chevy : your first poem (one without title) is so very true & poignant. the other poems are also nice, but why so melancholy ?
- Ramky
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chevy : your first poem (one without title) is so very true & poignant. the other poems are also nice, but why so melancholy ?
- Ramky
hmmm .. i don't know why.. i guess my poems usually turn out to be sad and gloomy..Quote:
Originally Posted by Designer
thank you for your honest comments..
:D
BLATANT PRIDE
Unaware of the world
Sat the dumb child
Whilst others forged ahead
This one sat and cried
“But the others are “smart”
that’s what the teachers told
Do they have a heart?
Or has it gone mean and cold?
Cold, frozen with ignorance
‘coz they failed to see
the giant that lay inside …
This boy was going to be
Stronger than the others would ever be
For this “dumb” child, had a talent within
Uncovered and modestly it lay within
Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
Maybe you wouldn’t call him “dumb” again
‘Coz when his dulcet voice echoed
it soared and danced in your ears
and rang in your mind
This voice took him to great fame
Glory, money and much more
And the academicians who once branded him “dumb”
Now applauded and toasted him
And said,
“He was my student!”
beautiful :)
Hi Chevy! :D I really liked your first poem, i liked it's logic even better, so beautifully sentimental. I could only suggest that you try to compress and minimalize the writing so as to have the most profound emotion remain...or even reducing the times 'the rocks' are mentioned...I like how you personified the ocean...but then again i am suggesting this because that is what I like and try to do...but each to her own because you do it well :)
your other two poems are amusing,very piquant and human. Are you speaking of Einstein in your last poem? I know he was considered slow in his school days...
hey Q .... im not really good at writing poems. Sometimes it just flows outta me and i scribble them wherever i am.. That's why i guess it turns out like this :oops: :oops: :oops:Quote:
Originally Posted by Querida
And einstein?? yeah he was considered slow in school days rite? i wasnt thinkin about him anyway... in the poem i am talkin about a child who turns out to be a singer..
Hey if not scribbling down what comes to you is not how to write poetry, then every poet is going about it the wrong way! :D don't apologize for your work....it's very good :D
Oh still I liked the meaning...people really don't think that when they put down a child how much it can scar :x
ah oui, c'est vrai, ils sont tres fou! :P
oui .. c'est tres vrai!! ... i had tht on fer a very long time .. i guess u noticed it onli recently ..Quote:
Originally Posted by Querida