:lol:
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A boy found a lamp in an attic and rubbed it. As expected a genie appeared.
Genie: What do you want?
Boy: A very beautiful girl.
Genie: OK, if you are a Hindu, I'll give you Priya Anand
If you are a Muslim, I'll give you Nazriya
If you are a Christian, I'll give you Samantha
If you are a Punjabi, I'll give you Kajal Agarwal
What's your name?
Boy: My name is Vijay Abdul Fernandes Singh.
It was the first day of a school in the USA & a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade classroom...
The teacher said: Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?
He saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up & said: Patrick Henry, 1775!
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?''
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar: Abraham Lincoln, 1863!
The teacher snapped at the class: Class! You should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.
She heard a loud whisper: F*** the Indians!
'Who said that?', she demanded.
Chandrasekhar: General Custer, 1862.
At that point, a student in the back said: I'm gonna puke!
The teacher glares around & asks: All right! Now, who said that?
Again, Chandrasekhar says: George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.
Now furious, another student yells from the back of the class: Oh yeah? Suck this!
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand & shouts to the teacher: Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said: You little shit! If you say anything more, I'll kill you!
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice: Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said: Oh shit, we're screwed!
And Chandrasekhar said quietly: I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008.
Great lines by K.V. Ramachandran:
"Change cannot be given to you everytime. You must bring the change."
Who is K.V. Ramachandran?
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He is the great bus conductor. Now read his lines once again. :p
Doctor gets a phone call.
My husband just swallowed the aspirins by mistake, what shall I do?
Doctor : Give him a headache now, what else?