'Crush' trouble again! Advice needed, folks!

[Bipolar]

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[Anoushka]

Bipolar: you haven't done anything bad and you are not a bad person, everyone goes through this phase of having a crush on someone! :)

Do you think you want the girl to know how you feel, if you don't want her to know and if you don't want to do anything about this feeling (crush) of yours, then you can just tell her that you were going through a difficult phase and that is why you avoided her. You don't have to explain anything else to her. This is what I feel, others may have a different opinion. :)

[rachel]

pani thuli..pani thuli.....

[Braandan]

Anoushka is right. It would be easy to email or right a letter to her explaining the situation.

[Hulkster]

Bipolar, getting crushes or infatuations is a normal thing..the thing is you are feeling abit too insecure about your crush and letting your feelings take over you..relax and let us take it slowly.

Let us remember that there is no sin in talking to a girl whom we like. Its our feelings and we cant hide it in forever or else we will feel more nervous..more insecure and it will eventually make us "weak" in handling such situations.

Just start off with a simple hi...how are you and imagine your crush to be like your mother. It will be tough if you see your crush as a stranger so its best you think of someone close to your heart as her to help with your confidence during speech. While you start talking you will slowly be able to move on to your subject without trouble as the toughest stage is just getting to talk to her.

If a girl feels awkward because you talked to her..it does not mean she feels you are bad or anything. It is either that they feel uncomfortable by the way you talk nervously or they too might be having feelings about you. If a girl thinks your bad she will avoid you and abit more angry when she starts a coversation so dunt be too hasty to conclude that she thinks your bad.

Trying to write her a letter might work..but the thing is you will still feel uncomfortable when you see her face to face
as in your speech will sound very nervous. It is best you talk this out with her. As i said just think of her like your mother or someone you have known for a long time and it will not disturb your speech with her.

First relax and remember that the reason why you feel like your bad is because your feeling abit tensed and insecure about not being able to talk to her...do not let your feelings get to you..think of happier things and perhaps try to have abit more lighter and happier approach to your crush...i assure you it will help you.

Hope your crush will succeed into love..all the best Bipolar :thumbsup:

[Badri]

Bipolar, by your own admission, you call it a crush.

The meaning of the word "crush" is Temporary love of an adolescent

Granted you are no adolescent, but before you rush into it, first analyse and see if it love or merely a crush. Crushes have the habit of fading away and it will gain neither you nor the girl anything to rush into it, even talking to her about it.

I would suggest you take some time, analyse the way you feel about her vis-a-vis other girls and if you still have strong feelings for her, then and only then to approach her on this subject.

In the meantime, it is good to cultivate a friendship with her, without giving any indications of your crush on her, as that might intimidate her or put her off or even land you deeper into something that you might later regret, if it turns out to be only a passing crush and not genuine love.

Let good sense prevail for that is the best foundation for a good, solid relationship that is then built out of love.

[Hulkster]

:notthatway: Crush is not determined by age..it may come to anybody at any point of their life..if you do have a sort of different style of feelings about someone you will get this infatuation. Btw crush is not temporary love...it is a sort of emotions that might either lead to love or die off..like a sort of presumed attraction.

[Badri]

I merely quoted the dictionary meaning of the word Crush, Chandrasekhar. In the English language, this is what Crush means. See here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush

and here http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=crush&db=* (see the 5th entry under noun form)

If that is not what you mean, then I would suggest you use a different word, and not try and attempt to re-define the meaning of the word.

[Hulkster]

We cant all determine the meanings of feelings...it is like a maze..many complications that can be related to one another. It is like saying life is a process of events that happens till a human passes away when we know that is lot more inside. These meanings or definitions are more like a general perception of what they might be which is agreed by a majority not a definite answer. Sometimes we have to be logical and try to look into such things to see if that is what they really are rather than merely following what is written. Remember it was written by humans..not by GOD :D

[crazy]

Bipolar,
hm iam think its better if u talk to her about how and what u feel. lets just hope it goes well :)

[ramky]

Bipolar, since she feels awkward talking to you, why dont u call her and clarify things to her ? If thats not possible, drop her a letter explaining things and add that you would like to meet her and explain it also, if she's ok with it.

[malsi]

can i say something bipolar..just gv urself abt a month...dont confess anything to her...

after one month..if you still feel the same for her..then talk to her..tell her abt ur feelings..

because sometimes..this kind of feelings may go away..it might be a kind of an attraction..or may be infatuation..or as u say crush...

im sure many people here must hv experienced the same..

[pavalamani pragasam]

What malsi says is correct :thumbsup:

[malsi]

thanks PP mam..actually saying this out of my own experience :)

[Bipolar]

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[Sanguine Sridhar]

Bipolar dont listen to advices..this is my advice! Because this is your life,I thought of telling this as the first post but i want to see what others are discussing. If you like her go ahead and tell.If she accepts your proposal well and good.If she say no..stay away from her.Concentrate on other things and wait for the approrpriate girl.Do this to your advantage or ignore it to your peril!

[Nakeeran]

Sanguine

At times past personal experience also helps a lot . Gives right direction .
So, I would suggest to hear opinions & then take a final call .

Yeah. ur destiny is urs & its up to u to decide ur future. true

Also appreciate the fact that Bipolar had created a thread only to hear suggestions from others :D

[crazy]

I've explained this to my friends, and here I am, explaining this to you guys, but so far, I haven't had the chance to explain it to her! :cry:

But as I said, I'm able to concentrate on my work a little more these days, so maybe I can slowly let it go, even if I never explain it to her (we're in our final year, we have another 11 months to go before we finish our course and leave university... I'm probably never going to see her after that... so then it might not matter...)... I would feel bad if the misunderstanding was never cleared up, but I guess sometimes that's life...

Hope u get a little time to explain what u just explained to us and ur friends :)

Good luck with ur studies :)

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Sanguine

At times past personal experience also helps a lot . Gives right direction .
So, I would suggest to hear opinions & then take a final call .

Yeah. ur destiny is urs & its up to u to decide ur future. true

Also appreciate the fact that Bipolar had created a thread only to hear suggestions from others :D

Ofcourse that is my suggestion :) ...