Good post Lamby,
But whats the way out.
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Good post Lamby,
But whats the way out.
MEDIA is the villain propagating bad ideas, trends, fashions motivated by MONEY! An awareness, counter-campaign can be of some use. Just a hope!
Shyam,
Who is the author of this article?
Hope you are aware that in the west, it is found necessary that both husband and wife earn a salary in order to make ends meet, unless the husband is extremely rich/has an excellent job.
From today’s “Times of India”(international section):
…While everyone knows most women won’t be seen without make-up, just how much they pay for it may come as a shock. The average woman, according to research, is estimated to spend a staggering 182,528 pounds on beauty products in her adult lifetime-almost 7,000 pounds more than the typical cost of a three-bedroom home
The survey claims women splash out an average of 2,944 pounds a year on moisturizers, make-up and beauty treatments. The182,000 pounds figure –taken to be the total spent between ages of 18 and 80 –far strips recent research which suggests that in the course of a lifetime women snap up fashion worth 97,000pounds and shoes totaling 31,680pounds.
“New Woman” magazine, which commissioned the study, surveyed 5,000 women who spent an average 600pounds a year on pampering such as facials, massages and anti-aging treatments.
The survey found only 3% of women felt naturally beautiful while 1%-just 50 women-refused to wear any make-up at all. Seven in 10 of those who wore cosmetics said they thought it made them look sexier and they felt “happier with life”.
Women spent an average of 52 minutes every day plastering on beauty goods and kept an average 86 products stocked in their bathrooms.
..Liz Sutton, of the Get Lippy cruelty-free make-up campaign, warned that obsession with products may have gone too far.
She said:”Women are under a lot of pressure to look a certain way and to use cosmetics. They are bombarded with advertising. Young girls are targeted by magazines which carry advertising for make-up and beauty products while women in their 20s are being told to consider anti-aging cream, Botox and even plastic surgery.”
*DIGR*:shock: Plse......not this name!!Quote:
Originally Posted by goodsense
I've felt queasy enuff w/ Lammy after I realised the meaning behind tat name! :oops: :)
/DIGR
Same pinch! :lol:Quote:
Shyam,
Who is the author of this article?
Hope you are aware that in the west, it is found necessary that both husband and wife earn a salary in order to make ends meet, unless the husband is extremely rich/has an excellent job.
Believe it or not, its the same scenario in India too now! :(
Even I wasnt able to find out the author of this article......as I said, I found it posted in the msn groups.....the author or original source wasnt mentioned atall.....
Tat I'm afraid can be left to the women only to find out.....in wich case I'm sure they'd be very very capable......IF a time comes wen they wish/decide to hav a way out of it, of course!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandeep
If u notice, the role-models even in our society for women hav changed tremendously in recent times.....the present ones being sum B'wood or glamour world celebs. (inc. models) w/ 'liberator' attitudes......so if, as u ask, ther shud be a way out, I wud say the role-models for the society must change first, wich wud begin to pave the way......!
Tat reminds me wen my mother had gone to the US on a fellowship many yrs ago, she'd been a paying guest in the house of an American lady & told me tat her hostess wud spend 1/2 hr in the bathroom every morning after she got up- putting on make-up! And jus to go jogging for an hour or so.....! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
Don't make me die this early hour of the morning :lol: :? Well, you see I am getting use to Shyam. It's hard switching from Lammy to Shyam and if I call you Lamby I know I will go back to Lammy. It's feeling OK now although no one else here calls you Shyam.
From today’s ‘Hindustan Times,Mumbai’:
Generation tech lives in bubble world.
Washington.
Julie Beasley looked out of her window one morning and saw a teenager changing clothes in the middle of the street. “She opened a side door and dropped her pants. She took her pants off and reached in the car and pulled out a skirt. Then she put the skirt on and pulled off her sweatshirt,”says Beasley, 46, of Iowa city. “All of it surprises me. I think they’re oblivious to adults, period.”
To baby boomers and other adults of certain age, young people may seem rude, disrespectful and generally clueless about established social mores. But to social scientists, the phenomenon is more complicated.
Raised by parents who stressed individualism and informality, these young people grew p in a society that is more open and offers more choices than in their parents’ youth, says child and adolescent psychologist Dave Verhaagen of Charlotte.
Unlike their parents, they have never known anything but a world dominated by technology. Even their social lives revolve around the web, iPods and cellphones. So they dress down, talk loose and reveal their innermost thoughts online.
“Put that all together and you’ve got a generation that doesn’t have the same concept of privacy and personal boundaries as generations before,” Verhaagen says.
On top of that, young people don’t care as much about making a good impression as their parents and grandparents did growing up, says Jean Twenge, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University.
“Over time, these kids will bring a different attitude and shape the culture of business and interactions in a way that we haven’t seen before.”
But for now, it still drives some adults crazy when they see young people talking to parents and teachers the same casual way as they talk to their friends.
whole discussion seems to be a paan-spitting bowl for moral police stuck in the 16th century and who feel unwanted today.
Thanx!!! Again an obvious shame!!!
Regarding about the exposure of one's body...let us remember that humans have changed their mindset and made themselves seem so civilised that showing one's body would be deemed as total indeceny. But from time immemorial perhaps the time of Krishna...women used to smear kumkum and tilak over their chest and did not always wore clothes. Perhaps our minds have become so modernised that we see this as a disgrace but maybe if our mindsets were still devoid of thoughts of sexuality we may not really see this as a shame.
When i say exposure i mean when the clothes are quite "wild". Not naked or half naked...that if done in this age where sexuality and the minds of human are totally civilised is a upheaval of reality that has been appearing since the years of kaliyuga.
Not a bad argument, hulk.....but if I might give my 2 cents....Quote:
Originally Posted by Hulkster
As u urself mentioned, therz an "if" coming here, wich indicates only a possibility...& w. the way society is going today, the likelihood of such mindsets as u mentioned is unlikely to come.....:)
And yea u maybe right tat in the ancient times women wer less-clothed, but note tat was the case most likely bcos it HAPPENED to be tat way......in times of Ramayana/M'bharata etc. even men wernt clothed above the waist, but for sum shawl/loose upper cloth.....also this was a time much b4 the concept of stitched clothes existed! (I once read sumwhere tat tailoring of clothes wasnt allowed in Hinduism originally as those wer considered "impure" but am not sure of tat....), so it was NOT done w/ the same intention as is being done today in many cases courtesy of the fashion scenario aided by the pro-cosmo. media in the name of "modernism"!
If its the mindsets tat r to be changed, then how come being less-clothed isnt being encouraged in case of men as well as much as it is in case of women? On the contrary, officially (or in many cases even otherwise), its the men who r considered respectable/dignified if fully-clothed (eg. as in a suit/formal wear)! :roll:
Tat sure tells us sumthing, doesnt it? :wink:
It wudnt do to jus criticize the mindsets of today's society vs. the ancient ones, the circumstances hav changed over the ages so has the concept of decency reg. dressing.....I repeat, in the ancient times, it jus wudnt hav occurd to ppl. in most early societies of the world then, to be fully/more clothed....hence they followed tat way of dressing....:)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hulkster
Your arguments are of no use in this so called civilised/modernised world right? In this world where people are searching/showing sexuality in the dresses that others/they wear where does this mindsets,disgrace comes? Justify!
It also depends on which part of the world you are. And I dont mean this only in sense of culture but also climate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanguine Sridhar
You see, the people of the tropics are more easily excited than the people of the temperates. A nude or semi nude image would cause more tittilation amongst say Indians than among Scandinavians!
In countries like Germany, Norway, Sweden etc, they even have common unisex saunas where people are completely nude and at ease. There is not the slightest hint of sexual tension! Imagine the same in India!!!
Indian culture deems nudity as taboo precisely because of the hot tempered nature of Indians. It is almost as though the heat of the region infuses into the blood, making it hot!!!
Of course, not so much physiologically as psychologically.
Which is why, a scantily clad person in the Western countries does not produce the same response as in an Eastern or mid-Eastern countries.
Ultimately, one comes to realize that these "cultural restrictions" are aimed at ensuring a fair amount of morality in society
Vaango sridhar :D....In those days..i mean around the age of Krishna...Humans used to view purity in the sense of heart and act rather than clothes...roman times also had woman in half naked clothes..there are even statues of our gods depicted in half nudity at times. But as time went by men and women thought that nudity should be only allowed to ones own privacy and also to their life partners. As generations and generations went by their mindset changed to view humans as full clothed and morality(civilised behaviour) also got instilled in them. So if a woman or man is half naked in the sense of the way their clothes are dressed...the opposite sex will feel very distracted and to others who are quite strict on such things...they will feel disgraced and angry. But if they had retained the old mindset of not viewing the person by his nudity or dress sense...then it would be quite different.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanguine Sridhar
Lamby good points...that is a more elaborate translation fo what i had just said..:D.
BTW a question to all of you all...lets say our mindset was like in those roman times...we did not view nudity as indecency and rather judged a persons decency with the way they presented themselves in their character and talk....how would we feel if we were to see a member of the opposite sex walking with "wild" clothes?
Well said, badri! :clap:
Level-headed thinking to be maintained so that our happiness & dignity will not be swept away from under our feet by the waves of globalisation.
As I said, it makes a lot of differnce from reality wen the "IF" or "lets say" factor comes into the pic. here, hulk! :wink: :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hulkster
Here is something to add a touch of humour to serious discussions:
From today's "The Times of India, Mumbai":
Do you need training to woo a woman?
A New York-based school trains men to charm women! So, what do our 'desi' dudes have to say?
"Do we really need to 'learn' how to sweep a woman off her feet?" Most self-respecting guys would scoff at the suggestion of learning to woo a lady of their dreams. But a New York-based 'charm school' would have us believe otherwise. The school prides itself on making any man better at meeting and dating women, by just spending a weekend at a school!
....How would such a school go down with our very own 'desi' dudes?
"More than anything, I think that such an idea is hilarious for words. May be it works in a country like America where people probably think that they need to be taught such things. But India is the land of the Kamasutra and Kajuraho. we already know it all - in fact we knew it 3000 years ago!" says 21-year-old MBA student Prateek radia with a smirk.
"Wooing a girl is something that cannot be taught and I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like a charm school. I am imagining some weird love guru-like person belting out instructions to a bunch of helpless guys, listening intently to his every word," guffaws a 27-year-old flight attendant.
"Giving us a woman's point of view, Kajal Lalkaka says that she'd rather be wooed by the heart rather than by the book. " They make the entire act of wooing sound so clinical by having a course on it," grimaces the 19 year-old student. "I think that it is quite a turn off to know that the guy has mugged all those charming lines rather than spouting them from the heart."
Charm school or not one thing about us Indians is clear, we prefer the act of wooing and being wooed, direct 'dil se'!
:roll: :huh:Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
read the article. i think it has become the order of the day. even in kerala, the most literate state, abuse of girl children, teenagers, and even senior citizens are not spared. there is no body to guide us. over exposure of the media is one of the reasons. parents have no time to look after their children. for most of them the priorities are differnt. In kerala , curently there is an allegation involving the minister p j joseph for misbehaviour. the C M said "that was an old lady". does he means that old lady can be abused? and sexually harassed? long back C M E. K Nayanar remarked "raping is like taking a cup of tea. it is as simple as that." inspite of high literacy, women hesitates to react. suicide is not a solution. kerala is state where maximum suicide is reported.
even if some body is punished for this offence(rape) he will come out in bail easily.
Its because of the media that all these cases are coming to light. If it comes that media does not report sexual abuses and thus bring down the recorded number of incidents, then the state of women will be dismal.
What should the parents do, follow their children where ever they go to protect them.
What P.J. Joseph said is that the lady is too old for him to feel like doing something of that sort. Then Nayanar's was a cynical comment on the dismal state of women in our society. He was not celebrating it but rather mourning on it.
It is only in Kerala that an female IAS officer can complain against a minister and get him removed (Neelan case) and where else can a housewife give complain against a Minister and CM himself orders a female IG to travel to Kochi and Chennai to find the truth (P.J.Joseph). Yesterday I was seeing in Asianet how the media is following I.G.Sandhya (who is enquiring the case) whereever she goes for the investigation.
I do agree that most criminals escape because our Judiciary sets free 1000 criminals to ensure 1 innocent is not punished. But our society exposes them to the max and destroy them socially.
A boon or bane?
Recently our friend's daughter underwent a surgery in a very famous hospital by a very renowned, experienced surgeon. But the whole story leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. She had a harmless ganglion removed from her right wrist- a purely cosmetic surgical procedure which can be done as an OP(outpatient) affair requiring just a few minutes. But what happened was a real good surgery with heavy anaesthesia followed by a few hours observation in the ICU & overnight stay in the hospital room. A treatment that need not exceed Rs.3ooo was charged as Rs.14000! All because the girl's husband had applied for & had claimed medical insurance! The story does not end there! The bloodsoaked big bandage was changed 2 days after, the sutures removed 6 days later. The whole upper palm below the wrist was swollen & painful, she couldn't move her wrist freely. The suture mark is a swollen eyesore. Having utterly lost faith in the 'famous' surgeon running the posh hospital a la mode a star hotel with diet kitchen et al, she went to her aunt, a general practitioner who diagnosed severe infection & prescribed very powerful, costly antibiotics, hot water baths, physiotherapy, external applications etc. The aunt was chagrined at the very crude way her niece’s palm had been cut into. Her verdict is the operation theatre too had not been maintained in an aseptic condition for such infection to develop.
It is a pity the girl who had waited for many years, consulting many doctors in many cities, postponing the surgery for her kids to grow up at last landed in such a sorry state. With the mediclaim she had she could easily have approached a plastic surgeon. A humble girl she is, she thought it too much of a fuss to do so.
The question now is medical insurance a boon or bane? Does it tempt the noble profession to forsake all medical ethics for the sake of gain? Why torment gullible patients with unnecessary pain & discomfort? Commercialization of service if added to ineffiency makes the patients prey to unexpected harm & expenses. Rackets of kidney thefts manage to get a place in the news headlines but not such business rampant in the city hospitals along with compelling patients to unnecessary, costly tests & treatments just for the sake of fleecing money out of them.
A shame!
"noble" profession.... :roll: :twisted:
Some black sheep spoiling the fame of the profession!
'some' ellam poye ippo 'many' aagita maathiri thonuthu... :(
True....:( :x
In this week's issue of the popular weekly, Ananda Vikatan, the popular writer, S.Ramakrishnan says in his column,
"EraaLamaana peNkaL thangkaL kalvith thakuthiyai maRanthu, samayalaRaikaLil uppu, puLi, miLakaayOdu odungkiyirukkiRaarkaL"
Somehow such a statement makes me uncontrollably angry & sad at once. In the name of pseudo liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment the fair sex is pathetically, tragically misled to mismanaging their priorities. Where else do they get wrong signals to lose their correct sense of life & happiness other than from such 'sympathisers'?
:argh: :curse: :curse: :cry2:
Hmm the age old question of feminism. I think true liberation and empowerment is the freedom for a woman to choose - choose what she wants to do and respect her choice. If a woman opts to work, then the society looked down at her for 'neglecting' her family (thankfully this is not a big deal now) .Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
If a woman opts to be 'homemaker' or a housewife or whatever they want to call it, she is accused of neglecting her career-education.
Don't know when true liberation will knock on our door. May be we should not wait for it to knock - we should go and bring it home.
liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment and not pseudo! Women have the right to decide whether cooking is a burden or a pleasure to them. Also if she is conditioned to think that the way the men behave is because that is what God desires, then that's another fraud on her. A woman can have multiple sex partners-YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT! IT DOESN"T MATTER.
Moral police needs to be banned. They should be punished. Very soon people can't afford to say they are sad to see a progressive world and they want to support only the MCP's!
Only now women are getting aware of their rights. The greatest thing happening is that people like you are not able to CONFUSE them!
Tiruttakkan
women who decide to become a homemaker have to realise that this decision should be based on the importance that they give to taking care of their home, husband and especially children being greater than the importance that they give to their possible career. in which case, she would not feel that she's wasting her education by not pursuing her career. she would feel that she's achieving a lot more by bringing up her children properly. her decision to stay at home should not be made because she's a female and that's what is expected of her.
if a woman is capable of achieving sth of more importance in their career, then the couple would have to share the responsibility of taking care of their home and bring up their children. it is unfair to expect such a woman to give up her career and waste her education to stay at home and take care of her home and children, if the same is not expected of men.
taking care of the house, bringing up the children, and bringing in the income for the household. these are all the different responsibilities that have to be shared by a couple. a woman should not be forced to take up the responsibility for taking care of the house and bringing up the children just because she's female.
and today's working couples have to learn to balance all their responsibilities. a working woman should not be expected to solely take care of the house and the children on top of her office work. the man has a share in those responsibilities too.
<dig>
Hello Fire, long time no see.
How are you doing.
</dig>
i know. more than a year now, i think. i'm good, thanks. exam time again actually. ought not to be coming to the hub. but just popped by a few days ago. so have been reading some of the topics now. anyway, how are you?Quote:
Originally Posted by dsath
Thanx, tt! You know very well I am not to be booed down, daunted by accusations of 'moral policing' If you fail to see my genuine care for happiness of a healthy humankind it is your loss, not mine! May god or devil save the kind of women you stand up for!!! Yes, a growing section of the modern women are not 'confused' about what they want!!! May not their kind flourish in the long run! My devout belief & prayer!
I am alright, thanks Fire. Good luck with your exams. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire111999
thanks. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by dsath
pp madam, do u really think that a woman should stay at home rather than pursue her career, regardless of whatever she is capable of achieving in her career? i am not saying that the proper unbringing of children is not important. but that is not exclusively a woman's job. for working couples, this responsibility can be shared by the couple.Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
Actually this discussion took place in hub almost an year back... just jobless enuf to find the link :wink:
http://forumhub.mayyam.com/hub/viewt...=545154#545154
TV! :lol: arumaiyaana paattu onnu njaapagam varuthu: 'araicha maavai araippOmaa, thuvacha thuNiya thuvaippOmaa?' What an evergreen subject!
Fire! What is it you call achievement? Pay packets? What if you get your husband's to spend as you wish? A woman at home is a whole cabinet of parliamentary ministers, governing ALL the departments. Women can excel in everything whereas men have limitations...there are many things they just can't do, visualise or manipulate! With such inborn, inherent ingenuity & naturally endowed powers to shape & keep warm a nest, making meaningful life for herself & her spouse where does the necessity rise to prove her mettle neglecting her vital role from the home!
My grandfathers were emperors & grandmothers were empresses ruling parelle kingdoms most efficiently, complementing their efforts for the welfare of the whole family. the emergence of nucleus families does not call for change of roles. The home, the children, the quality of life/existence of a career woman & a homemaker definitely differ vastly! You choose what you want, what you think is important. Priorities are shifting. Truths are not.
no. not just the salary. going to a job is not just about bringing home the salary. it's abt the job itself as well. if a woman is capable of contributing to her job, her company, the economy of the country, or have some sort of positive impact on the world (for e.g. through research in sustainable development or in renewable resources of energy) using her intelligence, abilities and education, she should be allowed to choose to do so, instead of being accused of ignoring her home and children. i agree that a woman at home is able to contribute substantially to the wellbeing of her home and her children. but don't think to suppress a woman by artificially raising the position of a woman at home and the importance of taking care of the children. husband and wife can share that responsibility. please don't be so narrow minded as to say that working is only for the salary and to prove her mettle.