THIS IS CHENNAI AFTER ALL !!

19

I spent the summer vacation with my parents and taught at a school for children with special needs. I needed community service experience for my college as well as an added advantage for applying to premier universities for my post graduation in management. I attended dinners and parties to make myself cognizant to my parent’s new acquaintances. The co-volunteers at the school were an assortment of students like me who worked for the community service certificate, social workers, housewives who were too bored to sit at home and a few retired and aged members. If I had a story about my life, they had theirs too. The most enriching part was the narratives of their experiences in life.


The vacation passed slowly and pleasantly and importantly without me stressing my mind about Sean. Though I had called him twice before my vacation both of which he had cut down quickly saying he was busy, I assured myself that he’d become congenial once his “busy” phase was over.

I found it amusing that he could be more “busy” than I was. Pursuing two heavy courses simultaneously coupled with work, I was engaged throughout the day. I had reached a stage where I don’t think any other student could be busier than a CA student, and I was doing B.com and CA.

“Busy” was a word I had never entertained in my life. Neither did my parents. When do you say you are busy? When you are in midst of some work? Supposing your near and dear one is critical and in emergency, would you still say I am busy and not attend to them? You would immediately rush to them isn’t it? Why so? Aren’t you busy? Well, you aren’t because they are important to you. So technically when you are needed by someone and you respond saying you are busy I take it that I am not important to you.

Somehow a ray of hope allowed me to tolerate the word from him. I returned to Chennai and life got hectic as usual.

:P

Dear chevy

yours is good product. Been wanting to tell this for sometime but could find time only now. :wink: keep up the good work! :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by btr

Dear chevy

yours is good product. Been wanting to tell this for sometime but could find time only now. :wink: keep up the good work! :D

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Thank you BTR !!! and welcome to the hub. I guess this is your first post ?!

Dear Chevy,

Been waiting to see/read more of the stranger Sean. :D . well i guess u r busy...but u dont like 'busy' to be used :lol: ?well well, let us hear from you. :roll:

Thanks Chevy for the warm welcome. :) I should have acknowledged it earlier. But ... :? i kinda slipped....well let us have mails from Sean through you soon. :wink:

20

Second year of college began on a more frustrating note. I was finding it difficult to cope with the hectic schedule and in midst of my constant worry over “why Sean didn’t respond”, I was highly temperamental and that strained my social and domestic relations. Physically, I was forever on the move, attending classes or work, but mentally I was permanently stuck to one thought. Why would anyone ignore me? I reconsidered our days spent together, recalled our conversations and wondered if it were those petty arguments that he kept in mind?


I wrote a glum apology to him for which he never responded. Sheepishly I wondered if he is possibly not alive! I mean why does he not respond? What’s wrong? What ever went wrong? I waited for weeks for a reply. Tried his number that permanently ended in some answer machine and I was charged for all them. I hated myself each time I rang him ‘cause I paid for nothing and it was hard on my meager student income from the Articleship.
I resent the apology for which he replied shortly saying it’s all right and all’s well.


Unable to comprehend what could possibly be the reason, I spilled the beans to Gautham. Though he was comparatively more empathetic than Jay anna, he too, observed that I worried over nothing.

“I am shocked that you didn’t care so much when you accidentally pierced your hand with the butter knife, you didn’t care when you were not allowed to go and freak out with your friends in Bangalore, you didn’t worry when air tickets weren’t available, someone who told me, “I prefer not to drink or commit into a relationship ‘cause I don’t like it when anything or anyone takes control over me” is now actually worried that someone is ignoring you? Come on, Lalli”


It was appalling to hear that I went against my own policy and I awkwardly passed excuses to shroud the same. I lost count of the number of people I began spilling my worry to, and forgot what I had said and what I wanted to. I ended up often repeating what I had said and other mundane mistakes I couldn’t forgive myself on. I promised myself I would become silent and reserved , at least that wouldn’t make me go around blabber my disturbing issue everywhere. But being silent went against the well-established cheerful, talkative and entertaining Lalli-image.


Despite my outgoing persona, I usually kept my personal matters to myself and got over them easily. Heeding to the “pour your heart out” advice was really a big mistake. ‘Cause pouring my heart out was just never ending. No body understood, nothing was helpful and once it was disclosed, it was always the topic of discussion and I was just tied down talking the same issue, and once it became apparent that the other person thought I was crazy over nothing, I just felt so helpless and “poured it out” again to another.


I knew I was increasingly opening my mouth and proving my stupidity and I hated that it spoilt my trademark image of a combination of extremes – nerdy, fun-loving, amusing, informatively-boring, gregarious et al.

Now I was just …… I don’t know what I’ve become and where this is heading.



Soon, I began to entertain doubts on my own sanity.

:P

21


The monsoon had come again. Vidya, Divya and me spent our break time outside, sitting below any shade that sheltered our Tiffin boxes from the rain yet allowed us to lunch under the comforting weather.

Our peppy girly talks to brainstorming discussions fused with the sound of falling water and the sweet smell of wet ground, made it an invaluable experience each day.


Thirteen of April and it was a Friday. We decided to evoke all the evil spirits on this so called very unlucky, dangerous day. Whilst many stayed in to play safe on a thirteenth that was Friday, we went out for a girly night out to Kaveri’s. The only restaurant that won’t kick us out even if we sat there for four or more hours at a stretch anytime. Even during peak hours, it’s a spacious outlet, so no one is standing at your collar waiting for you to swipe your plate clean.

When we went in and self served our dinner it was nearly nine P.M. Fast moving crowd, and that gave us more variety to bird watch. Despite being a self-service outlet, the maître d'hôtel came up to ask what next? We seemed like we’d settle there forever.


“We better get a drink or something, lest they actually tell us to leave” , Vidya said.

Standing at the counter, I noticed a dark, tall but shorter than me, guy at the other counter staring at me. I couldn’t ignore him pointing his finger towards my direction and whispering to his gang of buddies.

I badly wanted to communicate and confirm what I’d noticed to Divya and couldn’t being mobbed in the crowd. As we stood at the delivery counter, we bird-watched an athletic built, tall, striking, well dressed, but sadly, married guy playing with this children , and voila! He spoke Tamil! Not bad, there are good looking Tamil guys after all.

So there is hope for us, observed Divya. And we giggled at the existence of men other than those whose build, in our secretive opinions, were Actor Dhanush, premarriage and Actor Vijaykanth postmarriage.


Suddenly Divya slowed in speech and wasn’t looking at me. She then became silent and looked past me.

As I turned around to see what caught her attention, she quickly turned my face back to facing her.

“Why is that guy going on staring at you?”

Dear Chevy,

wow! :notworthy: That was cool.I liked the way you expressed the helpless situation faced at the hotels"waiting to wipe our plates clean". :roll: thanks for prompt continuation, but the waiting is too long :fatigue: ....for the entry of Sean! i know i have to wait. :argh: