sanguine Sridhar

15th February 2006, 07:36 AM

I am sorry to pull out the same old topic..Anu your comment on Love-First sight is a weapon which attacks guys first.If i am not wrong all girls talked here think your past :) .. Between if it grows into love it depends on how that female handles that relationship. Hope i am correct.

IMO Love at first sight is not at all wrong (Eventhough this love mostly comes out of by physical attraction) It is how you make the affair more sensible one by talking,sharing,knowing postive and negative of your pair,Understanding etc.,

Lambretta

15th February 2006, 09:45 AM

Do the elders allow the couple to talk, go out and then decide whether they like each other enough to get married
Yes I believe many parents allow this nowadays.....infact many even agree for the couple to get engaged for say 6 months b4 getting married.....

The later, does it not constitute love at first sight?
Hmm.....I wud agree w/ SP tat in this case it'd be Attraction at first sight! :wink: :)

Sandeep

15th February 2006, 11:16 AM

a.ratchasi

15th February 2006, 11:57 AM

The later, does it not constitute love at first sight?
Hmm.....I wud agree w/ SP tat in this case it'd be Attraction at first sight! :wink: :)

Its not even attraction, its about making a choice. Should I take or wait.

:lol: :lol: How right you are, Sandeep!
Though, in some cases, there is a little love lurking somewhere nearby.

a.ratchasi wrote:
Do the elders allow the couple to talk, go out and then decide whether they like each other enough to get married

Yes I believe many parents allow this nowadays.....infact many even agree for the couple to get engaged for say 6 months b4 getting married.....

Well, lammy, I meant that too, of course. :wink:

selvakumar

15th February 2006, 12:02 PM

"Love at first sight is indeed a special one". It is not about checking whether you or me. But indeed a unique feeling that runs through our mind always. I am speaking about true love here. NOt a fatal attraction. Attraction can happen at any time on any beautiful girl/boy. But Love at first sight happens only on one person. It is an unforgettable moment that rises time and again from our deep thoughts and gives us a feeling of having reached an oasis after a long run in a desert. The starting point in love is

* Losing urself completely on the other person. U might have lost yourself on her own street(i.e., her world).. Time and again, you will be searching yourself in the same street without knowing that you are there only. Love at first sight gives us a feel of this..

* After this, some external forces will inform us that they have found us on those streets. (It could be your friends or even foes). Having submerged into her/him completely, you will find it extremely difficult to come out of her thoughts. The second important thing is - "Living in her world" - You will emulate her in each and every action. Thereby you will give a clue to others on what you were then and what you are now..

* After this one, the next big thing will happen. You will adore her beauty with beautiful flowers that will give her a loving pain. Your looks will give her a loving pain which she will need more from you. Your looks will be lot more different from others on her. Some people might look at her in such a way that will give an irritating pain for her. But your looks will give a nice, neat, polishing look to her beauty. She will like it and will expect more like from you.

* Love at first sight develops a strong bond between the pair. So, even if you look at other objects, you will imagine how beautful it would be if it can reflect your beloved..

----------to be continued-----------

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 02:52 PM

Thanks guys... Selva - your post sounds interesting.... I've never beleived in love at first sight!

What made me ask this question though is the fact that I went home recently and I happened to pass by a house that we lived in long long ago.

I had just moved to this city and started school two days later. This guy started following me from day two! He followed me sincerely for the next three years! I never spoke a word to him but still he followed me.

The more he followed me, the more irritated I was because I knew he knew nothing about me and I didn't beleive in falling in love with someone who I know nothing about....

Years later when I went back this time I thought of all this and I started wondering about love at first sight and that is why I asked the question :)

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 03:00 PM

Sridhar: It is not to attack guys or anything... it was a question that came out of curiosity! it could happen for men or women, I don't question that, I just wondered why it happens and what others think about it! :)

AR: I guess in the case of arranged marriage, it is a matter of choice as the person has decided to fall in love with whoever the family choses for them. Infact it is the easy way out. The family already shortlists for them someone with good looks, health, wealth and a family with similar habits as their own so that it would be easy for the person to adjust, live and fall in love with the spouse.

That is my opinion, I could be wrong! :)

selvakumar

15th February 2006, 03:56 PM

Thanks guys... Selva - your post sounds interesting.... I've never beleived in love at first sight!

"Love at first sight" - It does provide the unique feeling. But this feeling should come from both the end. In love, both the hands should meet. A single hand won't be able to produce the required sound and rhythm. Love at first sight -> a special one which I rate above all other. It is a spontaneous feeling that arise between the couple. It never comes after some poor analysis like

* Caste
* Money
* Societal status
* Most important point - beauty
* etc

This vibration should come from both the people. It should not be a single point. But again I am not finding anything wrong with a boy or girl who gets similar feelings while the other has not got it. To dream for a life with a girl / boy is their own individual wish. As per the laws of love, in my view this one is true and "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT" does has its power till now. If it is true, then it won't check the negative things that might arise in the future due to some external forces. The success of a love depends on mutual credibility. But if love does not focus on this credibility part just like LAFS, then definitly the love relationship will be a successful one.

What made me ask this question though is the fact that I went home recently and I happened to pass by a house that we lived in long long ago. I had just moved to this city and started school two days later. This guy started following me from day two! He followed me sincerely for the next three years! I never spoke a word to him but still he followed me. The more he followed me, the more irritated I was because I knew he knew nothing about me and I didn't beleive in falling in love with someone who I know nothing about....Years later when I went back this time I thought of all this and I started wondering about love at first sight and that is why I asked the question :)

This is not "Love at first sight". This is a one-side love. You might have forgot / hesitate to ask him (through direct talks) to know his true intentions. Making him to wait for three years and then departing him (without a single word) is something which is very disgusting. He is not a person who should be treated like an UNDERDOG just because he was following you. Better talk with him the next time u meet him rather than viewing him as an untouchable person. Just answer my question - Nowadays, if parents are searching for a suitable partner for their child, they concentrate on several other things. After that, they come to a conclusion and then they are investigating about the particular person concerned. Just because of some poor, idiotic factors, they are indirectly rejecting some nice persons who can make a better life for their child. See, the concerned boy could have made ur life sweeter(if u have talked with him on this.. and there by a check on the basic chemistry - otherwise no probs) who knows!! IN future, even if u marry someone and if he is more overwhelmed with the fact that he possess all those factors, then definitly life will be a hell for you. Whereas a person who doesn't have all those things, but yet confirms his pure love is an ideal match for anyone. It is better to talk with him(if he is still following you) and then resolving the things. Go with it(if u r still not married). The ball is now in your court.

a.ratchasi

15th February 2006, 04:11 PM

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 04:36 PM

Selva: :) Thanks for your post! I am already married. This happened 16- 18 years ago! I was still in school then as I have mentioned. I was way too young to think about love and all that stuff. I didn't want to treat him like an UNDERDOG, but then I didn't want to fall in love or anything then.

All I wanted to do was to concentrate on my studies... I was too busy with my studies, NSS, Veenai class, typewriting class, guitar class, etc that I had no time to spare for him at that stage...

I knew his name two years after he started following me because he sent a card to my home (yes, he had the guts to do it!). Funnyily enough his name was first half of my name...

The bit I didn't add in my previous post is that I had moved to a hostel as my parents moved out of that city and he used to call up the hostel regularly (Thankfully I was a person that the warden trusted so I didn't have a problem) I would answer the phone and if it was him I would quietly disconnect and walk off but that didn't make him stop calling either. So finally one day I asked him for his address and wrote a long 10 page letter to him as to why I didn't think anything would work out between us! And after that he stopped calling. I guess I should have done that earlier... but how much of maturity can you expect from a school going child? I always had the idea that ignore something long enough and it will go away (lesson learnt from having a troublesome (but sweet) younger brother) and applied my logic there, but the trouble (him) didn't go away that easily!

What made me wonder was that he knew nothing about me and I was not a beauty either (my aunt calls me ugly duckling...)... a bit plump, dressed sloppily, dark (definetly darker than him), short, etc! So what was it?

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 04:37 PM

AR: You are a hopless romantic (like me)... :D

selvakumar

15th February 2006, 05:06 PM

What made me wonder was that he knew nothing about me and I was not a beauty either (my aunt calls me ugly duckling...)... a bit plump, dressed sloppily, dark (definetly darker than him), short, etc! So what was it?

Oh.. I feel pity for that person. He must have seen the real face of love rather than concentrating on beauty, money etc. Beauty is only in the eyes of the person. He might have thought you as Ms World in his mind. Even if u ask him now, he might say the samething and that could have been the effect of his "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT"

selvakumar

15th February 2006, 05:12 PM

Well, what else makes a couple to say yes right after the first meeting (minus the societal requirements-of course)? :lol2:

Sorry, Anou and Sandeep. The romantic side of me strive to call that as 'love at first'! :D :D

The answer to your question is:

"What makes a new born baby to call "Amma" even before hearing the word and taking control of it's senses" that is the power of love. Love is not a trade. It cannot be brought out after some compromises. It is a feeling that should comeout spontaneously.

Instead of thinking nights whether a particular girl / boy will suit us for our life and then taking a decision, it is better to call for a bid in a local newspaper just like how the whole world is doing now through matrimonials. In this method, u can reduce your work of applying some forumulas, correcting some equations etc.

malsi

15th February 2006, 06:15 PM

we can only have this feelings (" love at first sight" ) towards one person...but the sweetest thing about it is..it comes without us realisimg..it comes without us choosing the person..it just happpens..we would not know anything about the person..race,religion,age,caste,status,wealth,etc etc...but It just happens...and dont you think it is a feelings that is very very true...

Shakthiprabha.

15th February 2006, 06:20 PM

Okei... herez the next topic under romance.

What do u think IS THE ULTIMATE place time and way of romance. (imaginations are okei too... like prince on a horse sweeping the woman away etc )

Feel free to say ur fantasies.

*************

For me ideal romance is...

Ive always loved to meet a special person

at............

OFFICE. (thank god I did not work :lol: )

Ideal spot for confessing romance is........

OFFICIAL TRIPS (during a car journey) (hehe)

Right way to confess is to.......

SING A SONG

Mood of conveying is...

NAUGHTY

**********

Though Ive had arranged marriage, I used to say these fantasies to my husband and laugh it out :D

Lets hear all of urs...

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 06:32 PM

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 06:43 PM

Shakthi: I always used to tell hubby dear when we were friends that my guy should come in a BMW Z3 (Not a Ferrari, not a Porche, but a Z3), in his formal suit, take me out for dinner on some roof top restaurant, go down on his knees with a dozen red roses and ask me if I would like to walk the path of life with him :) and he never even propsed to me.... :lol:

If anyone watches Friends, I like the way Ross wants to propose to Rachel too...

selvakumar

15th February 2006, 06:47 PM

Selva: I don't know what to say! Mine was a love marriage. Our friendship slowly blossomed into love. It is strange that neither of us proposed, but we are married slightly over a year now..... I don't know how one can see the real face of love without knowing about the other person, probably I am not a romantic after all! :)

There is nothing in seeing the real face of the other person. If you are ready to lend your heart only after verifying the credentials, then I am sorry. Then you might be checking their credentials even after marriage also(No offense meant!!). Pure love accepts the negatives and grooms on both positives and negatives. No body is perfect and verifying the credentials is one thing which will convert love into something else. Every person who lives in the world is romantic. They fail in the way they convey it. that's all. They restrict themselves by telling that they are ugly-tuckling. That's it. In love, nothing can stop the pair when they don't care about the striking factors and concentrate only on how they can make their life beautiful.

Anoushka

15th February 2006, 08:24 PM

Selva: when I say knowing about the other person I do not mean verifying credentials!

I love my hubby dear knowing fairly well that he gets angry (with me) easily, he raises his voice even when he is talking normally, and he has a million other faults, that doesn't matter to me at all! The same with him, he knows I am worse than a child in getting cranky if I am hungry or sleepy :lol: But that doesn't stop us. I think our life is much more smooth and peaceful because we know all this about each other.

When he gets angry with me, all I do is just turn around and tell him something funny... I can do that because I know him fairly well and that he doesn't mean to hurt me! If I did not know him well enough then my reaction to his anger would be completely different!

The very fact that we fell in love would have been because we knew everything about each other! I don't agree to whatever he says and vice versa but then we know that people are entitled to their opinions, so it doesn't bother us!

In my opinion when you love someone, you know everything about them and you love them inspite of their faults :)

ssanjinika

15th February 2006, 09:05 PM

Selva ,
I saw that you put up good argument for Love at first sight..but Im sorry to say that I still cant seem to grasp the concept.I cant deny that when 2 people meet and get attracted,theres something there but can it be termed LOVE?It could be the stepping stone for Love to develop..but I dont think its love itself. How can you feel the emotion when you dont know anything about the person?And I dont mean the surface things..I mean his or her tastes ,likes,dislikes etc.Accepting a person with their quirks is fine but when you have nothing in common how will you enjoy life together?
My husband and I met in a forum like this one ,exchanged emails and then proceeded to chat before we actually met each other.It took us some more time before we were sure that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.Im not saying that it takes everyone the same amount of time to be sure of their hearts but at first sight ?? :? :huh:.

goodsense

15th February 2006, 11:34 PM

Amoush,

You seem to be quite an amusing character and care less about what people think :) . I like that :D . It seem like you can put up with allot. I can get very intolerant when men try to act like babies wanting attention and pampering :wink: . That is not masculine to me. So even if in the beginning you feel attracted, these things can put you off and make you skeptical, enough to cause you to stay away. So feeling attracted or love at first sight, does not mean it will be pursued.

goodsense

16th February 2006, 01:04 AM

SHAKTI WROTE:

"OFFICE. (thank god I did not work )

Ideal spot for confessing romance is........

OFFICIAL TRIPS (during a car journey) (hehe"

:lol: You remind me of so many things :lol:

a.ratchasi

16th February 2006, 06:23 AM

The answer to your question is:

"What makes a new born baby to call "Amma" even before hearing the word and taking control of it's senses" that is the power of love. Love is not a trade. It cannot be brought out after some compromises. It is a feeling that should comeout spontaneously.

Selvakumar, in case you are still not aware, I am all for love at first sight. My question was merely a thought to ponder for all! :)

:) @ Anou

stranger

16th February 2006, 06:44 AM

* Pure love accepts the negatives and grooms on both positives and negatives.

Love is just a word invented by humans. They use it according to their convenience. If you carefully look at that over the time

* five years

* ten years

* fifteen years

* twenty years.

The strength of "love" changes and one may have to redefine today's definition of the same love.

Some of us might have to wait to see the meaning and save whatever we write as love today, for the future (as we are young and kiddish and dont see what is really coming)

You will be surprised to realize that how stupid you were most of the time. 8-)

However, if your love or lover is no more or short-lived unfortunately, then we are talking about a different scenario here! :)

Nerd

16th February 2006, 07:16 AM

What do u think IS THE ULTIMATE place time and way of romance

Here I go :)

Place: All those places where the risk factor is maximum, which means maximum excitement. E.g. Either one's house when people are around :shock:, public places especially temples :shock:

Way of romance: Conversation :)

Weird huh :lol:

for the love at first sight thingie I already gave a response, BS :lol: You can just get attracted to someone but you need atleast 10+ sights to really start loving someone. 90% of the cases you would never get to see ur *first sight* again :lol:

a.ratchasi

16th February 2006, 08:00 AM

90% of the cases you would never get to see ur *first sight* again

Ahhh, there still is a probability of 10%! :lol: :lol:

pavalamani pragasam

16th February 2006, 08:08 AM

Stranger! :clap:

dev

16th February 2006, 08:19 AM

Some of us might have to wait to see the meaning and save whatever we write as love today, for the future (as we are young and kiddish and dont see what is really coming)

You will be surprised to realize that how stupid you were most of the time. 8-)

Very true...

Lambretta

16th February 2006, 11:10 AM

You will be surprised to realize that how stupid you were most of the time. 8-)
Just curious stranger, no offence- r u saying this from ur own experience?? :D

You can just get attracted to someone but you need atleast 10+ sights to really start loving someone.
Yup, bitter truth! :|

16th February 2006, 09:41 PM

Stranger, i completely agree with you. Whatever that is termed as love in fiction and in movies, has leap of difference from reality. May be because all stories narrate just one stage of one's life, say teenage, or 20s.They don't and cannot picture one's entire life time, which has so many turns, even the most creative writer cannot imagine or describe. Even in ramayana, where rama falls in love with seetha at the first sight, sends her to the forest at the end!

What we term as love - is it about liking one at the first sight, the first 5 years in a romantic way or one's entire life time in a subtle way? Which is superior?
When i see old loving couple, insignificant to the world, appears really romantic to me as they have crossed the test of time together.

pavalamani pragasam

16th February 2006, 10:17 PM

"When i see old loving couple, insignificant to the world, appears really romantic to me as they have crossed the test of time together."

Nothing can be closer to truth. What a vast difference in an exchange of glances between a young couple & an old couple. Decades of living together lets the couple know each other through & through. No need for words to communicate. They can predict through experience each & every reaction & reply. The volumes their eyes speak are weightier & richer, the warmth of supportingly held hands more confident & satisfying.

Life has its dark sides, troubles, trials, big & small battles. The experience to tide over all the ups & downs together is rewarding, worth its while. Romance is the spice that adds flavour & aroma which makes the meal tempting, appetising & interesting.

17th February 2006, 01:00 AM

You narrated my feelings in a poetic way, thanks PP.

pavalamani pragasam

17th February 2006, 08:31 AM

You are welcome, sv!

Anoushka

17th February 2006, 03:29 PM

Goodsense :) As you have discovered by now, I don't worry too much about what people think! I have better things to worry about in life... :) For a person like me who came from a big family, putting up with things is easy. And I don't define masculinity at all. I feel men are human beings like us so they need the same attention that we need. We tend to put them in a particular box and want to see them that way, just the way men do to us... not all women like jewellery, shopping, getting dolled up, etc... and woman who does not do all this cannot be said as not feminine... :)

Stranger: Love is just a word invented by humans, so are words like hunger and thirst and all other words written here :) Stranger, the very reason I am all for love (though not for love at first sight) is the fact that I grew up in a loving family. I've seen it my parents and my grandparents. In the 32 years that I know my parents, I can tell you that nothing has changed there. They still love each other the way they loved each other when I first remember seeing them :)
And as for realising how stupid we were most of the time, that happens not only in love but in everything else too... I've laughed at myself on how stupid I was to fight with the girl sitting next to me in school, how stupid I was to think "nellu sOru" was rice made out of nellu, how stupid I looked in a particular dress, etc!

I think it all depends on how one defines love :)

Sv/PP madam: When you see a old couple you think it is romantic, that romance should have started somewhere when they were young, right? Would you have looked at the same couple when they were young and dismissed their love?
One need not be old to be able to predict each other's reaction. As I said I know exactly what my hubby dear's reaction is going to be, sometimes we think if someone over heard us then they would thing that we were mad... because that is how mad our conversation would be, but it would make perfect sense to us! Ask any of my sisters-in-law or my parents-in-law and they will tell you!
It is not that our tastes are similar or opinions are similar, it is just that we know what the other person's reaction is going to be, that is it :)

I've always enjoyed the little "seendal" between my parents :) My parents were very young when my dad got diabetes. My Mom stopped making sweets at home and reduced eating sweets then, this was when they were in their twenties, if anyone looked at them then and said it was stupidity, they should see them now... nearly thirty years on, my Mom still doesn't make sweets at home and rarely has sweets...
To go through life with its dark side and bright side I guess the romance should be there in the first place. If there is no romance when you are young, where do you think it will come from when you are old? In my opinion love does not happen at first sight, It takes months sometimes years to develop. Without love, life would be very mechanical... and again my definition of love need not necessarily be the same as yours :)

pavalamani pragasam

17th February 2006, 07:07 PM

The most important thing about love & romance is they get mellowed with years. A mellowed fruit is sweeter can't be denied!

Anoushka

17th February 2006, 07:10 PM

The most important thing about love & romance is they get mellowed with years. A mellowed fruit is sweeter can't be denied!

I think love and romance like life is beautiful in every stage... We should just learn to enjoy it as it is :)

malsi

17th February 2006, 08:16 PM

i completely agree with anoushka...

stranger

17th February 2006, 09:38 PM

Stranger: Love is just a word invented by humans, so are words like hunger and thirst and all other words written here :)

I think "love" is little more complicated as it involves one another person whom we think we understood. :D

I think it all depends on how one defines love :)

I thought unlike love it aint that hard to define "hunger" and "thirst" . That is why we dont see any debate on that subjects such as hunger, thirst, sweet, bitter, hot, cold etc., Nobody disagrees with anybody as those can be defined easily, and felt the same by everyone invariably. Time is immaterial there! :roll:

Stranger, the very reason I am all for love (though not for love at first sight) is the fact that I grew up in a loving family. I've seen it my parents and my grandparents. In the 32 years that I know my parents, I can tell you that nothing has changed there. They still love each other the way they loved each other when I first remember seeing them :)
And as for realising how stupid we were most of the time, that happens not only in love but in everything else too... I've laughed at myself on how stupid I was to fight with the girl sitting next to me in school, how stupid I was to think "nellu sOru" was rice made out of nellu, how stupid I looked in a particular dress, etc!

I am very happy for you anou! If I were you I would feel exactly like you do. :smile2:

But this is a very big world. This world has people such as * Robert Kincaid and * Francesca Johnson who realize what really "true love" is, only after several decades of their married life! Should I respect their feelings too or NOT :?:

17th February 2006, 09:45 PM

Anoushka, i completely agree with you on one point, there are differences between the 'definitions' of a man/a woman and 'reality'. The confusion arises because of the human tendency to simplify things by giving a definition - it itself leads to more confusion!

I didn't mean only old people have real love. First i cannot trust love at first sight. Second i am saying anything can be taken as real if it lasts long.

Whatever they show in the films or what some young lovers do - like how a man should treat her lady love, shower her with gifts, or express their love in front of elders,... I don't think these are the "essential signs of romance". In our parents day, when the concept of joint family was existing, the romance was subtle. Does it mean there was no romance in the olden days? Look at all the ego clashes that happen between many modern couples. Its all because some people understood love wrongly.

Though two people can like each other at the first meeting, thats just a part it! As you said how your mother avoided sweets for the sake of your father, love also needs sacrifice. It is not just getting pampered by each other from time to time. It is everything. Love evolves with age.

In short I support a matured love. As you said it need not be age dependent. Again it need not follow the modern definition of how a lover should be - like bending on knee with a rose in hand, showering with gifts, etc.

pavalamani pragasam

17th February 2006, 10:05 PM

Your clarity of thinking AND expressing is admirable, sv!

Shakthiprabha.

17th February 2006, 11:03 PM

pavalamani pragasam

17th February 2006, 11:14 PM

Thanx, SP! That is the advantage of experience in life(pun intended!)!

Shakthiprabha.

17th February 2006, 11:22 PM

18th February 2006, 12:24 AM

Thanks PP mam

Shekhar

18th February 2006, 09:59 AM

There is a wonderful book "Psychology of Romantic Love" by Nathaniel Brandon.
The first part of the book traces the change in the very concept of love over ages.
The second part gives a wonderful analysis of love relationships and conditions needed for the love to flourish and sustain over years.
The book has enlightened me to no less extent in understanding relationships.

http://www.nathanielbranden.net/boo/boo05.html

pavalamani pragasam

18th February 2006, 12:47 PM

Sounds like a book to be recommended to the innumerous young lovers gushing forth romantic feelings in all the sections of the Hub!

19th February 2006, 01:15 AM

Thanks Shekhar. I was wondering if anybody has attempted to write on such a topic and it is interesting to know that it exists!

Lambretta

19th February 2006, 10:49 AM

Incidentally, for those who r long into the life of the householder but aspire for spiritual enlightment/guidance in their everyday lives &/or keen to mould their marital relationship into a new dimension in subsequent years (ie, moving away from physically oriented satisfaction) can try purchasing this book "God & the householder" by Talari Anantha Babu.
Altho this is the only link I found abt this book:
http://www.indiaclub.com/shop/SearchResults.asp?ProdStock=3088

U can get it for much less at ne local RK math. I got one for free at the RK mission here tho, found it very good, altho strictly speaking I'm not one who's in a position to make use of it as yet! :)