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MADDY
9th September 2010, 10:17 AM
[tscii:fc429faf69]If

The ambience was great – the bar was dimly but positively lit. Green chandeliers decorated the ceiling. 8 by 4 foot wooden tables gave a retro touch to the place. 6 foot long glass windows all around with push up curtains half pulled up, gave a good view of Chennai’s night traffic. The headlights of bikes and cars glittered on window which acted like a prism. My blue shirt, golden color imported beer, greenish lights, grayish smoke billowing from next table – made a lovely rainbow. I love this place, no wonder am a frequent flyer here.

I took a sip from my bottle and “so, is the girl telugu speaking or telangana speaking” with a chuckle to Lokesh.
Lokesh “re, there is only one Andhra. Yea, she is from Hyderabad”
I “oh, same caste only right??”
Lokesh “ofcourse, if not, my family wouldn’t have proceed no”
I “Dowry evalavu – 50 lakhsa, haha”
Lokesh “we don’t have dowry system in our family, infact entire village da”
I “ok, I believed it” with a grin. I stepped into 4th bottle daringly, without my knowledge though.
Lokesh “if you find her in your company database no – please collect her details da. My mother wants your comments first”
I “hello boss, my company has 2 lakh employees with 24 Gayathris alone –“
Lokesh “her name is samrudhi, Samrudhi Thopucherla”
I “haan, let me check and let you know. Hey tomorrow, there is a function in my house, come by 9AM”
Lokesh “kaadhu ra, if I come no, your grandma wont like it”
I “come on, im a very liberal guy, I don’t believe in caste”
Lokesh “Mr. Liberal, please pay the bill”
I “Aama nee ennaikku da pay pannirukka. You get salary or not?”
Lokesh “yea, but not even half of what you amass in software company by just scratching the seat”. Working in central govt. job is the unlimited coupon he has acquired. This works in all hotels, restaurants, bars, railways/bus tickets, when im around…….Argh
After swiping my credit card over the Citibank card reader, I “chal, ceeya”
Lokesh pulled my hand and said “dei, I really like her da, if possible, please give me good news only da”. I smiled.

Then

Shouting “ayyo” I got up from my bed with a jerk. Time was flashing 12:30AM in the digital clock on my plush bed. My head was spinning and stomach was rumbling due to the alcohol. I didn’t exactly remember the name, Lokesh had said. Normally, I’m pretty stable when I drink, I have attended lectures too in my engineering college after 3-4 bottles of beer, but yesterday night was unusually strong. Original sarakku pola. It cant be true, was it samrudhi, he said. There is a samrudhi in my team only – ah, world cannot be so small, after all. I switched on my laptop from my duckback and kept it on the table and wore my round spectacles. With both hands on cheeks in anticipation, I connected to internet through wi-fi router and then to my company network. I cleared the “to-do” pop-up from my screen and searched for samrudhi name in company’s outlook gallery and found 6 results. And then I saw “Thopucherla” – and I vaguely rememberd Loki having said this phrase or rather surname. I clicked on it, it was indeed the girl from my team – my goodness.

Samrudhi had joined us as junior programmer in march 2009. She is a top rater and is a very smart person. But hold, I have seen her going to lunch, tea, snack, walk, garden, recreation breaks with Anil, senior programmer from my team. I have even seen them holding hands once in garden – ah. There is a rumor that they are going around but is it love? I didn’t know what to tell Lokesh, i couldn’t sleep the entire night. I waited till the morning sun’s rays hit my window panes. My house was buzzing with activity with usual festive fervor. My mom clad in silk sari was oscillating around the house mumbling mantras and depositing/withdrawing items from pooja spot. The priest was coughing up mantras in front of god’s photo splashed generously with turmeric and kumkum. My cousin sisters and brothers were clad in bright silk saris and silk dhotis(without shirt ofcourse) glancing anxiously across the clock and prasadhams. I pulled my cousin Gayathri, my best friend, aside. I vomited the entire situation to Gayathri, “its great to see you talk about girls and friends instead of oracle and SQL , hahaha”.
I “gayathri, he is my school time friend; I don’t want to misguide him by suggesting a girl who is in love with someone else. At the same time, I don’t want my friend to miss a girl like Samrudhi, u know what I mean. Also, Lokesh’s mom has a big mouth, need to be careful about this”.
Gayathri “That’s not your problem da. What kind of guy is your friend? Cant he talk to the girl directly and get her details? Also, going for breaks together, holding hands in park and all is not love – come on, welcome to 2010 mr. iyer” haha
I “so what do I tell him, so confused”
Gayathri “hmmm. Btw, how is this girl, Samrudhi?"
I "Samrudhi is very well behaved girl, in the sense, she is good, I mean she works very professionally and is very beautiful too, yea, isn’t she?" Damn, why didnt i notice this before . I always concentrate on working with the underperformers in the team. “Underperformers’ mentor”, that’s me, a consolation post given to a top rater for not getting team lead position, which went to my manager’s cousin sister. Wow, samrudhi, why didn’t I see you before, well ah. But who is this Anil guy – is he her lover? Ah, cant be – but why should I bother, im not going to marry her, or errr. What exactly should I tell Loki, then?. Then, hmmm

Else

Tara, sipping the vending machine tea, asked “are you going to tell ok to that alliance?”
Samrudhi “no way, im not yet ready for marriage. My dad wants this to happen, since they have worked together in clinching a couple of business deals”
Tara “this one will be their third successful deal? Hahaha”
Samrudhi “hahaha yea, the guys works in a central govt. job but even that’s not a issue”
Tara with a grin “Then, Anil?”
Samrudhi “ah come on, how is he related to this”
Tara “Then whats going on between you 2, ahn? “
Samrudhi “are you interested in a detailed definition of our relationship? ”
Tara “ok ok, I wouldn’t need to know”
Samrudhi “good. You know what, the only guy I liked in this office was Suresh”
Tara with shock, “you mean Suresh Iyer, don’t kid me”
Samrudhi “yea, I really liked the way he carried himself and the way he organized himself. He didn’t change even when he was not given Team lead role – I like such guys, you know. They stick”
Tara “so what was the problem?”
Samrudhi “well, as such none, but I didn’t know how he would react if I had approached him. I felt he was a bit caste conscious – with his brahmin accent and always adjusting the “thread” like adjusting the bra. Hahaha”
Tara “haha”
Samrudhi “I felt, he wouldn’t stand for a inter-caste marriage and stuff, u know”
Just then, Suresh, in his sleek blue shirt and black trousers passed their table. Tara waved to him “hey Suresh, the shirt is good on you”
Suresh “hey thanks”
Samrudhi “leaving for the day?”
Suresh “yea, have to meet my old friend. Haven’t met him in 10 yrs, so leaving early”. He walked off adjusting his “poonal”.
Samrudhi had her eyes fixed on his back. Tara “enna feelings-a??”.
Samrudhi “nah, nothing”
Tara with a grin "are you sure?"[/tscii:fc429faf69]

Dinesh84
9th September 2010, 11:02 AM
[tscii:e841d370b8]good one Maddy! :clap:

Logu paavam :(



“so, is the girl telugu speaking or telangana speaking”

“re, there is only one Andhra. Yea, she is from Hyderabad”
:lol2:


Original sarakku pola. :lol:[/tscii:e841d370b8]

MADDY
9th September 2010, 01:14 PM
[tscii:b6d9d9442e]good one Maddy! :clap:

Logu paavam :(



“so, is the girl telugu speaking or telangana speaking”

“re, there is only one Andhra. Yea, she is from Hyderabad”
:lol2:


Original sarakku pola. :lol:[/tscii:b6d9d9442e]

hey thanks Dinesh :D ......even Suresh is paavam, he doesent realise that the girl is already interested in him :)

19thmay
9th September 2010, 03:23 PM
Good work Maddy! :lol:

Not sure, I am reading Suresh as Sudhir... :P

ajaybaskar
9th September 2010, 04:02 PM
Good one, buddy!!! Keep writing!!

MADDY
9th September 2010, 07:05 PM
Good work Maddy! :lol:

Not sure, I am reading Suresh as Sudhir... :P

thanks sridhar :D

no sudhir is not the suresh in the story - though personal experiences of sudhir has been put in the story :)

MADDY
9th September 2010, 07:05 PM
Good one, buddy!!! Keep writing!!

thanks sir :D

raghavendran
9th September 2010, 10:02 PM
brilliant sudhir...
the dialouges r so natural..its exactly like actual conversations..
idhe post panne yen ivvolo neram..sollunge? :P

sathya_1979
10th September 2010, 12:34 PM
brilliant sudhir...
the dialouges r so natural..its exactly like actual conversations..
idhe post panne yen ivvolo neram..sollunge? :P
sondha kadhai pOdalaama vENaamaanu yOsichiruppaar!
Very nice one Maddy!

sathya_1979
10th September 2010, 12:36 PM
What wud be the title of the next story?
for.....next?

venkkiram
11th September 2010, 09:27 AM
Liked very much the whole plot.. Good narration Maddy. Keep writing..

MADDY
11th September 2010, 11:40 AM
brilliant sudhir...
the dialouges r so natural..its exactly like actual conversations..
idhe post panne yen ivvolo neram..sollunge? :P

thanks man :D ......yea tried to make the dialogues as natural as possible, because the sequences were superficial :D

MADDY
11th September 2010, 11:46 AM
brilliant sudhir...
the dialouges r so natural..its exactly like actual conversations..
idhe post panne yen ivvolo neram..sollunge? :P
sondha kadhai pOdalaama vENaamaanu yOsichiruppaar!
Very nice one Maddy!

hehee :D .......adhellam illa - its not my story...... :lol:


What wud be the title of the next story? for.....next?

:lol: nah, i would want to write something not related to IT or its people :D

MADDY
11th September 2010, 11:46 AM
Liked very much the whole plot.. Good narration Maddy. Keep writing..

sure sir and thanks for ur encouragement :D

Ramakrishna
11th September 2010, 08:40 PM
Maddy, very good. Keep writing.

Querida
12th September 2010, 03:07 AM
[tscii:d78d3a9969]Hey Maddy,

I really liked the way your framed your story, it had a good flow and was believable :) Keep on writing! Poor Lokesh...nice work with the points on caste and work politics.


“Mr. Liberal, please pay the bill” :D


I liked your whole description about the preparations for the festivities at the house, especially:


The priest was coughing up mantras


My cousin sisters and brothers were clad in bright silk saris and silk dhotis(without shirt ofcourse) glancing anxiously across the clock and prasadhams.

Just to clarify:

a little language barrier:
“chal, ceeya”
means like "let's go?"



I switched on my laptop from my duckback
what's a duckback?


“hmmm. Btw, how is this girl, Samrudhi?" :P Hey in prose you got to write the whole phrase out mister!

Eh come on holding hands with a co-worker in a park is not seen as something more...hard to believe :think: :P[/tscii:d78d3a9969]

hub rap
12th September 2010, 10:28 PM
[tscii:0f523e38db]

Lokesh pulled my hand and said “dei, I really like her da, if possible, please give me good news only da”. I smiled.

Yeah man, pretty girls do have this effect on guys.



always adjusting the “thread” like adjusting the bra.

:)

I don't think i got the title :? [/tscii:0f523e38db]

MADDY
13th September 2010, 10:15 AM
[tscii]Hey Maddy,

I really liked the way your framed your story, it had a good flow and was believable :) Keep on writing! Poor Lokesh...nice work with the points on caste and work politics.


“Mr. Liberal, please pay the bill” :D

I liked your whole description about the preparations for the festivities at the house, especially:


The priest was coughing up mantras


My cousin sisters and brothers were clad in bright silk saris and silk dhotis(without shirt ofcourse) glancing anxiously across the clock and prasadhams.

thanks queri :D ......


Just to clarify:

a little language barrier:
“chal, ceeya”
means like "let's go?"

yes, chal translates to lets go in hindi - hindi is predominantly used in brahmin houses in TN.....




I switched on my laptop from my duckback
what's a duckback?

duckback is the special type of bags used to keep laptops :oops:



“hmmm. Btw, how is this girl, Samrudhi?" :P Hey in prose you got to write the whole phrase out mister!

hahaha - thought long about it and wanted to leave it that way.....will not do so, it does look out of place :D


Eh come on holding hands with a co-worker in a park is not seen as something more...hard to believe :think: :P

nowadays, we see a lot of physical proximity between friends of opposite sex but the answer we get is "no, its not love" - thats what i tried to inject in....... :D

MADDY
13th September 2010, 10:38 AM
[tscii:8b483bd61c]

Lokesh pulled my hand and said “dei, I really like her da, if possible, please give me good news only da”. I smiled.

Yeah man, pretty girls do have this effect on guys.



always adjusting the “thread” like adjusting the bra.

:)

I don't think i got the title :? [/tscii:8b483bd61c]

thanks hub rap sir :D

if lokesh wants opinion about samrudhi then suresh iyer has to find it for him but is stuck in a personal loop and cannot give a answer so the control moves to else where samrudhi herself bares her heart.....i hope it made some sense :D

i wanted the characters to be like the title of chapter themselves like lokesh being a pessimistic "if" guy, suresh being the guy who solves issues quickly,efficiently is the "then" guy but ignores beauties of life and samrudhi always throws up the never-thought of conditions in "else".......but it requires more skills to inject all these character nuances in a short story :D

Shakthiprabha
13th September 2010, 07:32 PM
Nice.. :)
ithulerunthu enna theriyuthunna...

Please talk for urself...atleast in crucial matters like these..NO PROXIES :D

famous "minsaara kanavu" taught the same lesson.. Sad that lokesh types never learn :sigh: :D

Querida
14th September 2010, 12:42 AM
i wanted the characters to be like the title of chapter themselves like lokesh being a pessimistic "if" guy, suresh being the guy who solves issues quickly,efficiently is the "then" guy but ignores beauties of life and samrudhi always throws up the never-thought of conditions in "else".......but it requires more skills to inject all these character nuances in a short story

:lol: Hey Maddy you have already shown your depth in skill, don't go putting down your efforts :clap:

hub rap
14th September 2010, 01:24 AM
thanks hub rap sir :D

:oops: :( :evil:
edhukku thanks-u? Actually, I forgot to appreciate in that post. I really liked the flow, Maddy.



i wanted the characters to be like the title of chapter themselves like lokesh being a pessimistic "if" guy, suresh being the guy who solves issues quickly,efficiently is the "then" guy but ignores beauties of life and samrudhi always throws up the never-thought of conditions in "else".......but it requires more skills to inject all these character nuances in a short story :D

If she would fall in love with me (optimistic 'if' guy)
then I would pass time with her (opportunistic 'then' guy)
else I'll live my usual life (ever-thought of 'else' condition) :P



Nice..
ithulerunthu enna theriyuthunna...

Please talk for urself...atleast in crucial matters like these..NO PROXIES

famous "minsaara kanavu" taught the same lesson.. Sad that lokesh types never learn
If Lokesh had talked himself, bulb vaangeernthiruppAn. :P Considering the surplus-boys situation, Sad that you underestimate the Lokesh types.

:idea:Pushiya thaththuvam: Boys send girls for cajoling and girls send boys for cajoling (ch-28)

MADDY
14th September 2010, 08:26 AM
thanks hub rap sir :D

:oops: :( :evil:
edhukku thanks-u? Actually, I forgot to appreciate in that post. I really liked the flow, Maddy.

thanks :D



i wanted the characters to be like the title of chapter themselves like lokesh being a pessimistic "if" guy, suresh being the guy who solves issues quickly,efficiently is the "then" guy but ignores beauties of life and samrudhi always throws up the never-thought of conditions in "else".......but it requires more skills to inject all these character nuances in a short story :D

If she would fall in love with me (optimistic 'if' guy)
then I would pass time with her (opportunistic 'then' guy)
else I'll live my usual life (ever-thought of 'else' condition) :P

haha, both the boys in the story are naive, they are not smart enough....



Nice..
ithulerunthu enna theriyuthunna...

Please talk for urself...atleast in crucial matters like these..NO PROXIES

famous "minsaara kanavu" taught the same lesson.. Sad that lokesh types never learn
If Lokesh had talked himself, bulb vaangeernthiruppAn. :P Considering the surplus-boys situation, Sad that you underestimate the Lokesh types.

:idea:Pushiya thaththuvam: Boys send girls for cajoling and girls send boys for cajoling (ch-28)

:lol:

MADDY
14th September 2010, 08:28 AM
i wanted the characters to be like the title of chapter themselves like lokesh being a pessimistic "if" guy, suresh being the guy who solves issues quickly,efficiently is the "then" guy but ignores beauties of life and samrudhi always throws up the never-thought of conditions in "else".......but it requires more skills to inject all these character nuances in a short story

:lol: Hey Maddy you have already shown your depth in skill, don't go putting down your efforts :clap:

hey thanks Queri, i really feel good about your comments :D

MADDY
14th September 2010, 08:30 AM
Nice.. :)
ithulerunthu enna theriyuthunna...

Please talk for urself...atleast in crucial matters like these..NO PROXIES :D

famous "minsaara kanavu" taught the same lesson.. Sad that lokesh types never learn :sigh: :D

thanks Shakthi akka :D

lokesh was just asking for opinion, he didnt want suresh to convince her or anything :)

AudazJay
14th September 2010, 08:59 AM
[tscii:41535fa295]Good one Maddy! Enjoyed the whole narration! Maniratnam touch dialogue-il theriyuthe- absolutely crisp, candid and direct to the point :notworthy:

A small pointer though:-


Lokesh “re, there is only one Andhra. Yea, she is from Hyderabad”
I “oh, same caste only right??”
Lokesh “ofcourse, if not, my family wouldn’t have proceed no”
I “Dowry evalavu – 50 lakhsa, haha”

In dialogue writing, it would be more appropriate to state "I said", "Lokesh answered" etc instead of just stating the speaker's name, followed by the dialogues. Nevertheless, your point was clear enough for the readers :D

It was good that you never mentioned the protagonist's name until the "Else" chapter. And it was even more refreshing that there weren't any detailed references made to show that the protagonist and Suresh Iyer are the same person. It proves that you're not underestimating your readers' intelligence. :D

Once, again, good job Maddy. Do write more![/tscii:41535fa295]

Sarna
14th September 2010, 03:08 PM
Maddy, nice one :clap: :clap:

Plum
14th September 2010, 04:24 PM
[tscii:56e79182be]Good one Maddy.


Coughed up mantras
:lol: - infact, that is a deep sociological statement.

ofcourse, if not, my family wouldn’t have proceed no
"proceed" typo-vA? Deliberate-A? If deliberate, :bow: at your observation skills.[/tscii:56e79182be]

MADDY
14th September 2010, 06:46 PM
[tscii:bad3d41167]
Good one Maddy! Enjoyed the whole narration! Maniratnam touch dialogue-il theriyuthe- absolutely crisp, candid and direct to the point :notworthy:

hey thanks - feel touched with ur reference to Mani :D


A small pointer though:-


Lokesh “re, there is only one Andhra. Yea, she is from Hyderabad”
I “oh, same caste only right??”
Lokesh “ofcourse, if not, my family wouldn’t have proceed no”
I “Dowry evalavu – 50 lakhsa, haha”

In dialogue writing, it would be more appropriate to state "I said", "Lokesh answered" etc instead of just stating the speaker's name, followed by the dialogues. Nevertheless, your point was clear enough for the readers :D

yea, just wanted to conserve some space :lol:


It was good that you never mentioned the protagonist's name until the "Else" chapter. And it was even more refreshing that there weren't any detailed references made to show that the protagonist and Suresh Iyer are the same person. It proves that you're not underestimating your readers' intelligence. :D

Once, again, good job Maddy. Do write more!

feel really good abt ur comment - i feel i have expressed in writing what i had in mind -which is a big achievement for me :D [/tscii:bad3d41167]

MADDY
14th September 2010, 06:47 PM
Maddy, nice one :clap: :clap:

thanks sarna :D

MADDY
14th September 2010, 06:51 PM
[tscii:18943d9cc5]
Good one Maddy.

Thanks Plum :D



ofcourse, if not, my family wouldn’t have proceed no"proceed" typo-vA? Deliberate-A? If deliberate, :bow: at your observation skills.

i have couple of Andhra friends who speak like this :D[/tscii:18943d9cc5]

Sarna
14th September 2010, 06:57 PM
Maddy, nice one :clap: :clap:

thanks sarna :D

thaatha-peran-street dogs story... I remember reading long back... nice story written by you.... have u written anyother story ?

pavalamani pragasam
14th September 2010, 07:00 PM
Reflects the present scenario like a mirror! :sigh2:

raghavendran
14th September 2010, 07:02 PM
yes..again read it..so real
u rock..expect u to come up wid something outside the IT field..
:)

MADDY
14th September 2010, 09:05 PM
Maddy, nice one :clap: :clap:

thanks sarna :D

thaatha-peran-street dogs story... I remember reading long back... nice story written by you.... have u written anyother story ?

thanks :D

http://mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=10025&start=0
http://mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=10229&start=0
http://mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=9949&start=0
http://mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=10622&start=0

are stories i wrote...

MADDY
14th September 2010, 09:07 PM
Reflects the present scenario like a mirror! :sigh2:

thankyou, i'll take that as a great compliment :D

Ramakrishna
15th September 2010, 04:43 PM
Reflects the present scenario like a mirror! :sigh2:

thankyou, i'll take that as a great compliment :D

She says that also to highlight the message in your story. Shankar+Manirathnam :clap:

Sarna
15th September 2010, 04:56 PM
thanks maddy :) will read :)

MADDY
15th September 2010, 06:24 PM
Reflects the present scenario like a mirror! :sigh2:

thankyou, i'll take that as a great compliment :D

She says that also to highlight the message in your story. Shankar+Manirathnam :clap:

podhumpa :lol:


thanks maddy will read

:thumbsup: