A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

Too good




Modern Maths

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep


Therefore,

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy


if, Human - enjoy = Donkey + work


In other words,

Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work (Eqn 1)

************************************************** ****


Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money (Eqn 2)

If Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,

Men that don't earn money = Donkeys (Eqn 3)


************************************************** ****


Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep


Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend (Eqn 4)


If, Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,


Women that don't spend = Donkeys (Eqn 5)


************************************************** ****


To Conclude:

From Eqn 3 and Eqn 5
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend
So,
Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

From Eqn 2 + Eqn 4, we have
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend
From Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys

And the Donkeys live happily ever after!

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Ultimate :lol: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NOV

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."

"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

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lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NOV

Banta began a job as an elementary school counselor and he was eager to help. One day during recess he noticed a boy standing by himself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Banta approached and asked if he was all right. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Banta noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Banta offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at Banta suspiciously.

Feeling he was making progress, Banta then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalkeeper!"

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:D

The Doctors' Sign

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading :

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors."

The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, "Schizoids and Haemorrhoids."

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics."

No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes." Unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts?" No way.

"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.

"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

Everyone loved it.

The best way to enter a man's heart
http://www.savefile.com/files/1423098
The best way to enter a woman's heart
http://www.savefile.com/files/1423102

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rocketboy

The best way to enter a man's heart
http://www.savefile.com/files/1423098
The best way to enter a woman's heart
http://www.savefile.com/files/1423102

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:lol: Good ones rocketboy!

However, jokes apart, the woman in the 2nd pic. is wearing sumthing (I dont meanthe jewellery) tat'd be the best way to enter THIS man's heart! :wink: :P :lol:

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."


And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm an honest loyal wife, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check.. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

A Teacher lecturing on population -

In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up - we must find & stop her