If someone says you are ugly, its ok....
if someone says you are stupid, its ok...
If someone says you are genius slap him tight ...
and say...
there is a limit to kidding and you are now crossing the limit.
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If someone says you are ugly, its ok....
if someone says you are stupid, its ok...
If someone says you are genius slap him tight ...
and say...
there is a limit to kidding and you are now crossing the limit.
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
AMAZING FACT: The Japanese have produced a camera with such a fast shutter speed, that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut.
An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her sons-in-law.
One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell into the lake and started yelling for help.
The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out to the shore.
The next day he found a brand new Perdana V6 in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you!!!-Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!!"
Another day she was walking along the lakeshore with the second son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down the lake and started yelling for help.
The second son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out to the shore.
The next day he found a brand new Perdana V6 in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you!!!-Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!!"
The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same. But that guy didn't respond to her cries for help and didn't attempt to save her.
The poor old lady who wanted to test her sons-in-law drowned and died.
The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes Benz on his doorsteps with the following wordings ...
.
"Thank you very much! Your Father-in-law" !!!
Stoned stranger
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a stoned stranger standing in the pouring rain asks for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband. "It’s three o’clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just a stoned stranger asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"NO, I didn't - it’s three in the morning and it's pouring out!"
"Well, you've got a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on a holiday and those two stoned guys helped us? I think you should help him."
The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes the answer.
"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here, on the swing," the stoner replies.
Redneck family go to the mall
A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman,
said quietly to his Son, "Boy, go git yo Momma.... "
anubavam pEsudhO ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
:rotfl2: :rotfl: :lol: :lol2: no commentsQuote:
Originally Posted by NOV
An airplane is flying over the United States at night.
The pilot says:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out."
A little later, the pilot says "We're still losing altitude, we must throw anything out that is in the cabin".
The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out.
Pilot: "Still going down - we must throw out some people". There's a big gasp from the passengers!
Pilot: "But to make this fair, passenger will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
So... A... Any Africans on board?" No one moves.
"B... Any Blacks on board?" No one moves.
"C... Any Coloureds on board?" Still, no one moves.
"D... Any Darkies?
A little black boy - asks his dad: "Dad,...what are we?
Dad: " Tonight son, we are Zulus"
___
not really funny :?