Feeling great, after reading all yr Msgs....
Thankz for all!!
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Feeling great, after reading all yr Msgs....
Thankz for all!!
True in one way but the problem becomes serious when the child gets to know on its own. At one point or the other the child would definitely get to know through various sources - especially through trouble making relatives. If that happens after a particular age - say 16 or 17, the situation becomes worst. Two of my relatives had this problem. They did not want to disclose the truth but ultimately the children got to know it through relatives and friends when they were around that age. The situation became unbearable and the adopted parents had to face a lot of difficulties. The children became so adomant, uncontrollable and the worst part was - they were forcing their adopted parents to take them to their real parents. The impact is serious when the child gets to know the truth from an outsider rather than from the parents.Quote:
Originally Posted by a.ratchasi
One of our neighbours has as an adopted son and a daughter of their own. The son is just 7 years old now. They are under tremendous pressure these days wondering whether to tell the truth or not. Even after seven years - still there are people who purposely try to hurt their feelings by asking which child was adopted out of the two. The worst part is that they do it in the presence of the children. Changing the society on these issues is impossible. So I feel it's better to disclose the truth to the children before they reach their teens. 10 or 11 would be ideal I feel. But lets see what others have to say. I would like to know Shekhar's opinion on this issue .
Scorpio,
I had just read your post! You have raised some interesting points. Specially the following;
I personally feel - that only women who have a financial need would agree to surrogate. Women who put moral values and sentiments before their other needs would hardly agree to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpio
In the case of married women who have their own children, it would be interesting to know as to how the husbands would react to such situations. Would they agree their wives to bear a child of an outsider? Wouldn't it be a mental trauma for them?
Consider two forms of surrogate motherhood:Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
1.When the woman solicited by the couple is artificially inseminated with husband's sperm and carries the child till birth to be handed over to the couple.
2.When the couple is able to provide both sperm and egg but the wife is unable to carry the embryo due to an absent or defected womb or multiple miscarriages.
In the first case only the father is the genetic parent of the child and not the wife.
Now consider the psychological impact on the wife,the surrogate and the child when he/she grows up.
1.The wife realises that the child is only her husband's blood and another woman's,but not hers.
2.The surrogate who has undergone the gestation period realises that the very child who was kicking inside her womb ,who has her blood in its veins, no more belongs to her.[I remember a Mohan Lal movie with the same story but can't remeber the name.I am sure Sandeep or Cindy will]
3.The child,when grows up,may find out that his genetic mother lives elsewhere and the woman whom he called mother so far has no genetic or biological relationship with him.
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In the second case the embryo from the couple's sperm and eggs is evolved through in vitrio fertilization,where the ovaries of the wife is hyper-stimulated to produse a number of eggs which is mixed with sperm in a lab.The resulting embryos are inserted back in the woman's body.This is a very fragile process and only 10-20% of the formed result even in actual pregnancy.
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Is human life so cheap?Aren't there more ethical issues involved? Most religions advice against surrogate motherhood.Infact Quran says the actual mother is the one who gives birth.It also says a mother should breastfeed her offspring.
A child is an individual from the moment he is conceived.He has to be respected and cared for from the very moment.Can we make an object of him and make him in a lab?
A surrogate can come forward due to many reasons-Money,Compassion being the most possible.I remember a recent incident when the mothe of a childless woman became the surrogate for her daughter.Willthe resulting child call her,mother or grand mother?And doesn't this pratice severely damages the perception of both the surrogate and the child about procreation and family? :?
I have utmost compassion towards childless couple.But I hope they stay away from this.There are many children in this world who need your attention.If a child is a gift from God,dont go searching for it when he has showered you with such gifts everywhere you can see. :)
After all,you may not find a packet addressed to you. :roll:
Roshan,Quote:
Originally Posted by Roshan
Agreed. I too think women who need money will agree to be surrogate mothers since child-bearing has not descended to be an another profession. Or, in rare cases, others will agree if it is for their blood relatives. My ex-boss got his wife's sister to be the surrogate mother. Of course, the sperm was his and egg was his wife's. The sister knew very well that she had to help her elder sister have her 'own' baby and stopped with that without getting too emotional with the baby. She has now settled abroad and the child is happy with 'its parents'.
On the mental trauma for the surrogate's husband, I think he too should be counselled along with his wife. But, the emotional impact is high on the female rather than on the male, isn't it?
In response to Roshan's posting:
Why do people need to be as insensitive as that?
It is definitely another form of wickedness I would say.
Even as I type, I can, in fact, list the names of 'beings' that I know who are just waiting to divulge matters that do not concern them.
If only such 'naalu peru' could learn to MTOB, the world would definitely be a better place to live in.
Settled??? What do you mean by settled?? Does she have her own family or living single? I'm sorry I'm so very irritated by this news. I'm really mad at this married woman (and her husband )- who had played with the life of her own sister. As blahblah rightly said - IT'S CHEAP !! :twisted:Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpio
Roshan,Quote:
Originally Posted by Roshan
You have misunderstood. The wife's sister is married and has her own children. She accepted to surrogate her sister's child as her sister cannot bear a child. She gave birth to a son who is not genetically hers. She gave him to her sister. The point I was about to drive was, she did not have any emotional bonding with the child that will hurt her sister and the child's future. I think it is magnanimous of her husband too to support her thru' her gestation to help her sister's family.
Well said blahblah !!Quote:
Originally Posted by blahblah
Exactly!! but the sad part is it never happens in reality ! :cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by a.ratchasi
Scorpio,
Thanks for clarifying but let me ask this.. what about the sister's husband? How did they make him agree? I just cant imagine this kind of a situation.