Very old joke.
still :lol:
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Very old joke.
still :lol:
The other day I was traveling in a city transport bus which was jam-packed. The conductor was busy distributing the tickets (Vadivelu – nalla ticketu poora kizhichi kizhichi kudupaingale, andha udhyogama ?? ). One guy was constantly pestering him for the balance change and at one point, the conductor lost his temper and said, “ summa tholla pannina vandiya oaram kattiduven….”.
I don’t know what made me to say this, but immediately I said, “ neenga vandiya oaram kattunga paravayilla, aana avaru keezha irangi oodu katnarunna enna pannuveenga ? “. The entire crowd inside the bus burst out laughing – appadeenu sollamatten – :D , some of them laughed but I’m sure that the conductor and that man wouldn’t have considered it as funny.
Generally, I don’t behave like that in a public place but this time it was very tempting. It’s nothing like I wanted to pacify the situation or something, I simply wanted to say it.
ellAm Vaigaipuyal threadai update paNNi paNNi vandha pazhakkam dhAn Rangan :lol:
Enna panradhu, ungala madhiri nalu sadhi sanam vandhukittu poikittu irundathaney thread kala kattum. :D Mudiyala !Quote:
Originally Posted by Plum
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want
to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits
and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak
is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to
your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of
your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit
so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
out of grain. Bottoms
up
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one
Q: What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good
!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried
these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
getting more vegetables
be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape.
Bodhaila arulvaaku soldra saamiyar madhiri irukku.... :rotfl: :clap: Sarna...
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class." :wink:
All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Prime Minister Paul Martin, Finance Minister Ralph Goodale, and Revenue Minister John McCallum are flying on the Executive Airbus to a gathering in British Columbia when Martin turns to Goodale and says, chuckling, "You know, I could throw a $1000 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy."
Goodale shrugs and replies, "Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten people happy." Not to be outdone, McCallum says, "Well I could throw a hundred $10'bills out the window and make a hundred people happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses back there. Hell, I could throw all three of them out the window and make millions of people happy."
British English vs Malaysian English?
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No- need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER>>Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u