Who is a friend or why do you consider someone a friend

[Ramona]

The basis of friendships - What do you do for a friend or what do you expect from a friend?

[pavalamani pragasam]

A person in whose company you feel relaxed, light, cheerful and confident.

[Ramona]

This topic might seem too simple, but you will be amazed of the different views of what friendship is.

PP says: A person in whose company you feel relaxed, light, cheerful and confident.

How about how that person feels about you?

[pavalamani pragasam]

If you are lucky the feeling will be mutual!

[app_engine]

உடுக்கை இழந்தவன் கைபோல ஆங்கே
இடுக்கண் களைவதாம் நட்பு (குறள்)

யாருக்குத்தான் வாழ்வில் இக்கட்டுகள் இல்லை? எப்போதெல்லாம் பாதை அடைக்கப்பட்டது போல உணருகிறோமோ அப்போதெல்லாம் ஒருத்தர் வந்து, கைமாறு கருதாமல் வழி திறந்து விடுவார் பாருங்கள் - அவருக்கு நம் மீது எந்த வித உணர்ச்சி இருந்தாலும் கவலை இல்லை - இரக்கமோ, பரிவோ, பரிதாபமோ என்னவென்றாலும் சரி - நமக்கு அவர் போல நண்பர் / உறவினர் வேறு யார்?

இது வெறுமனே "வரவு"க்கணக்காக இருக்காமல் "செலவு"க்கணக்காகவும் இருக்க வேண்டும் என்பது என் வாழ்வின் முன்னணிக்கொள்கைகளில் ஒன்று! (பொதுவாக வரவு ஒரிடம், செலவோ இன்னோரிடம் தான் நடக்கிறது - நன்றி மறப்பதில்லை என்றாலும்)

[thamiz]

The basis of friendships - What do you do for a friend or what do you expect from a friend?

I would listen, understand issues my friend has. I would expect the same from a friend when I have issues. Then depending on the issue she/he has, I will do my level best to help.

Are you listening? :roll:

[PARAMASHIVAN]

A friend in need is a friend indeed !

[ajaybaskar]

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

[PARAMASHIVAN]

Friendship example [ KARNAN] :notworthy:

[Ramona]

The basis of friendships - What do you do for a friend or what do you expect from a friend?

I would listen, understand issues my friend has. I would expect the same from a friend when I have issues. Then depending on the issue she/he has, I will do my level best to help.

Are you listening? :roll:

I can read here not listen. So what are your issues? :wink:

[pavalamani pragasam]

:lol:
Friendship readily available: across the counter!!!

[thamiz]

The basis of friendships - What do you do for a friend or what do you expect from a friend?

I would listen, understand issues my friend has. I would expect the same from a friend when I have issues. Then depending on the issue she/he has, I will do my level best to help.

Are you listening? :roll:

I can read here not listen. So what are your issues? :wink:

I dont want to get into discussing about MY issues in detail here as you are not my friend (no offense meant). People, in general have issues, problems. They need help as they cant deal with the issues by themselves often. I hope you know that. Dont you? :roll:

[Ramona]

del-

[Ramona]

The basis of friendships - What do you do for a friend or what do you expect from a friend?

I would listen, understand issues my friend has. I would expect the same from a friend when I have issues. Then depending on the issue she/he has, I will do my level best to help.

Are you listening? :roll:

I can read here not listen. So what are your issues?

I hope you know that. Dont you?

:roll:

[Thirumaran]

[html:e3111fee42]
http://i53.tinypic.com/2iafzps.png
[/html:e3111fee42]

[pavalamani pragasam]

:clap:

[app_engine]

அதாவது திருமாறனின் ஃப்ரெண்ட் =

1. கடவுள்

அல்லது

2. கனவில் மட்டுமே உள்ளவர் :-)

[Ramona]

A friend is one who is there through good times and bad times. It is the one who rushes to to assist you in times of need. But such friends are hard to find.

These are the people to always remember when the times are good. But how many of us do?

A friend is a fiend no matter what.

[Ramona]

http://i53.tinypic.com/2iafzps.png


:)

[AudazJay]

A friend is someone who listens to the words you say and understands the words you don't say.

You don't need to gives them excuses for your actions, they know why you did it anyway.

You need not worry about hurting them, they know that you never meant to anyway.

Most importantly, you need not worry if they would be there when you need them...it goes without saying, they're always there for you.

I had a couple of friends like that, V & R. I don't even remember when or how we met. I just knew that both of them have been in my life as long as I can remember.

A day doesn't go by without us fighting with each other. None of us would admit this, but the fact is, we don't fight because we have disagreements with one another, we fight because we just love doing it. It's just our way of showing affection with one another, I guess.

But more than the fight, it's the unspoken care and love that always seem to bring us closer. V comes from a broken family. Both his parents have divorced and married other people so he was basically shifting from one house to another depending on his parents' schedules. At times both his parents would be too busy to accommodate him that he would just pack his bags and stay in one of our houses. Ironically, the times he spent staying in our houses were also the our best time in our lives. We knew V was heart-broken but at that moment, we just let the problems to get out of our head and have a merry time joking and chatting as usual.

Going to different college and being in different faculties never changed our friendship. We still spent our time with one another the way we used to in the past. Even having different set of friends too didn't change our lives. We knew that no matter what, our friendship would surpass all the other relationships in our lives.

But fate has a different plan for us. It was a day before R's college graduation. I arrived the day before to accompany him and help him with all his last-minute preparations, while V promised to join us on that day. It was his step-mom's birthday the day before and his dad insisted that he had to be there to celebrate with them. "What am I to do man, I love to join you guys, but there are certain things which I have to suffer alone". Those were the words he said during the telephone conversation. Sadly, those were also the last words I heard him say. The next thing we heard was that he met in an accident on his way to R's college. He died on the spot.

Life was never the same after that moment. R was guilt-stricken. He thought all these happen because of him. If only he hadn't insisted on V being there, this accident wouldn't have taken place. V's father was totally inconsolable. "If only I hadn't insisted on him staying back for a day, he wouldn't have rushed and gone," he kept saying.

And me- I didn't have anyone to blame so I took the easier route, I blamed God...Why V? Why not the pedophile maniac who rapes and murders small kids? why not the snatch thief who murders defenseless women just to get a few extra money? Why V?

Of course there were no answers to those questions and I stopped asking them myself. R and I tried to lead our life as before but it was never the same without V. Soon after the incident, R left to Scotland for work purposes, or so he said. I knew better than that. R is my friend after all. He was merely finding an a route to escape his grief. I could have stopped him but something tells me that I shouldn't. The last I heard from R was about a month ago. He's doing well. He met a girl and they'll be tying the knot soon. We ended up talking about V but for the first time we found that we could talk about him without grief in our hearts. We talked about all the incidents that made V special to us. And we end up laughing thinking about the incidents and jokes that happened years ago. For the first time in my life, I slept peacefully that night.

It's not easy to get friend like R & V. Today, both of them are not beside me, but the memories of our friendship is more than enough for me.
:D

[pavalamani pragasam]

Very touching! Such warm feeling is one to be experienced to be believed. Not all have the luck!

[suba]

:)

party-na sarakku vaangi tharanum
panam venumna kadan tharanum
girl friendai kootitu poga vandi tharaunum
naama thappe senju irunthaalum nammathaan correct-nu sollanum

- ippadi ellaam iruntha, "nanbEnda..." enru azaikappaduvar...

:)

[pavalamani pragasam]

sirippathaa azuvathaa intha nijaththiRkaaga? :roll:

[Shekhar]

Hi,

A friend is someone whom I am happy to see, and who is happy to see me, anytime.

Please Note: This definition does not apply to the opposite sex !!! :D :D

[PARAMASHIVAN]

:shock:

welcome back man, after so many years :shock:

do you recognise me :roll:

[Shekhar]

Hi,
Nice to see someone still remembers me and welcomes me too :)

But I truly am sorry, cant place you yet.

I have been away for so long because I had an other crisis a year after my wife's demise. I had a massive brain haemorrage due to a doctor's blunder who kept me on 4 times the normal dosage of ecosprin for 6 weeks ! I had five major clots in the brain, was in coma for more than 24 hrs, with hardly any chance of survival. But in my inimitable style, I have proved the doctors wrong and bounced back to life fully and truly without any sort damage to brain function ! ! ! But I cant imagine what my children must have gone through !! :( :(
Well, that is history now and here I am.

[Shekhar]

Wishing all hubbers a very happy Deepavali !!!

I wish you all lots and lots of joy, prosperity and Wisdom to preserve them !!

[NM]

Hi Shekhar -

I am sorry to hear about your health problem but very glad its all over now! and happy for your children too! Take care of yourself.

Thanks for the wishes.

[PARAMASHIVAN]

Shekar

It's me Raghu :)

btw, sorry again to hear about your brain problem :( , when you get problems in life one comes in after the oher :(

[NOV]

Good to hear from you again Sekhar.
Don't worry, this Deepavali will be a new beginning for you.
How old are your children?

[Shekhar]

Hi Nov, How are you ?

Oh sure. I am fully fit now. It is a month I am going to office again. Though the doctor had advised me after discharge from hospital, to take rest at home and not go to office for atleast 4 weeks , I was back in office just after 8 days !!!

There is always something positive coming out of great sufferings. This time there were many positives.
(1) I learnt of my own toughness and strength of will power to comeout of the cirisis and to continue living.
(2) I came to know who are my true friends and my well wishers. I did not have an inkling of how huge is the number of my friends and well wishers. That is the wealth I have earned, and how rich I am!! I couldn't ask for more from Life.

[NOV]

[tscii:070cf7d221]excellent Sekhar :thumbsup: Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want. [/tscii:070cf7d221]

[Shekhar]

No NOV, I got what I want, my Life. And I also got to know a lot more about me and my life - how many friends I have earned
who would go out of the way to give me a helping hand, Who would arrange special prayers for me in their places of worship, knowing that I dont belong to their relegion, knowing that I am an atheist.
It is suffering that brings us wisdom, makes us mature.

[Ramona]

All went quiet!

Over the years I had the impression that you are a Christian. So did your suffering bring you faith?

[Shekhar]

No Ramona, I am not a christian. I dont follow any religion. I have, and try to live my core values. That is my religion.

My suffering bring me faith ?!!
Yes, it intensified my faith in humanity, in not being judgmental, in accepting people as they are, and respecting them for what their suffering and achievements have made them.

[NOV]

very good Shekar.
3/4 of the world's problems are caused by religion. :sigh2:

[Shekhar]

Only 3/4 ? You are underestimating.

I became a rationalist at the age of 18! Bertrand Russel had a great role to play in my becoming an atheist !!

I also firmly believe, whatever you give in life, comes back to you manyfold. You give love, you get love in plenty. You despise others, you will be despised by others.
I have learnt to give. I am grateful to the woman who taught me to give. The joy of giving is great, unexplainable.

[NOV]

I am a spiritualist. Rationalists cannot believe in getting back what they give. :poke:

Theists can easily exist without atheists but atheists cannot exist without theists.... with apologies to Russell :lol:

[groucho070]

I became a rationalist at the age of 18! Bertrand Russel had a great role to play in my becoming an atheist !! :notworthy:

[groucho070]

Rationalists cannot believe in getting back what they give. :poke:Ithu enna share market-a, pottatha vattiyodu edukkurathukku :D

[NOV]

Shekar doesnt know Tamil, Rakesh.

[groucho070]

Oh okay. I meant this is not like share market, expecting return. Rationalism is an approach, not emotional or spiritual investment. In my opinion. It's a lot more, though.

[Shekhar]

Yea. Rationalism is an approach to life. It is a philosophy in itself. It doesnt contradict humane values. It is a path to travel beyond prejudices and presumptions.

[krishnan]

Only 3/4 ? You are underestimating.


I also firmly believe, whatever you give in life, comes back to you manyfold. You give love, you get love in plenty. You despise others, you will be despised by others.

Hey that's spiritual :lol:

Just kidding. Wish you a speedy recovery.

[thamiz]

All went quiet!

Over the years I had the impression that you are a Christian. So did your suffering bring you faith?

Over the years???

Is this your second or third life?? :roll: Hmm!

[thamiz]

Only 3/4 ? You are underestimating.

I became a rationalist at the age of 18! Bertrand Russel had a great role to play in my becoming an atheist !!

I also firmly believe, whatever you give in life, comes back to you manyfold. You give love, you get love in plenty. You despise others, you will be despised by others.
I have learnt to give. I am grateful to the woman who taught me to give. The joy of giving is great, unexplainable.

You became very philosophical these days! :)

[Ramona]

All went quiet!

Over the years I had the impression that you are a Christian. So did your suffering bring you faith?

Over the years???

Is this your second or third life?? :roll: Hmm!

What does it matter :roll: