Marriages within relations.. Your views on this please.

[PARAMASHIVAN]

[tscii:1e5809d064]Marriages within relations.. Your views on this please.

Is it right or wrong to marry your cousins amongst your relation? I guess in the ‘olden’ days they did this to keep all family members together. Personally I don’t like this idea at all.

Scientifically babies born to adults (who married their cousins) has ‘higher’ chances of genetic disorders, premature births and various other health risks

Pls share your views
[/tscii:1e5809d064]

[sathya_1979]

my view (along with TM) - marriage enbadhe waste, sondhathula senjaa enna, veLeela senjaa enna? :lol: btw, dnt ask me why u got married, senja appuramdhaane theriyudhu :sigh:

[PARAMASHIVAN]

my view (along with TM) - marriage enbadhe waste, sondhathula senjaa enna, veLeela senjaa enna? :lol: btw, dnt ask me why u got married, senja appuramdhaane theriyudhu :sigh:

:lol2: :rotfl3:

[app_engine]

In my dad's village, at least till my gen, the marriages to aththai-makan / mAman makaL kinds and also the girl-thAi mAman kinds were very common.

The children never had any disabilities or such peculiar genetic disorders / defects etc. All were like any one of us, nothing abnormal. In addition, due to stronger family bondings / controls, the marriages were a lot more stabler (whether grudgingly the couple held on to it or lovingly, we'll never know, but stability was a fact).

That way, all this 'relative-marriage-brings-more-genetic-disorders' thingy, if one goes by what I've seen in real life, is questionable (even though docs / science crazy people keep harping on it).

That a genetic defect within a family group can easily get passed to the offspring is a simple fact, it will be the same case even if some individual from out of the family group marries such an individual with a serious defect:-(

IMO, while there's this 0.5 probability thingy difference if one or both spouses have a serious genetic defect to affect the child, that probability really does not matter to the one who's born with a defect :-(

With current advances in medical science, it would be good if each individual tests himself / herself to screen off any huge medical issues, prior to marriage (whether or not the partner is gonna be a relative).

Or at least prior to having a baby. Couple living without ever having a baby is so common here in the west and I wonder if it will be too long before it catches up to Indian couples.

[pavalamani pragasam]

:exactly: Myself a product- a standing healthy example- of such an alliance. A very common, harmless practice with many facets of advantage is dwindling now.

[dev]

Immediate cousinsna a big NO... scientific reasons thaan kaaranam... 2nd circle of cousinsna I feel it is okay...

[app_engine]

scientific reasons thaan kaaranam

Can you list out what exactly are they? (Including the 'genetic disorder' thingy that I briefly mentioned about)

[PARAMASHIVAN]

My mum and dad were cousins too. My mum's mum (my grandmum) is the sister of my dad's dad (my grand father).

But my question is does it improve family bondings to a 'greater extent' ? :roll:

Thiru where are you :lol2:

[app_engine]

The rh+ / rh- mismatch, for example, has nothing to do with aththai makaL business.

I know of a couple -NOT athai makaL kind but found out later to have rh diff.

They had such a healthy first baby but both their 2nd / 3rd children were unfortunately born deformed and didn't live to complete 1st / 2nd years :-(

[crazy]

NO !

[PARAMASHIVAN]

The rh+ / rh- mismatch, for example, has nothing to do with aththai makaL business.

I know of a couple -NOT athai makaL kind but found out later to have rh diff.

They had such a healthy first baby but both their 2nd / 3rd children were unfortunately born deformed and didn't live to complete 1st / 2nd years :-(

annEh

Genetic disorders and health issues are 'NOT' in our hands, what I am interested to know is, does it keep your family bonding stronger. I also heard that marriages within relations have very less divorce rates :roll:

[app_engine]

annEh

Genetic disorders and health issues are 'NOT' in our hands

But your very first post in this thread categorically declares that genetic disorder / premie etc rates are very high among cousin-marriages.

That's why I dwelt upon it a bit. From where can one get the "ACTUAL" statistics for such "scientific" claims?

[app_engine]

About the marriage stability thingy, as I mentioned in my first post, there seems to be this "society control" in marriages among relatives.

So, the couple were forced to reconcile their differences (even when there was adultery / alcohalism and such problems).

While such patch-works typically led a lot to suppression of women, there were some advantages for women as well - they could go to a relative and arm-twist the husband (e.g. boy's parents) in most cases (which is practically non-existent in case of non-relative marriage).

[PARAMASHIVAN]

About the marriage stability thingy, as I mentioned in my first post, there seems to be this "society control" in marriages among relatives.

So, the couple were forced to reconcile their differences (even when there was adultery / alcohalism and such problems).

While such patch-works typically led a lot to suppression of women, there were some advantages for women as well - they could go to a relative and arm-twist the husband (e.g. boy's parents) in most cases (which is practically non-existent in case of non-relative marriage).

very true!

[dev]

scientific reasons thaan kaaranam

Can you list out what exactly are they? (Including the 'genetic disorder' thingy that I briefly mentioned about)

App_engine, if u r interested to know about it, you can easily do a google search..."consanguineous marriage"nu potu search panni paarunga... I too know of people getting married to close cousins and nothing abnormal... But personally, I wouldn't take the risk unless I am madly in love with a close cousin... ;) anyway, ini adhukku chanceum illai... :lol:

[Bipolar]

Well... here (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10085741?itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed _ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum&ordinalpos=187)'s a link that I posted some time ago - the findings from a study that looked at the "mate selection" or partner selection practices in Tamil Nadu, and tried to examine the biological outcomes/consequences...

Clearly, some of the older (and presumably more conservative) 'Hubbers are sceptical of the idea that it is better to marry someone who is not genetically related to you...

I still say biological (as well as social) outcomes would be much better if there was fair and open competition - men should actively compete, fairly, directly, against each other, to win a woman's affections. A man should prove, to the woman of his choice, that he has what it takes to be a good husband to her, that he can give her healthy children, that he can be a good father to their children, and the final decision should be up to the woman herself...

It's more fun when a woman captures your heart, and you have to woo her/court her - be a man, and win her affections - rather than your parents having to do the talking for you!!! It's more fun when you actually earn something, rather than if your parents buy it for you!!!

Matches made by parents/elders are just totally unromantic - there's no romance there!

Where's the magic in marrying someone who marries me not because she genuinely feels that I am the one for her, but rather because her parents tell her to marry me because we have "astrological" and "community" compatibility?

That's why we've made such little progress - we lack imagination - our "age-old traditions" basically perpetuate themselves, not because they are logically sound, but because we've made no meaningful effort to challenge outdated conventions!

[pavalamani pragasam]

:rotfl3: How hilarious are your misconceptions about 'romance', bipolar! Was it really unromantic, after all? :pink:

[Ramona]

Britain was trying over a decade ago to out-law arrange marriage. How far did they get with that? Part of it was to rid incestuous marriages or unreal marriages where Immigration Laws were abused.

Bipolar, how many Indian movies have you seen? What about those of late?

[Bipolar]

Britain was trying over a decade ago to out-law arrange marriage. How far did they get with that?
Glad you mentioned that. To be honest, I'm not really sure, but I don't think they got very far. However, I would really be happy if the relevant authorities would renew their efforts to discourage the practice of arranged marriages within South Asian immigrant communities here in the UK. I mean, for example, many years ago, there was talk of introducing rules to prevent UK citizens from marrying foreign nationals unless they had lived in the UK for at least two and a half years (or something like that - I don't quite remember the exact details). I don't know if those rules are actually in force now, but I really feel it is/was a good idea - it would prevent parents/elders from forcing/persuading/manipulating their children into an "arranged" marriage/relationship with someone from a different cultural background (if I was going to have an arranged marriage, I would prefer that my bride was at least similar to me in the respect that she came from a social and cultural environment similar to my own, i.e., an "NRI").

As for the argument that parents always want what is best for their children, and that they would never force their children into a marriage against their wishes, well, incidentally, if my parents were to tell me to marry someone of their choice, I think I'd find it hard to say no. I mean, it's not that I'm afraid of my parents, but sometimes I find it really hard to explain to them that I don't share their point(s) of view, because, quite often, they seem to take these things personally. In fact, sometimes, I'm not even sure I know what I want/need myself, but I still don't feel that my parents can always make the right decisions for me.

But my parents' beliefs and attitudes are products of the cultural environment where they grew up, which is why I feel the need to try and voice my opinions to try and change wider attitudes within South Indian society (of course, I'm probably achieving nothing by ranting here on ForumHub, still, I just feel the need to vent my frustration somewhere, and this is not a bad place to do it! After all, people come here to discuss and debate thoughts and ideas, and I hope people don't take disagreements/criticisms personally!).

On the whole, the social and cultural norms within South Indian communities are strongly biased in favour of intra-community cohesion, at the expense of individual self-expression. But whatever the supposed short-term "benefits" of arranged marriages (and other such practices) may be, in the long-term, it has held us back, and will continue to do so, unless we make careful and considered efforts to suitably and appropriately modify our attitudes, norms and practices.

Incidentally, regarding abuse of immigration laws, well, unfortunately, there will always be people who will find loopholes in the system that they can exploit.

And incidentally, I am myself the product of a consanguineous marriage. I'm reasonably healthy, and I'm reasonably intelligent. Still, when John Abraham and Bipasha Basu have children, they're going to be far more beautiful than me. Or Jude Law and Sienna Miller. Or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Or David and Victoria Beckham. Or Abishek and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

[app_engine]

Bipolar,

I guess this thread is to focus on the benefits / troubles of marriages between "relatives" (and not about arranged v/s love marriages, for which there's another thread).

It would be better if we discuss the medical / social effects of aththai makan / mAman makaL (& the otherwise) marriages and keep the arranged / love ones away :-)

AFAIK, there are tons of 'love' marriages between cousins :-)

[Ramona]

Perhaps a redirection would be to consider why members in the Monarchy marry within, but from time to time find the need to bring fresh blood in - to marry outside.

Some links:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_monarchy,_(marriage_and_family)

http://www.theroyalarticles.com/articles/25/1/Marriage-between-Royals-and-Commoners-Happy-Ending-or-Nightmare/Page1.html

http://weuropeanhistory.suite101.com/article.cfm/european_monarchy_and_the_rules_of_marriage

Some understanding too as to why Princess Diana was "used".

[RAGHAVENDRA]

விரும்புகிறோமோ இல்லையோ, ஒரே ஜாதி, ஒரே இனம், ஒரே மொழி இவற்றை வைத்து நடத்தப் படும் பெரும்பாலான திருமணங்கள் எங்கு சுற்றி வந்தாலும் எப்படிப் பார்த்தாலும் இறுதியில் உறவு முறையில் வைத்து தான் முடிவடையும். தந்தை வழி உறவு முறையில் பங்காளி என்பதால் அந்தக் கோத்திரத்தைத் தவிர்த்து தான் திருமண பந்தங்கள் அமைகின்றன. நாம் பல திருமண மண்டபங்களில் பார்த்திருக்கலாம், ஒருவரையொருவர் புதியதாக அறிமுகப் படுத்திக்கொள்ளும் போது பெண் வீட்டாரும் பிள்ளை வீட்டாரும் தத்தம் உறவுமுறைகளைப் பகிரந்து கொள்ளுவதையும் சொந்தம் கொண்டாடிக் கொள்வதையும் நாம் பல முறை பார்த்த விஷயங்களே. அப்படிப் பார்த்தால் தெரிந்தோ தெரியாமலோ நாம் உறவு முறை திருமணங்களைத் தான் ARRANGED MARRIAGE முறையில் சந்திக்க நேரிடும்.

அதே சமயம் மானிட வியல் அறிஞர்கள் பலர் நடத்திய பல ஆய்வுகளில் Social Anthropology and Physical Anthropology உறவு முறைத் திருமணங்களில் குறிப்பாக - நெருங்கிய உறவு முறைத் திருமணங்களில் - IMMEDIATE CROSS COUSINS - நிச்சயம் மரபணு அல்லது ஜீன்கள் எனப்படும் வகையிலான அறிவியல் ஆய்வின் முடிவுகள் சுட்டிக் காட்டக் கூடிய பல முடிவுகள் இத்தகைய திருமணங்கள் தவிர்க்கப் பட வேண்டும் என்பதே. இத்தகைய ஆய்வுகள் யாவையும் அத்தகைய சொந்தத்திலான திருமண பந்தங்களை வைத்து நடத்தியவையாகும். BASED ON SAMPLES STUDIED.

ராகவேந்திரன்

[app_engine]

RAGHAVENDRA,
anthropology etc didn't conduct studies in my dad's village :-)

Where have they conducted this study exactly and what were the results? How were they statistically analyzed / genetically graphed out?

I think some smart man who hated such marriages (possibly a personal pressure to marry a girl he disliked) devised out high tech terminology to discourage :-)

[pavalamani pragasam]

:lol:

[Ramona]

For those who claim that we all came from Adam and Eve, its mind boggling as to why marriage within relations should be a problem. Why should there be a defect in the lineage?

[rajraj]

RAGHAVENDRA,
anthropology etc didn't conduct studies in my dad's village :-)

Where have they conducted this study exactly and what were the results? How were they statistically analyzed / genetically graphed out?

I think some smart man who hated such marriages (possibly a personal pressure to marry a girl he disliked) devised out high tech terminology to discourage :-)

Just search with the phrse 'in breeding'. You will find a few links which talk about low IQ and genetic defects! In the US many states have laws against first cousins marrying. A community associated with Chidambaram temple is known for in breeding and the effect can be seen if you visit the temple. Because this is a very sentitive issue not many anthropologists and sociologist are willing to launch a large scale data collection.

[jinju]

gud one params...

there was a bro/sis in our class in school who had some kind of skin disease which made them look 'like foreigners' :) ! Murmurs among friends that 'their parents are relatives, so some birth defect' made many of us treat them as sort of outcasts for a long time till our 'knowledge' improved :D !

whatever the scientific explanation, this 'genetic disorder/problem' thing was imprinted somewhere in my mind's corner for long, until i came across my in-laws...almost 3-4 of them have married their cousins/relatives(my wife's parents too r second cousins!).....in the beginning, i used to jokingly tease my wife about this "same family" marriage thing, but as years passed by in interaction with them, it's been a pleasant surprise to me how these guys sort out even their smallest problems by sharing with each other...yes they exist as scattered nuclear families as most of us do in today's age, but one issue between any couple/family have all of them coming together and dissing it out unlike many isolated families that i see around me...a case like app_engine mentioned (girl approaching the guy's family coz of issues n they all coming together, in fact supporting the girl, and talking to the boy too happened recently!) and it was a sort of eye opener for me...

it's so lovely to see the camaraderie between them, especially when any one of them is in the slightest trouble (families coming together for marriage, birthday functions with plastic smiles is cliche by now :) !) makes me think that this should be a practice rather than aberration in today's troubled times! it's something like the first half of Cheran's 'Pirivom Santhippom' when i see all of them together, and i cherish all these moments sometimes just watching them all together, me myself being a by-product of a large but scattered family full of 8-9 uncles/aunts and double the number of cousins but hardly meeting once in a year or so :cry: ...so y not, if it works for u :thumbsup: !

[pavalamani pragasam]

:2thumbsup:

[Ramona]

Health problems:

http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/news/breaking-news/20418-Marrying-Blood-Relation-Causes-Infertility-Health-Problems-Study.html

[Bipolar]

Consanguineous marriages are only one part of a bigger picture. I am not suggesting that we can solve all of our problems just by stopping such unions. Yes of course, there are many other things we have to change. But as was quite rightly pointed out, this is a thread to talk about whether or not "cousin marriages" are a good idea. And my (humble) opinion - no.

Just consider - a family with short, bald, pot-bellied men, and short, fat women - although hopefully not bald - with a family history of heart disease, diabetes and hyperlipidaemia - if they marry among themselves - for several generations - they're not going to produce any sportsmen/sportswomen or supermodels.

Take that to the whole population level, and you'll understand why we have produced no Olympic medal-winners, and why we have to "import" many of our film-stars/starlets/models from elsewhere.


AFAIK, there are tons of 'love' marriages between cousins :-)
Well, marriages between cousins, regardless of whether they are "love" marriages or "arranged" marriages, are not advisable. Even "love" marriages between cousins only happen because we have a culture that allows (and maybe even encourages) such unions in the first place.

Yes, may be we don't see many obvious "genetic defects" - i.e., maybe we don't see many people with major disabilities - but on a whole population level, I think the South Indian (particularly Tamil Nadu) population is less healthy than many other populations. Of course, there are numerous reasons for this - e.g. nutritional factors, environmental factors such as pollution, contamination of water sources/reservoirs, comparatively high prevalence of infectious diseases (due to poor public hygiene, poor sanitation, infectious disease vectors like mice, rats, mosquitoes, flies, etc., a generally warm and wet climate), poor self-care (at least among some sections of the population), lack of awareness/availability of simple healthcare measures/facilities (due to poverty, illiteracy, etc.). Yes of course, the issue of consaguineous marriages/reproduction is only one part of a bigger picture.

There are good reasons why some physical characteristics are generally considered attractive, e.g. tall, athletic, well-built men are generally regarded as attractive (doesn't every twenty-something woman hope for a Vinay Rai, R Madhavan or Mark Webber?), curvaceous women are generally regarded as attractive :D (most twenty-something lads would hope for an Asin, Shreya Saran or Cheryl Cole/Tweedy), people with long flowing locks/tresses of hair are regarded as attractive, clear skin (whether light or dark doesn't matter, as long as they are smooth and not scarred/pock-marked), well-defined, symmetrical facial features - generally these are signs of good health, good genes. If we tried to give more importance to these factors when picking partners/matches, then I think that would go some way towards improving the average physical constitution within the population.

And variety makes us richer. A wider gene pool gives us more to pick from. Consider the concept of hybrid vigour (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosis).

Even though the detrimental effects of consanguineous marriages may not be immediately obvious, we are definitely "losing out" by allowing and even encouraging such unions.

The argument that "cousin" marriages lead to stronger family ties is a very weak argument. Superficially it may appear to be true, however, should we really try to "save" weak/unhappy/failing marriages at all costs? Is it not a good idea to try and understand first what the requirements/prerequisites for a happy relationship are? Can two people from different families/backgrounds not have a happy marriage? Of course, what makes a happy marriage - that is a totally different discussion, and we would need a different thread for that discussion. The idea that family "unity" should always take precedence over individual personal fulfillment/well-being is a weak one. I am not suggesting that people should feel free to abandon their responsibilities/duties/obligations towards their siblings, parents and elders. But the fact is, times are changing, lifestyles are changing, and there are many issues to be taken into consideration when we decide how we grow/expand our families. We can change our customs and traditions without abandoning the core values of familial support, love, affection, and inter-dependence.

[Ramona]

Not only what and how you write, but your very name suggest it and much more. I know! :?: :idea:

[PARAMASHIVAN]

gud one params...


:ty:
It looks like the health problems are being discussed here more than 'Moral' values of such bondage. I have seen a many families living 'fight free' married life, who has married their cousins. I have also noticed that divorce rate amongst such couples were extremely low!

[Kambar_Kannagi]

வோடட் 4 'யெஸ்'

[P_R]

As the Master most recently said: Whatever Works

[Plum]

Had a very close friend marrying her immediate cousin - as in Chithi paiyan. They are happy with a 3 year old son(touchewood!). Whatever works dhAn!

[P_R]

touchewood :lol:

Khap-nu panchAyathula koNdu vandhu niruthalaiyA?

[Plum]

காப்பு panchAyat, thankfully, doesnt exist in Chennai!

[Kambar_Kannagi]

Had a very close friend marrying her immediate cousin - as in Chithi paiyan. They are happy with a 3 year old son(touchewood!). Whatever works dhAn!

Just curious. Is the kid normal?

P.S Sorry if this question offends. :oops:

[Plum]

k_K - I dont want to answer that question especially given the jinxing reputation of my posts in this forum. hope you understand.

[PARAMASHIVAN]

k_K - I dont want to answer that question especially given the jinxing reputation of my posts in this forum. hope you understand. :roll:

[RAGHAVENDRA]

Indiaparenting.com, in one of its pages has posted questions on Consanguineous marriages with replies from medical practitioners/ specialists.

http://www.indiaparenting.com/faqs/planningababy/marriage_cousins.shtml

Raghavendran

[Ramona]

k_K - I dont want to answer that question especially given the jinxing reputation of my posts in this forum. hope you understand.

:lol: :wink:

[Fridge]

My Parents are cousins and i am pretty normal...at least most of the times:)

[pavalamani pragasam]

Fridge, I am in the same boat!:-D

[Fridge]

Hi Pavalamani.. Yes my mum married her aither's son, her fathers sisters Son.. infact most of my aunts and uncles married their first cousins. According to relatives one is only allowed to marry after a word called 'MORA' has been properly checked out.. I have loads of cousins who have all turned out fine. I guess the positive part of it all is that one's mother-in-law is not exactly a stranger and you know how she ticks:)

[pavalamani pragasam]

:exactly:

[NOV]

Fridge, father's sister's son is SECOND cousin
So is mother's brother's child

in thamizh we call our first cousins as anne/akkaa
first cousins are father's brother's children
and mother's sister's children
there is no inter-marriage between first cousins

[pavalamani pragasam]

NOV, a confusing description of first cousins!!! Hindus do not marry 2 brothers; or 2 sisters' children, but brother and sister' children is quite OK. Only brothers' children (and sisters'children) call each other anne akka; children of brother and sister have other terms like anni/mathini and machan/maappilLai! So 'muRaippadi' OK!!!

[app_engine]

total confusion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin)

I think aththai (appA's sister's) makaL / ammAn (thAi mAman) makaL are also "first cousins" going by the wiki definition.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Of course!

[groucho070]

total confusion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin)

I think aththai (appA's sister's) makaL / ammAn (thAi mAman) makaL are also "first cousins" going by the wiki definition.I actually follow this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:CousinTree.svg).

My younger brother married my mAmA (mom's eldest brother) daughter. Got baby, except for occasional flu/fever and extreme vAyee (cute-way), she's fine :smile:

[NOV]

Hindus do not marry 2 brothers; or 2 sisters' children, but brother and sister' children is quite OK. Only brothers' children (and sisters'children) call each other anne akka; That is exactly what I said

Let me give an example:

Kalyani, Balan, Meenatchi and Murugan are brothers and sisters

First cousins
Kalyani's children are anne/akka to Meenatchi's children and vice versa
Balan's children are anne/akka to Murugan's children and vice versa

Second cousins
Murai is between Kalyaani's children and Balan/Murugan's children
Also Meenatchi's children and Balan/Murugan's children

[Shakthiprabha]

hi fridge, wb :)

[P_R]

Fridge, father's sister's son is SECOND cousin
So is mother's brother's child

in thamizh we call our first cousins as anne/akkaa
first cousins are father's brother's children
and mother's sister's children
there is no inter-marriage between first cousins

No no. 1st,2nd cousin definition doesn't depend on maternal/paternal

First cousins are people who one set of common grandparents.
Seconds cousins are people who one set of common great-grandparents. (or to put it Visuy style: one parent each of second cousins are first cousins)

[pavalamani pragasam]

:exactly:NOV's definition/understanding of 1st cousin is incorrect! All the children of Kalyani, Balan, Meenatchi and Murugan are 1st cousins; children of Balan and Murugan do not marry each other just as children of Meenatchi and Kalyani do not marry each other. But children of Balan and Murugan can very well marry the children of Kalyani and Meenatchi. No confusion at all about this- a practice which is centuries old! Another consanguinous marriage is a brother marrying his sister's daughter- muRai maaman. This also happens till this day.

[rsubras]

Fridge, father's sister's son is SECOND cousin
So is mother's brother's child

in thamizh we call our first cousins as anne/akkaa
first cousins are father's brother's children
and mother's sister's children
there is no inter-marriage between first cousins.

NOV, neenga literal ah sollirukeenga ninaikkaren :) like Amma's sister's children um Appa's brother's children um in general close ah move panrathunala avanga first cousins, but the other way Appa's sister and Amma's brother ivangaloda children marriage murai varungrathunala, plus nathanar / sakalai sandai ku opportunity irukkarathunala avvalava pazhaga maatanga (pazhaga vida maatanga ;)) avangala second cousin nu solreenga pola

Anyway that was a good light hearted remark from you :)

[rsubras]

coming to this topic, actualy my father and mother are cousins (athai magan, mama magal) and my grandfather and grandmother (amma's parents) are cousins as well...... athunalayo ennamo my elder sister developed congenital heart defect (problem in blood vessel that seperates bad and good blood) :( and she parted from us at the age of 14 itself :(... athukkaga inter relation marriage eh dangerous nu naan sollala...but in general jaathaga porutham paarkumbothu, konjam blood and other genes poruthamum paarthuttu, risk factors ah analyze pannitu kalyanam pannikarathu nallathu.......

[PARAMASHIVAN]

My Parents are cousins and i am pretty normal...at least most of the times:)

Fridge :shock: romba naalaiku appurum :)

[Fridge]

@ Shakthiprabha. Hey nice to chat with you again. been busy kids etc.
@ Paramashivan: Yes it has been a while...I still find the site very good. What Does your name mean?.. 'Param' is god right and Shivan..Shiva?

[Fridge]

Rsubras: Sorry about your sister... do you know if there are stats(of defects from blood relations) taken in India that shows the danger?

Does anyone know why people started with marrying relatives....I always joked with my mum that she never left the house much:) but a large number of relatives married this way..in My mum's time it was not forced, the seemed to have just fallen for their cousins

[pavalamani pragasam]

The main reason for starting to marry within related families is, perhaps, to avoid family wealth from going out of the family!!!

[chinnakkannan]

மீராவின் கவிதை தான் நினைவுக்குவருகிறது:

உன்க்கும் என்க்கும் ஒரே ஊர்
வாசுதேவ் நல்லூர்
உன் த்ந்தையும் என் தந்தையும் உற்வின் முறை
ஒன்று விட்ட அத்தை மகன்கள்..
நாமிருவரும் ஒரே ஜாதி
திருநெல்வேலி சைவப் பிள்ளைமார்

ஆகவே
அன்புடை நெஞ்சம்
தான் கலந்தனவே

[PARAMASHIVAN]

@ Paramashivan: Yes it has been a while...I still find the site very good. What Does your name mean?.. 'Param' is god right and Shivan..Shiva?

Yes, :) good to see you back :)