:lol: Good one PP ma'm! :D
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:lol: Good one PP ma'm! :D
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
They have statue of Columbus in a central location in Washinton DC. Was recently there with an acquaintance who cracked a comment that I found hilarious (at least at that point). He said: "..patha bhool gaya bechaaraa !"...Roughly translates to : "...the poor bugger lost the address !" :-)
Comedies in history! Comedy of errors! PiLLaiyaar pidikka kurangaana kathai!
One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.
As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and
The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL ........
A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to forward it to the President of the India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes ... "
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And,every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It washard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again". Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy/gal who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he/she cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her/him."
Don't say you're not important,
it simply isn't true,
the fact that you were born,
is proof, God has a plan for you.
The path may seem unclear right now,
But one day you will see,
that all that came before,
was truly meant to be,
God wrote the book that is Life,
That's all you need to know.
Each day that you are living,
was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers,
So be proud of who you are,
Your character is important,
In this book, you are the 'Star'…
>A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided totake a nap
> under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the
> side
> ...
> A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.
>
> He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and
> they had taken all his hats.
> The Bihari sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.
>
> While thinking he started to scratch his head.
> The next moment,the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down
> his own hat,
>
> the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat
> and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally
> managed to get all his hats back.
>
> Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a hat-seller and
> had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like
> his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he
> took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.
>
> He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys
> on the tree. He remembered his grand father's words,started scratching
> his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned
> himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his
> grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat on the floor but to his
> surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey
> climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap
> and said
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> 'You think only you have a grandfather?'________________________________
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were u the one who changed my sign this morning? What did u write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what u said but in a different way." What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day & I cannot see it."
Do you think the first sign & the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story:
Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. Invite the people towards good with wisdom.
Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When Life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
Each day is as special as you want it to be.........MAKE IT GREAT
HAPPY
NEW
YEAR
2008
Kochikkaran kochappu paranju
Kochikkarellam kallanmaaranu
Anganae kochi kkarellam kallanmaranel
Kochaappuvum kallanallae?
Anganae kochappu kallananael avan paranjathu kallamalle?
Angane avan paranjathu kallamanengil
Kochi kaarellam nallavaralle?
Angane avarellam nallavaranengil kochappuvum nallavanallae?
Anganae anengil avan paranjathu
Sathyamallae?
Anganeanaegil kochikarenammarellam
Kallanmarallae?
Angane anengil kochappuvum kallanallae?
---
puriyalayE! :(
Let us wait for a good translation to appreciate it fully! :D
Good one :D
Good one :D
An accidental Lawyer
A very successful lawyer parks his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too closely and completely rips off the door on the driver's side.
The lawyer immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up. Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically that his Lexus, which he had just bought the day before, is now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally calms down a bit, the officer shakes his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asks the lawyer.
The cop replies, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!"
A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150.00."
Don't ask too many questions
After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush lets the kids ask questions.
“How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?” asks one boy.
Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back in.
“Where were we?” says George. “Oh, yes—does anyone want to ask me anything?”
A different boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And, lastly, where the hell is Billy?”
Marry with care
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties
The first man had married a Bengali girl, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.
The second man had married a Tamil girl. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Punjabi girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see little out of his left eye.
Some more Laws
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
**********
LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
**********
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
**********
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
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BATH THEOREM : When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
**********
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold .
Fortune teller
A young man went to a fortuneteller. Gazing into her crystal ball, the old lady asked, "What is your dream, young man? What do you want to do with your life?"
"I want to become a great writer."
"How do you define great?" she asked.
"I want to write things that the whole world will read, things that people will react to on a truly emotional level, things that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger."
The fortune teller reassured him, "It will be so."
He now works for Microsoft.... writing error messages
Flying with a Parrot
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"
PP.. i guess you are posting the ones you have to post in jokes thread here :?
This thread is preferred by me for such interesting anecdotes!
The Greek Philosopher Socrates was widely respected
for his wisdom.
Plato asked scorate, " I want to tell you something about your student"
Wait a moment," Socrates replied,
"Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test.
It's called the Triple Filter Test".
"Triple filter?"
That's right," Socrates continued.
"Before you talk to me about my student let's
take a moment to filter what you're going to say.
The first Filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely
sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if
it's true or not.
Now let's try the second filter, the Filter of Goodness.
Is what you are about to tell me about my student
something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued,
"you want to tell me something bad about him,
even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though,
because there is a third filter - the Filter of usefulness.
Is what you want to tell me about my
student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates,
"if what you want to tell me is neither True,
nor Good, nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher
and held in such high esteem.
Triple filter test has some limits but it is good to
try on several occasions
.... and that is also the reason why he never found out of his wife's affair with his neighbour. :lol2:Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
ithu enna puthu kathaiyaa irukku? :roll: anthammaa avaru thalaiyila thaNNiya kotti, 'idi idichathu aduthu mazai penjathu' famous dialogue kaaraNamaa iruntha nonthupOna poNdaattinnuthaana ninaichEn! ippO yaaru paavam-nnu theriyalaiyE! :(
Ive read that pp maam!Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
and LOVED IT!
ITS A WOW thing to remember and follow.
Then we would realise, most of what we talk , (90 PERCENT) is just garbage :)
:shock: :(Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
and ITS RIDICULOUS for u laugh about it nov :evil:
rendu perum thaan!Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
passage of time SP, time heals everything... :roll:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
I suppose so :) dunnoQuote:
Originally Posted by NOV
Healed by time or not, it still is something serious, certainly not ridiculous! :shock:
serious? :shock: not after so long....
i'd call it irony :)
Is the story authentic? I pity the fellow! As a child got very inspired by Sivaji's dialogue as Socrates: 'ethaiyum En ethaRku...' with his brave facing of poison. What an irony all great people have not-so-happy personal life! :(
have no idea. he was much before my time. :P
http://www.berro.com/joke/socrates_l...ruth_goodness_Quote:
It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair with his wife.
usefulness_plato_affair_philosophy_greek.htm
http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...ad.php?t=61403
And Plato is known as his best follower! :(
[tscii]
LPO
On the morning of New Year’s Eve, while I am loafing on Main Street, in Surat, I meet an old friend of mine.
“Hi!” I say.
“Hi,” he says, “where to?”
“Aimless loitering,” I say, “And you?”
“I’m going to work.”
“Work? This early? I thought your shift starts in the evening, or late at night. You work at a call center don’t you?”
“Not now. I quit. I’m on my own now.”
“On your own? What do you do?”
“LPO.”
“LPO? What’s that?”
“Life Process Outsourcing.”
“Life Process Outsourcing? Never heard of it!”
“You’ve heard of Business Process Outsourcing haven’t you?”
“BPO? Outsourcing non-core business activities and functions?”
“Precisely. LPO is similar to BPO. There it’s Business Processes that are outsourced, here it’s Life Processes.”
“Life Processes? Outsourced?”
“Why don’t you come along with me? I’ll show you.”
Soon we are in his office. It looks like a mini call center.
A young attractive girl welcomes us. “Meet Rita, my Manager,” my friend says, and introduces us.
Rita looks distraught, and says to my friend, “I’m not feeling well. Must be viral fever.”
“No problem. My friend here will stand in.”
“What? I don’t have a clue about all this LPO thing!” I protest.
“There’s nothing like learning on the job! Rita will show you.”
“It’s simple,” Rita says, in a hurry. “See the console. You just press the appropriate switch and route the call to the appropriate person or agency.” And with these words she disappears. It’s the shortest training I have ever had in my life.
And so I plunge into the world of Life Process Outsourcing; or LPO as they call it.
It’s all very simple. Working people don’t seem to have time these days, but they have lots of money; especially those double income couples, IT nerds, MBA hot shots, finance wizards; just about everybody in the modern rat race. ‘Non-core Life Activities’, for which they neither have the inclination or the time – outsource them; so you can maximize your work-time to rake in the money and make a fast climb up the ladder of success.
“My daughter’s puked in her school. They want someone to pick her up and take her home. I’m busy in a shoot and just can’t leave,” a creative ad agency type says.
“Why don’t you tell your husband?” I say.
“Are you crazy or something? I’m a single mother.”
“Sorry ma’am. I didn’t know. My sympathies and condolences.”
“Condolences? Who’s this? Is this LPO?”
“Yes ma’am,” I say, press the button marked ‘children’ and transfer the call, hoping I have made the right choice. Maybe I should have pressed ‘doctor’.
Nothing happens for the next few moments. I breathe a sigh of relief.
A yuppie wants his grandmother to be taken to a movie. I press the ‘movies’ button. ‘Movies’ transfers the call back, “Hey, this is for movie tickets; try ‘escort services’. He wants the old hag escorted to the movies.”
‘Escort Services’ are in high demand. These guys and girls, slogging in their offices minting money, want escort services for their kith and kin for various non-core family processes like shopping, movies, eating out, sight seeing, marriages, funerals, all types of functions; even going to art galleries, book fairs, exhibitions, zoos, museums or even a walk in the nearby garden.
A father wants someone to read bedtime stories to his small son while he works late. A busy couple wants proxy stand-in ‘parents’ at the school PTA meeting. An investment banker rings up from Singapore; he wants his mother to be taken to pray in a temple at a certain time on a specific day.
Someone wants his kids to be taken for a swim, brunch, a play and browsing books and music.
An IT project manager wants someone to motivate and pep-talk her husband, who’s been recently sacked, and is cribbing away at home demoralized. He desperately needs someone to talk to, unburden himself, but the wife is busy – she neither has the time nor the inclination to take a few days off to boost the morale of her depressed husband when there are deadlines to be met at work and so much is at stake.
The things they want outsourced range from the mundane to the bizarre; life processes that one earlier enjoyed and took pride in doing or did as one’s sacred duty are considered ‘non-core life activities’ now-a-days by these highfalutin people.
At the end of the day I feel illuminated on this novel concept of Life Process Outsourcing, and I am about to leave, when suddenly a call comes in.
“LPO?” a man asks softly.
“Yes, this is LPO. May I help you?” I say.
“I’m speaking from Frankfurt Airport. I really don’t know if I can ask this?” he says nervously.
“Please go ahead and feel free to ask anything you desire, Sir. We do everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yes, Sir. Anything and everything!” I say.
“I don’t know how to say this. This is the first time I’m asking. You see, I am working 24/7 on an important project for the last few months. I’m globetrotting abroad and can’t make it there. Can you please arrange for someone suitable to take my wife out to the New Year’s Eve Dance?”
I am taken aback but quickly recover, “Yes, Sir.”
“Please send someone really good, an excellent dancer, and make sure she enjoys and has a good time. She loves dancing and I just haven’t had the time.”
“Of course, Sir.”
“And I told you – I’ve been away abroad for quite some time now and I’ve got to stay out here till I complete the project.”
“I know. Work takes top priority.”
“My wife. She’s been lonely. She desperately needs some love. Do you have someone with a loving and caring nature who can give her some love? I just don’t have the time. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”
I let the words sink in. This is one call I am not going to transfer. “Please give me the details, Sir,” I say softly into the mike.
As I walk towards my destination with a spring in my step, I feel truly enlightened.
Till this moment, I never knew that ‘love’ was a non-core life process worthy of outsourcing.
Long Live Life Process Outsourcing!
Good post!
I wish this is forwarded to every workaholic around !
Instead of reflecting they may resort trying for LPO infact, but atleast you find a solution dont u!
Could not view the page nov :?Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
KK 'ka, do u seriously mean EVERY workaholic? Then I guess I know whoz the FIRST one u forwarded it to..... :wink: :|Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
If at all this can be called a solution! :roll: :lol: :|Quote:
Instead of reflecting they may resort trying for LPO infact, but atleast you find a solution dont u!