A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

Your joke in FB today was worthy... why don't you post it here? :p

I went for a meal with a chess fanatic the other day. There was a checked tablecloth on the table. It took three hours for him to pass the salt.

A teacher asked his class: "Where does God live?"
A student answered: "I think he lives in our bathroom."
The teacher then asked: "Why do you say that?"
The student answered: "Well, every morning my dad bangs on the bathroom door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'"

A man went to see the doctor.
Man: "Doc, do you think I can live for another fifty years?"
Doctor: "Do you drink?"
Man: "No!"
Doctor: "Do you smoke?"
Man: "No!"
Doctor: "Do you visit whores?"
Man: "Certainly not!"
Doctor: "Then why do you want to live another fifty years?"

You invented Tipp-Ex... correct me if I'm wrong??

So Eric Bristow came up to me... he said, "How come you put Super-Glue on one my darts?" I said "You just can't let it go, can you?"

I've just come back from a "once-in-a-lifetime" holiday... Tell you what... never again...

I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop... it was sole-destroying...

I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell...

A man went to see the doctor.
Man: "Doc, I think I'm spending too long on the computer, I'm starting to see spots in front of my eyes".
Doctor: "Have you seen an optician?"
Man: "No, just spots."