Marriage.....

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Originally Posted by Hulkster

It just happens that Asians have lived with the marriage ceremony makes you husband and wife concept permanently that they are unable to accept what happens in westernised and european countries as not against morals and values..........Its unbelievable how religions cultures and traditions have brainwashed so much that we think undergoing a marriage ritual means being married. if undergoing a marriage ritual means being married then GOD would have asked the first man and woman to undergo a marriage ritual when he created them...he did not and considered them man and wife for the mere fact of them living together. Letus accept those who live together as married too and not refer to traditions religions and then decide whether they are married or not. :exactly:

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:argh: :banghead: :hammer: :angry2: :rant: :roll:

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Accepting the yoke of marriage bond needs courage, sincerity, unselfishness, taming of the beast within & showing consideration for the fellow human beings called society. A new generation of backboneless humans is evolving unaware of fine nuances of intimate relationship which can't be expected to be found in a "free" contract. What is it to anyone? How does it affect me? What a thoughtless, superficial way of interpreting/understanding the reasoning power man is endowed with! What more can be expected from people who opt to go down to the bestial style of living?The feeling of being fed up with the topic which is the fashion for long is inescapable!

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:clap: :exactly: :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by rachel

:smokesmile:

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:shock: :omg:
Unaku eppo intha vazhakum vanthidchi.......chi chi chi.....dirty girl! :x :notthatway:

Surya,
For the question "WHY MARRIAGE",

We can answer this after getting married several times :lol: :lol: :lol: because now everyone will say that we cannot comment on that before getting married even :lol: :lol:

I think the proverb "oRu paaNa sothukku oRu soru patham" is not applicable in this case.
My choice would be:

- Marry one girl / girls
- Live along with another girl / girls

I think you can feel the difference. :lol: :lol: if possible, do a research / pH.D work on the same. If needed, I will also contibute :lol: :lol:

If anyother hubbers are willing to take part in this experiment, they are most welcome :lol: :lol:

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Originally Posted by crazy

why marriage? ..............i guess i know, but i dont believe in marriage and all those stuffs or iam not really much into these things..............i will remain single forever, if thats possible!

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Is your difficulty with the idea of marriage, or the idea of love itself? From your post, it sounds like it is love itself you don't believe in, rather than marriage.

Anyway, has anybody read Nakkiranar's commentary on Iraiyanar Akapporul, discussing the philosophical difference between married love and "stolen" (i.e. unmarried) love? :)

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Originally Posted by Badri

PS:oops, just realized! Mates - not as in lifemate or anything like that. Mates as in friends

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Australia-le niraiya varutam irunthutingal-nu therihiradhu, mate! :lol:

podalangai, can you share with us this:

"Anyway, has anybody read Nakkiranar's commentary on Iraiyanar Akapporul, discussing the philosophical difference between married love and "stolen" (i.e. unmarried) love? "

PP-amma, I don't have the book with me now, and it's been some years since I read it. I was hoping someone who had it could summarise it. If not, I will do so in around two weeks time when I am back home.

Yes,please!

Yes,please!

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Originally Posted by Badri

SS: one may not always be in a position to choose mates! Especially when you travel on a business trip to a foreign country, and are forced to share accomodation with colleagues from work.

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Yeah Badri what you say is also true.Just that I found the idea so disturbing more so coz they are not being true either to themselves or to their poor wives. I believe that what ever you do ,do it without hiding. Atleast it will give the others who interact with you a chance to either be with you or leave you. Whats this business of hiding and then acting like the worlds best husbands.

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Originally Posted by Lambretta

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Originally Posted by ssanjinika

Surya - agreed that infidelity has increased quite a bit but then why punish marriage for that?

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:exactly: :yes: :ty: :thumbsup: :bluejump: 'nuff emoticons I think......phew!
Oh, and yea, herez a little 'gift' from my side for ur sane statement:

http://amicale.com/spitfire/images/herald/vitesse1.jpg

:wink: 8-)

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:notworthy: :notworthy: :D
BTW really enjoyed reading your signature :wink:

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fine nuances of intimate relationship which can't be expected to be found in a "free" contract.

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How does signing a peice of paper make any difference in Intimacy?? :confused2:

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What more can be expected from people who opt to go down to the bestial style of living?

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Signing a document makes one all human like? :?

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It just happens that Asians have lived with the marriage ceremony makes you husband and wife concept permanently that they are unable to accept what happens in westernised and european countries as not against morals and values.

It is wrong to impose marriage on humans to live together with their loved one as it is just a ceremony to announce them as official husband and wife to the world. Its unbelievable how religions cultures and traditions have brainwashed so much that we think undergoing a marriage ritual means being married. if undergoing a marriage ritual means being married then GOD would have asked the first man and woman to undergo a marriage ritual when he created them...he did not and considered them man and wife for the mere fact of them living together. Letus accept those who live together as married too and not refer to traditions religions and then decide whether they are married or not.

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thottuteenge! :cry: :D

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Just as we abide by the laws of a government we created for our own good it is reasonable that we are answerable for our actions to the society we are part of.

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Abiding by the laws of govt is important. Theft, Murder, Domestic Violence are things the govt is against. If these things aren't controlled, then humans go insane.

But being answerable to our actions to society isn't reasonable. (Considering that one doesn't break the law) Espicially since Indian society itself is a very hiprocritical, nosy, and gossipy one.

I don't see why one lives his or her life trying to satisfy Society's criteria of "A Respectable Person"

It's because of that u see parents commiting suicide because their daughter elopes or something. Gladly those idiotic things don't happen anymore...

Doesn't it sound idiotic for someone to live their life the way society (A gossipy, irrational, hipocritical one) wants them to live it, rather then living life the way that makes them happy? :?

Selva,
:rotfl: :rotfl: Deivame...(tontonton) Deivame...(ton tonton) :lol: :notworthy: :P

Do we agree that One should Live their Life, the way they want, rather than living their life the way Society wants them to? :D

If Yes....

Then how many ppl here would rather live together without the commitment of marriage? :D

Surya : Engagements can be broken :) . It is a bit more difficult since it does involve the family and society but hey if you cant stand eachother when you are engaged how can you stay married toeach other and be happy?
Ultimately being happy is what counts rite.
Another reason I am pro marriage is (whether you lived together before or not :wink: ) couples tend to work harder to keep a marriage working and slack off when it comes to just relationships. It could be simply because marriages are more difficult to get out off since it involves(in most cases) going to the court and stuff.
Well..whatever the reason,the fact that you put in extra effort to save a marriage is what counts.Go that extra mile for your wife :)


BTW did you see that you have 2 same options in your poll?

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BTW did you see that you have 2 same options in your poll?

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Yeah. :? I don't kow why that happened...I just pm'd nov to change it. :P

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Another reason I am pro marriage is (whether you lived together before or not Wink ) couples tend to work harder to keep a marriage working and slack off when it comes to just relationships. It could be simply because marriages are more difficult to get out off since it involves(in most cases) going to the court and stuff.

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Now thats a good point! :clap: :)

*dig

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Originally Posted by ssanjinika

:notworthy: :notworthy: :D
BTW really enjoyed reading your signature :wink:

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:ty:
'wish it wer my/my father's story tho... 8-)

/dig

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

The sanction/licence of marriage raises the whole dignity of human life bestowing all the benefits & pleasures it rightly deserves. It shows the difference between living & existing. Animals exist prodded by a clockwork mechanism of instinct. Humans live guided by conscious, deliberate choice. Animals herd together & rule by muscle power. Humans live as society on the foundation of moral power. The gradual progress is evident in human history. Whatever is taken for granted cannot really satisfy or endure. Whatever comes with binding/commitment/proviso gives meaning, weight, purpose which is worthwhile experiencing during one’s life on this earth. Modern trend-setters for living together are paving the way for jungle raj!

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ppmaam.... manushangale miruganga maadiri just exist aana enna pannaradhu?

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

The sanction/licence of marriage raises the whole dignity of human life bestowing all the benefits & pleasures it rightly deserves. It shows the difference between living & existing. Animals exist prodded by a clockwork mechanism of instinct. Humans live guided by conscious, deliberate choice. Animals herd together & rule by muscle power. Humans live as society on the foundation of moral power. The gradual progress is evident in human history. Whatever is taken for granted cannot really satisfy or endure. Whatever comes with binding/commitment/proviso gives meaning, weight, purpose which is worthwhile experiencing during one’s life on this earth. Modern trend-setters for living together are paving the way for jungle raj!

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ppmaam.... manushangale miruganga maadiri just exist aana enna pannaradhu?

The choice rests with us!

with us.. to do what?

to live or to exist!

no no what i meant was.... what if we "live" and ppl around us just exist... making our lives miserable??

At least there will remain a little satisfaction, a precious, personal satisgfaction that we are 'living' & not 'existing'. :D It is true that it is irking it is to see people around us 'existing' instead of 'living'. It is a harrassing experience indeed. :( What can we do? Write in forumhub :lol: hoping 'erumboora kallum theyum' :D

:? I'm missing something here...

So marriage makes the difference between living and existing? :? Or is it that "Commitment in general" makes the difference between living and existing?

If so, then Marriage isn't needed to be commited, nor is marriage to only form of commitment. :P

:huh:

Should I rephrase the question? :confused2:

Surya,
Thought this would be interesting for you..
Now..now..dont get mad..Believe me I find this preposterous too.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060811/...fe_marriage_dc

engae namma all in all Azhagu raja thiruttu maran intha threadkku onnum post pannaleeyae :huh: :lol:

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Originally Posted by ssanjinika

Surya,
Thought this would be interesting for you..
Now..now..dont get mad..Believe me I find this preposterous too.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060811/...fe_marriage_dc

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Hah!! Charecter and Stability eh?! :roll: The good thing is that this case is almost guarenteed to be in favor of the couple. :thumbsup:

These god damn Conservative Republicans should not be given any importance in society....Keep in mind that these are the same exact morons who are anti-Abortion, Anti-Gay Marraige (I agree, I am a homophobe, I don't like being aroung gay people, but I don't think that the govt should get involved in personal matters such as relationships.) Anti-Stem Cell Research etc! :lol: These are also the same blood sucking vampires who implemented the Patriot Act. :roll:

It's become a hobby for them to violate the constitutional rights of Americans. :roll:

Well, Anywayz, hopefully the Courts will stop that community from implementing these idiotic rules on it's Neighbors. :thumbsup:

LOUIS K. ANSPACHER: Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.

MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN:
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

NANETTE NEWMAN:
A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.

PEARL S. BUCK:
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.

RAINER MARIA RILKE:
A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.

In my point of view, marriage is definitely not something you get into just becoz everyone has started asking or becoz age is catching up or becoz everyone else has sumone or becoz your wonderful parents and friends are encouraging you to do so. It has to be the thing you want to do. Something that both individuals are and want to be commited to. For a lifetime. For an eternity. When you are so hopelessly and helplessly (?) in love with them that all you want to do is be with them for all your life. And, REMAIN so.

Wishful thinking ??? When I do get around to finding someone who would do that to me, I will keep you guys well updated. LOL.[/b]

Wish you good luck, shalushalu! :D
The topic under discussion is whether the ritual of marriage is necessary or not. :( Support for 'living together trend' is being canvassed here! :cry:

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Wish you good luck, shalushalu! :D
The topic under discussion is whether the ritual of marriage is necessary or not. :( Support for 'living together trend' is being canvassed here! :cry:

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Ha Ha Ha ...

I wasnt canvassing for either. Marriage needs REAL deep thought. Meanwhile, if you think you'd like to start living together instead, that needs some kinda deep thought too, right ???

Listen to your heart .... :yes:

10 years back,

I WOULD HAVE SAID.............

whats wrong in live-in relationship?

8 years back

I WOULD HAVE SAID...............

hey marriage is crap. lets try living together and see if it works. if it does fine...... else..... just call it quits.

2 years back

I WOULD HAVE SAID......

marriage is not bad.......... but living in is........ i mean.............. its kinda okei too...... what big diff? .............. its society's way to tie or oblige ppl.........

but NOW............

I SAY...........

marriage.............. IS THE BEST THING.........

FOR

peaceful life
fulfilling life
enjoyable life
meaningful life

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH SYSTEM IN OUR SOCIETY............

where we avoid too much heartbreak

:clap: SP :!: :yes: :exactly: :ty: :2thumbsup:

pp maam,

:)

I was very eagerly waiting for ur reaction. I remember the days I used to argue with u in kavithaigaL thread too.
:)

AGE teaches us lots of things. :)
IT gives us maturity. :bow: :)

Though I still hold on to the view, that EACH INDIVIDUAL is free to chose his will or way of living.........

SOCIETY actually binds us with lots of values without which we would find wails and cries all thro the world.

Sometimes now I reawlise, that such bindings and rules ARE NECESSARY so that many innocents who just have modern views BUT WITH GOOD NOBLE HEART escape from clutches of ruthless world.

Sometimes lessons are learnt hard way.
Thankfully in my case, ITS JUST....... OUT OF sheer age-wise maturity.

When Youth's excitement, ego, adamancy etc dies down........ we find, HEY....... LIFE HAS ACTUALLY GIVEN US THE BEST in way of bindings and commitments via marriage.

I do look back thankfully upon my parents and my hus, WHO UNDERSTOOD ME, with my thoughts all thro the time when I argued, YET, waited for me to realise it myself

I AM HAPPY.
THANKS TO marriage system :)

:thumbsup:

I wish to quote a beautiful song.....



paadhi manadhil deivam irundhu paarthu koNdathadaa
meethi manadhai mirugam irundhu aatti vaithathadaa
aatti vaitha mirugam indru adangi viattathadaa
amaidhi deivam muzhumanathil kOvil koNNdathadaa

aaravaara pEigaL ellam Odi vittathadaa
aalayamaNi Osai nenjil koodi vittathadaa
dharma dEvan kOvililE oLi thulanguthadaa
manam saanthi saanthi saanthi endru Oivvu koNNdathadaa

(Thank god......... satti sudaamaiyE kai vittiruchu :) )


and its blisss
pure bliss...
when we give away mindless arguments
and our ego dies down......
to realise wiser things :thumbsup:

:cool2:

I agree with you KM! Experience will overcome all the youth crap thoughts! :)

We should be proud to live in India atleast for this culture and marriage! :)

5 Ponna kalyanam pannittu,6 ponna divorce pannittu 8 ponnoda vazhuradhu oru vaazhkaya? There should be some difference between Dogs,Pigs and Humans! :)

-double posted-