I didnt get that from the "Why Marry" question either!!Did the world take a huge gaint leap and leave me behind sometime during the last 3 years :shock: ??
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I didnt get that from the "Why Marry" question either!!Did the world take a huge gaint leap and leave me behind sometime during the last 3 years :shock: ??
Why Marry?
Why marry? What kind of question is that to be asking you as you plan your marriage? It's a question that needs answering by both of you. Why you marry is one indication of how equal your marriage will be. People marry for all kinds of reasons today, including being too embarrassed to call off the wedding. As you prepare yourself to enter "the holy state of matrimony," give some thought to the institution and the pros and cons of marriage. How do you and your spouse-to-be define marriage?
Marriage Facts:
True, research shows marriage is good for your mental and physical health, sex life and bank account, but so are a lot of other things requiring less commitment.
Marriage is a topic of academic study at the University of Chicago where Don Browning is director of the Religion, Culture and Family Project. He thinks that our society is having a tough time figuring out just what marriage is and to come up with strong cultural and intellectual justifications. In the past, marriage was primarily a social institution, but it has become increasingly an individual matter.
"The many justifications for marriage advanced through the ages can be organized along a continuum between its communal and personal dimensions. The march of history increasingly has subordinated the communal and elevated the personal," he believes." The idea of marriage as an institution has lost favor. More and more, marriage is viewed as an essentially private intersubjective agreement or "pure relationship" only incidentally sanctioned by state or church, if at all."
He has outlined five dimensions of marriage, which he feels are essential to understanding it as an institution and as "a living human reality." All five dimensions contribute in various degrees to how marriage is viewed and practiced today.
Marriage as organizer of natural desires. Early philosophers saw marriage as a way to handle natural inclinations such as sex drives and urges to procreate as well as to meet daily needs - the "Be fruitful and multiply" of the Old Testament.
Marriage as a contract. For centuries, marriage has involved contracts although early on they were primarily between families or clans and involved dowry and bride prices. Clans and later the church governed broken contracts. Marital contracts were largely private until the Protestant Reformation when marriages required registration and legitimizing by the state.
Marriage as a social good. As far back as Aristotle, people believed that the health of marriage and family was essential for the good of the larger society - particularly in bringing up children. Martin Luther went so far as to teach that marriage was an institution given by God at creation for the good of couples, children, society, state, schools and the common social life. The same principle lies behind the marriage education requirements recently instituted by Florida, Louisiana and Arizona.
Marriage as sacrament and covenant. Both views "drape marriage with a royal robe of divine seriousness and approval." according to Browning. Christianity, Islam and Judaism all have hierarchical patterns of marriage commitment to parallel man's faithfulness to God. Thomas Aquinas made marriage an unbreakable sacrament to compensate for what he saw as the tentativeness of the male commitment to offspring.
Marriage as Communicative Reality. Marriage between equal individuals for mutual comfort and assistance has been growing as a concept for the last 50 years and is a "significant shift from earlier formulations," according to Browning. In much contemporary theology today, the personal aspects are considered as important as procreative and educational aspects of the institution, but as marriage has evolved towards greater economic, educational and political equality, so have the challenges of communication between equal partners.
To achieve equality in marriage, Browning encourages couples to "develop the communicative and intersubjective skills to implement this ethic in the countless small decisions of everyday life between spouses. Knowing what you want, how to communicate it and listening to the other will help in striking marital bargains, he suggests, but so will an ethnic of equal regard, grounded in respect "for the other as an end and never as a means only."
Tats right......and also live-in relationship is just a convenient "use & throw" means of dumping the partner when ur bored of them......marriage is like buying a vehicle legally, registering it formally in ur name & being proud of being truly recognised for ur ownership/possession of ur real pride & joy.....whereas live-in is like having a stolen vehicle or one tat u don't want to bother legally registering in ur name even after buying so u jus use it for fun, for a while, then scrap it once ur "done" w/ it......!Quote:
Originally Posted by Anoushka
Well, tats my perception of the answer to "why marry"! :wink: :lol:
Why am i not surprised Lamby? :roll: :lol: :D
No no no no... it's not making life miserable... it's just making it complicated... Don't U enjoy solving complicated problems???!!! :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by tfmlover
When a town is planned deep thought, long run perspective, wide calculation& estimates of various factors are taken into consideration. Drinking water pipelines, drainage, entertainment facilities, community centres, market place, shopping malls and so on are meticulously planned, provided for with diligence & sincere vision. Marriage is such a planned structure evolved by our wise forefathers ensuring the total health of a progressive society of human beings. There are lots of unsaid, understood conditions, stipulations in a contract of marriage mutually binding, responsible and farsighted, needless to say beneficial for progeny. An agreement with extensive duties for both partners. It includes, embraces all planes of human existence, physical, emotional, intellectual, moral, ethical & social. It has been gradually built up as the race became more and more civilised, cultured, sublimating as a species superior to beasts. Overthrowing it, discarding it in a false sense of emancipation, equality & intelligence will only mean a backward slide down civilisation back to life in the jungles where only muscle power ruled. No government of senses or territory.
That was a beautiful example, Lambretta! :clap: :clap: :clap:
Propriety is undeniably a mark of civilization, be in a matter of vehicle or spouse. Most of the accidents on the road happen because of those not abiding by traffic rules and disregarding signal lights endangering, even fatally, the lives of innocent law-abiding citizens. Society’s ills stem from these new renegades & perverts.
interesting topic...will read on it soon...:)
I don’t see y I shud dump my vehicle jus bcos all the evidence of my ownership is gone…..and btw, I didn’t get y u compare this to remaining married….u mean sumone wud/shud dump their spouse jus bcos official evidence of their marriage is all gone?? Wud tat, in this case, be ur/ur spouse’s fault?? Wat if the whole country got a series of bomb attacks tat wiped out all official records/evidence of the marriage as well as the witnesses?? Wud u like to disown/dump ur spouse bcos of tat? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by tfmlover
Neways, I think u got a bit confused here so let me further elaborate……first of all, I gave the eg. of having a legally reg.’d vehicle & being sentimental abt it as opposed to having a “use & throw” one, to compare marriage w/ transitory live-in relations……
U take the effort of finding a vehicle tat u cud trust at ne time, then on finding one, legally transferring the vehicle into ur name, paying the tax/insurance etc., duly completing all the formalities to get the vehicle registered as urs and thereafter get the regn. regularly renewed when it is due, get the fitness done periodically, and eventually develop satisfaction/ attachment over it w/ the years, sharing many (mostly) good times w/ it…….this shows ur committed towards ur vehicle……..in this particular aspect this is similar to marriage (love or arranged), where u r willing to make efforts to find the right person whom u cud trust at ne time, then agree to undergo whatever commitments r necessary to establish the relationship, taking emotional & physical care of ur partner & getting to share many (mostly)good times w/ him/her………now taking the case of a “use & throw” ownership, where u want a vehicle, maybe for a purpose, but mostly to have fun w/……ur not inclined to go thru the process of registerering it in ur name, paying for the tax/fitness or ne of tat……no commitments! U just “ride” it as long as u can hav fun w/ it……once u feel bored w/ it or it starts to get physically “weak” & u don’t want to take ne responsibility on tat, u say “ok I think we’re thru”…….then u sell it or scrap it, don’t care wat happens to it & move on to find another one…only to repeat the same story!
Hope tat makes it more clear! :wink: :D
Tks PP ma'm!Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
And yes even ur point abt comparing accidents due to disregard for traffic rules w/ social ills from disregard for ethics/norms is a worthy eg.!! :thumbsup: :D
Glad to find sumone speaking my lingo! :wink: :lol: