Sure, words matter a lot.
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Sure, words matter a lot.
[tscii]A Matter of Perspective
A man raced down the hospital steps one rainy day and jumped into a passing bus with the remark, “What a beautiful day it is!”
The rain was pouring in torrents, it was dreadfully cold and everyone was bemoaning the foul weather.
The conductor remarked, half amused, “You must be mad, Mister, to call this a beautiful day.”
“You’d be as mad with delight”, the man replied with enthusiasm, “If you also had recovered your sight after three years of blindness.”
a story about performance policy and process
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.
Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here.
Buddha and the abuse story
(responding to other people's negative behaviour; angry customers, disruptive kids, bad-tempered bosses, etc)
A tale is told about the Buddha, Gautama (563-483BC), the Indian prince and spiritual leader whose teachings founded Buddhism. This short story illustrates that every one of us has the choice whether or not to take personal offence from another person's behaviour.
It is said that on an occasion when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for some reason very angry.
The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group and to the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?"
"The giver," said the group after a little thought.
"Any fool can see that," added the angry stranger.
"Then it follows, does it not," said the Buddha, "Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad feelings."
The Gandhi shoe story
Mohandas [Mahatma] Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948), the great Indian statesman and spiritual leader is noted for his unusual humanity and selflessness, which this story epitomises.
Gandhi was boarding a train one day with a number of companions and followers, when his shoe fell from his foot and disappeared in the gap between the train and platform. Unable to retrieve it, he took off his other shoe and threw it down by the first.
Responding to the puzzlement of his fellow travellers, Gandhi explained that a poor person who finds a single shoe is no better off - what's really helpful is finding a pair.
Nov
All your posts are really good. I read them with interest. Thanks. :D
Here is something interesting. I dont know how much it is true. But still :.......-
Have a history teacher explain this if they can !
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat !
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.
:bow:Quote:
Originally Posted by sudha india
the praise should go to the authors whose identities have got lost thru countless fwdg of mails. 8-)
"Knock, knock"
"Who is there?"
"Opportunity"
"Can't be"
"Why"?
"Opportunity knocks only once".
4 persons were travelling in a train. They stuck up a conversation.
The 1st person said " I am a brigadier. I am married. I have 3 sons & all 3 are engineers".
The 2nd person said " I am a brigadier. I am married. I have 3 sons & all 3 are doctors".
The 3rd person said " I am a brigadier. I am married. I have 3 sons & all 3 are lawyers".
The 4th person however kept quiet.
When pressed to speak, he said "I am not a brigadier. I am not married, but I have 3 sons & all 3 are brigadiers".
Most selfish one letter word- "I"
Avoid it
Most satisfying two letter word-"WE"
Use it
Most poisonous three letter word -"EGO"
kill it
Most caring four letter word- "LOVE"
value it
Most pleasing five letter word- "SMILE"
keep it
Most fastest spreading six letter word- "RUMOUR"
ignore it
Most hardest working seven letter word- "SUCCESS"
achieve it
Most enviable eight letter word- " JEALOUSY"
distance it
Most powerful nine letter word- "KNOWLEDGE"
acquire it
Most essential ten letter word- "CONFIDENCE"
trust it
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead !
Life is Short, so break the rules...
Forgive quickly,
Believe slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And...
Never regret anything that made you smile...
Every Little Smile can touch Somebody's heart
:)
Some Wacky Quotes
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity. - Albert Einstein
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you meet a beautiful girl . - Uzair Sait
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones
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We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don't like? - Jean Cocturan
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It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg
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Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.
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Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is in trouble again.
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Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.
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It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.
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Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
where to shop.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
neither does milk.
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Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.
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Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
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The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia!
:clap:
A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... But the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.
*********
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe " go to hell"
*********
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
*********
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
*********
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
*********
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
*********
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies !
*********
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
*********
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS?
One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from
TCS, went out for a walk.
"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"
Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh,
works for the best firm".
Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the
monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.
As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny
gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...
Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to
be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out
laughing at him ..
The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take
another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"
So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy
narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed
again...
Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh!
It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!
The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK,
you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's
make this monkey run".
and he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed
where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the
monkey- still No go.
So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The
Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was
scared to death!
The other two surrendered.
They Said: "OK, we give up.
You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But
Please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.
"Well", said the Infosian, "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work
for Infosys. The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it
started crying.
And then I told that I was here for recruitment! !!
Warning: I generally avoid 'adults only' postings out of habitual reserve. But ...forgive me this once...pathos hidden in comedy!!!
One day there was this little girl and that little boy at the park with their pants pulled down.
The little girl asked the little boy "What is that, hanging?"
The little boy said, "I don't know!"
Then the little boy asked the little girl what is that dale?
She said she did not know. So that night the little girl asked her mom and her mom said, "That is your garage don't let any big trucks go in."
Then at the little boy's house the little boy asked his dad and his dad said "That is your big truck don't park it in any garage."
The next day the boy and the girl had their pants pulled down again and the girl went home with blood on her hands. Her mom screamed and asked, "How and Why?
The girl said, "Nothing to worry Mom. This boy tried to put his big truck in my garage and since you forbade me, I pulled his two back tires off before it goes into my garage."
What is the difference between men and women?
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*******
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
*******
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
*******
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
*******
5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.
*******
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*******
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
*******
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
*******
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
*******
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
*******
A Nun asked her class to write notes to God.
Here are some they handed in:
**********
Dear God :
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.
**********
Dear God:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You keep the ones You already have?
**********
Dear God :
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.
**********
Dear God:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
**********
Dear God :
I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.
**********
Dear God:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
**********
Dear God :
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
**********
Dear God:
Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
**********
Dear God:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
**********
Dear God:
Who draws the lines around the countries?
**********
Dear God :
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?
**********
Dear God:
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
**********
Dear God:
Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.
**********
Dear God:
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
**********
Dear God:
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
**********
Dear God:
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.
**********
Dear God :
I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
**********
Dear God:
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.
**********
Dear God :
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
**********
Dear God:
I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.
**********
Dear God :
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
**********
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... Right ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No
**********
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you .
**********
PP maam!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
:D
Dealing with any clients in services is an art. In the case of IT, we primarily deal with American clients. It is useful to know how the English language works with them. Some of us may hesitate to speak to the client. Because we are not confident. When we practice the following tips, we can boost our confidence.
Interactions with American clients - Useful tips
1. Do not write "the same" in an email - it makes little sense to them.
Example - I will try to organize the project artifacts and inform you of the same when it is done
This is somewhat an Indian construct. It is better written simply as:
I will try to organize the project artifacts and inform you when that is done
2. Do not write or say, "I have some doubts on this issue"
The term "Doubt" is used in the sense of doubting someone - we use this term because in Indian languages (such as Tamil), the word for a "doubt" and a "question" is the same.
The correct usage (for clients) is:
I have a few questions on this issue
3. The term "regard" is not used much in American English. They usually do not say "regarding this issue" or "with regard to this".
Simply use, "about this issue".
4. Do not say "Pardon" when you want someone to repeat what they said. The word "Pardon" is unusual for them and is somewhat formal.
5. Americans do not understand most of the Indian accent immediately - They only understand 75% of what we speak and then interpret the rest. Therefore try not to use shortcut terms such as "Can't" or "Don't". Use the expanded "Cannot" or "Do not".
6. Do not use the term "screwed up" liberally. If a situation is not good, it is better to say, "The situation is messed up". Do not use words such as "shucks", or "pissed off".
7. As a general matter of form, Indians interrupt each other constantly in meetings - DO NOT interrupt a client when they are speaking. Over the phone, there could be delays - but wait for a short time before responding.
8. When explaining some complex issue, stop occasionally and ask "Does that make sense?". This is preferable than "Do you understand me?"
9. In email communications, use proper punctuation. To explain something, without breaking your flow, use semicolons, hyphens or parenthesis.
As an example:
You have entered a new bug (the popup not showing up) in the defect tracking system; we could not reproduce it - although,
a screenshot would help.
Notice that a reference to the actual bug is added in parenthesis so that the sentence flow is not broken. Break a long sentence
using such punctuation.
10. In American English, a mail is a posted letter. An email is electronic mail. When you say
"I mailed the information to you"
, it means you sent an actual letter or package through the postal system.
The correct usage is:
"I emailed the information to you"
11. To "prepone" an appointment is an Indian usage. There is no actual word called prepone. You can "advance" an appointment.
12. In the term "N-tier Architecture" or "3-tier Architecture", the word "tier" is NOT pronounced as "Tire". I have seen many people pronounce it this way. The correct pronunciation is "tea-yar". The "ti" is pronounced as "tea".
13. The usages "September End", "Month End", "Day End" are not understood well by Americans. They use these as "End of September", "End of Month" or "End of Day".
14. Americans have weird conventions for time - when they say the time is "Quarter Of One", they mean the time is 1:15. Better to ask them the exact time.
15. Indians commonly use the terms "Today Evening", "Today Night". These are not correct; "Today" means "This Day" where the Day stands for Daytime. Therefore "Today Night" is confusing. The correct usages are: "This Evening", "Tonight".
That applies for "Yesterday Night" and "Yesterday Evening". The correct usages are: "Last Night" and "Last Evening".
16. When Americans want to know the time, it is usual for them to say, "Do you have the time?” Which makes no sense to an Indian.
17. There is no word called "Updation". You update somebody. You wait for updates to happen to the database. Avoid saying "Updation".
18. When you talk with someone for the first time, refer to them as they refer to you - in America, the first conversation usually starts by using the first name. Therefore you can use the first name of a client. Do not say "Sir". Do not call women "Madam".
19. It is usual convention in initial emails (particularly technical) to expand abbreviations, this way:
We are planning to use the Java API For Registry (JAXR).
After mentioning the expanded form once, subsequently you can use the abbreviation.
20. Make sure you always have a subject in your emails and that the subject is relevant. Do not use a subject line such as HI.
21. Avoid using "Back" instead of "Back" Use "ago”. Back is the worst word for American. (For Days use "Ago”, For hours use "before")
22.Avoid using "but" instead of "But" Use "However".
23. Avoid using "Yesterday" hereafter use "Last day".
24. Avoid using "Tomorrow" hereafter use "Next day".
How To Talk To A Man - Five Secrets Every Woman Should Know
Relationships
Do you know how to talk to your man? Is your boyfriend the silent type, not telling you what he thinks or feels? When you ask him questions and try to get him to open up, does he seem to go farther away? Is he confused about what you want from him?
Talking to men can be difficult if you don't understand how they are wired. Even if your guy is the talkative type, he still may not be good at sharing thoughts, feelings, or sentiments that are of any depth. Would you like to know the five secrets in how to talk to a man? Here are some facts that may surprise you and guide you:
1. You cannot talk to men the way you talk to other women.
Women are almost always ready to share. If you woke your girlfriend up at three in the morning to tell her the details of your fight with your boyfriend, she could tune into what you are saying in about five seconds. Conversely, if you woke your boyfriend up to tell him anything important, it would be the equivalent of a bee sting. He would be jolted, disoriented, and a little mad. He would need twenty minutes to regroup and hear what you are saying.
SECRET #1: Don’t approach men for conversation when they are not in an approach mode. Give them time and opportunity to be able to listen to you. They want to be there for you and give you what you need, but you have to understand that they need to have distractions removed, time to focus on the conversation, and a clear and defined understanding of what you want from them.
2. Men have been programmed for centuries to take care of the family.
When you take any complaint to him, even if you are only crying because your hair came out green instead of blonde, he unconsciously thinks it is his fault. If a man feels he is not taking good care of you, (and complaints are translated into thinking you are not happy with him,) he experiences tremendous physiological discomfort. He hears your problem as HIS failure. Withdrawal is his protection in these situations.
SECRET #2: Don’t misinterpret the silent male or underestimate how much you mean to him. He is highly vulnerable to you.
3. Men do not heal from emotional wounds as well as women do.
Who cares more for their lover, men or women? If you answered men do, you would be right. In general, after divorce, men re-marry sooner than women do, don’t live as long as their ex-wife does, and their suicide levels go up more. When a man sees silence in the relationship, he thinks everything is fine. However, if a woman is not talking, she is probably planning to leave. Only 50% of men in a troubled relationship know there is a problem. The rest say they never saw the breakup coming.
SECRET #3: You give meaning to your guy’s life. You matter far more to him than either of you realize. Be careful and kind with your words.
4. Men relate to other people better by doing activities with them.
Women get a chemical hit from talking. Men do not experience this rush of feeling good when they are talking to someone. They often feel that words get in the way of experiencing the moment. Men get a rush of good feelings when they are taking action or are engaged in physical activity. They also love to share activities with their favorite woman.
SECRET #4: Find at least one activity that you both have a passion for and do it together. This strengthens your bond and gives him a sense of success.
5. Men love routine.
Men take comfort in routine. To change schedules, plans, or even homes, is upsetting for him. He wants his time to be free from turmoil so he can hyper focus and concentrate on taking care of his work, and ultimately, the family.
SECRET #5: Build some loving routines together. You might think that you are both just wordlessly watching TV, while he might see that activity as part of your togetherness. Predictable patterns in your relationship keep him grounded.
The above five secrets can change the level of happiness in your relationship. Add kindness and nurturing, and if you have chosen a good guy, you will have a new best friend. This is how you talk to a man.
A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted.
But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided
to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of
proposal to her.
HE WROTE :
Most worthy of your estimation
after a long consideration
and much mediation.
I have a strong indication
to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification,
it is no exaggeration or fabrication
that I have passed my matriculation examination;
no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation.
What do you say to the solemnisation
of our marriage celebration
according to the glorification of modern civilisation
and with a view to the expansion
of the population of present generation.
On your approbation of the application,
I shall make preparation to improve my situation,
and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
it will be our argumentation of the joy and
exaltation of our joint dissimilation.
Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion,
To remain victim of your fascination.
SHE WROTE :
Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,
Congratulation for your lengthy narration
of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation
for a combination which on examination
I find is a fine presentation of your ambition.
You have passed your matriculation with little preparation,
what about my graduation after a long botheration,
so improve situation in education
and make an application by acquisition
of post graduation and minimum qualification
for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation
undergo beautification.
Further strict observation of the following conditions is the
regulation for the determination of our relation.
1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim
of any fascination and,
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.
In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of
paper conversation.
I Remain,
Unaffected by your affection.
Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Thought 2
The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If
you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again
the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will
run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as
a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got
married?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
This is the best!!!
Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her
father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to
divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my
life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and
continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing.... ...... but not
the poor groom!
:shock: :shaking: :oops:Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
Shudnt this be in the jokes thread tho? :roll: :?
1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books
Blogging passion of a Spanish grandma!
From ‘The Hindu’:
Madrid: She is billed as the world’s oldest blogger. At 95 years old and with a worldwide following that has seen more than 340,000 hits on her blog, Spaniard Maria Amelia has achieved the kind of status millions of younger Internet chroniclers can only dream of.
Ms.Lopez, who was introduced to the world of blogging by one of her grandchildren eight months ago, has become such a global hit that she receives posts in languages strange and impossible for her to understand.
‘My name is Amelia and I was born in Muxia(A Coruna..Spain) on December the 23rd of December,’ was her first post on amis95.blogspot.com. ‘Today it’s my grandson, who is very stingy, gave me a blog.’
With a mix of humour, warmth, optimism, nostalgia and feisty outbursts of leftwing polemic, she has won a regular readership of people keen to find out just what this Spanish great-grandmother is going to say or do next.’You have to live life,’ the silver-haired blogger said in a post. ‘Not sit around in an armchair waiting for death.’
Her blog tracks not just a nonagenarian’s day-to-day battles against aches, but offers musings on everything from politics and religion to broadband and death.
Among her chief hates are old people’s homes, which she criticizes for drugging their clients so they spend their final days snoozing quietly in front of the TV.
…
Her grandson, Daniel, with whom she lives, taught her to navigate the internet after she pestered him to download biographies of poets and politicians. She likes to read online newspapers, for which she boosts her font size, and stay up-to-date with medical and scientific advances.
The blog was a gift from Daniel, who had no idea what he was unleashing into cyberspace. He has become her chief assistant: Ms.Lopez navigates with the mouse while he types in the words she dictates.When Daniel is not to hand, other assistants pop up on her blog, be they friends or hotel cleaners in Brazil. ‘I love you, grandmother,’ said one Brazilian hotel worker who was drafted in to help.
Ms.Lopez tells stories of her childhood and youth. She recalls, too, the terrors of the Spanish civil war, and how her brother was sent to the front aged just 16- and came back with one leg shot off.
Her dislikes include daytime pill-popping, crude language and telephone companies that are slow to install broadband. Her main loves are poetry, politics, childhood memories, her native region of Galicia, A Jesus Christ who dislikes wealth.
She has readers in Alska, Australia, China and Nigeria…Her fans include Spain’s socialist Prime Minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero. A letter from his office is one of many documents that she has posted on the website. ‘May you keep going with this for a long time,’ the Prime Minister told her.
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. "Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me: "I've been chosen to clap and cheer."
[tscii]
A lesson in heart is my little 10-year-old daughter, Sarah, who was born with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time. She came home one beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed in "Field Day" - that's where they have lots of races and other competitive events. Because of her leg support, my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this get her down - but before I could get a word out, she said, "Daddy, I won two of the races!" I couldn't believe it! And then Sarah said, "I had an advantage." Ah. I knew it. I thought she must have been given a head start … some kind of physical advantage. But again, before I could say anything, she said, "Daddy, I didn't get a head start. My advantage was I had to try harder!"
It costs nothing but creates much.
It enriches those who receive it, without improverishing those who give it.
It happens in a flash and the memory sometimes lasts forever.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters Good Will in business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature's best antidote for trouble.
It cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to any one till it is given away.
And if, you meet someone who is too weary to give you a smile--leave one of yours.
For no one needs a smile quite so much as he who has none left to give.
-Author: Anonymous
Tags: caution at cinema hall
Few weeks ago, in a movie theater, a person felt something poking from her seat. When she got up to see what it was, she found a needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying "You have just been infected by HIV". The Disease Control Center ( in Paris reports many similar events in many other cities recently. All tested needles were HI V Positive.
The Center also reports that needles have been found in cash dispensers at public banking machines.We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. A careful visual inspection should be enough. In addition, they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger.
Recently, one doctor has narrated a somewhat similar instance that happened to one of his patients at the Priya Cinema in Delhi.A young girl, engaged and about to be married in a couple of months, was pricked while the movie was going on. The tag with the needle had the message "Welcome to the World of HIV family". Though the doctors told her family that it takes about 6 months before the virus grows strong enough to start damaging the system and a healthy victim could survive about 5-6 years, the girl died in 4 months, perhaps more because of the "Shock thought". We all have to be careful at public places, rest God help! Just think about saving a life by forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass along.
Who is clever? Teacher or student????? ?????
One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't
Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and
said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return
the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way
back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in
separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........( 2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?........... ....(98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!! !
:lol: Good one PP ma'm!
:ty:
All I Really Need to Know
I Learned From Noah's Ark
1. Don't miss the boat.
2. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY BIG.
5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done.
6. Build your future on high ground.
7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
8. Two heads are better than one.
9. Speed isn't always an advantage; the snails were on board with the cheetahs.
10. When you're stressed, float awhile.
11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic was built by professionals.
12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than the storm outside...