Good ones shyam :D
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Good ones shyam :D
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by ksen
A Perfect Shot
A golfer stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity to his partner. He looks up, looks down, measures the distance and figures the wind direction and speed. The longer he takes, the more his partner fidgets.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball."
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," the partner says. "You’ll never hit her from here."
How long are these 'men suffering at the hands of woman' syndrome gonna tickle people?
lamby :rotfl: :mrgreen:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lambretta
but they are really funny..... :rotfl:
Please visit here (it's not a joke) :Quote:
Originally Posted by Meera-ssg
http://tfmpage.mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=12757
Hari was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 crores.'
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later she became his stepmother.
Please visit here :rotfl: :rotfl2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Meera-ssg
http://forumhub.mayyam.com/hub/viewt...r=asc&start=84
Perhaps this is what they meant by don't reveal all your cards.Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
:rotfl2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Prabhu Ram
No more jokes? :huh: :cry:
Wuz that fr me?Quote:
Originally Posted by jaaze
Hmmm.. Kinda. It answers your qn.. :)
:oops2: Just checked the link it points to another post
I wanted to show you the Vadivelu - Kovai Sarala fight in our hub
Looks like they got it deleted :argh:
Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.
2 women and a man are standing by a fast river when the grim reaper comes and says to them that either they cross the river or he kills them.
The first woman dives in and drowns immediately.
The second women jumps in and makes it half way across but drowns.
The grim reaper turns to the man, "now what will you do?"
the man says, "I'll go across the bridge."
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police. The man pokes his head out of the window and says "what seems to be the problem officer?"
The cop looks at him and says "are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about two minutes ago?"
The man let out a sigh "thank god for that; I thought I had gone deaf!"
[tscii]A redhead, brunette and blonde were on their way to Heaven.
God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step He’d tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldn’t enter heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blonde’s turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” God asked. “I didn’t tell a joke.”
“I know,” the blonde replied. “I just got the first one.”
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies: "I did ... today I'm taking them to the beach!"
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
How do you get a woman dizzy?
Put her in a circular room and tell her to go to a corner.
[tscii]
A beautiful female college student comes to a young professor’s office.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly, “I would do anything to pass this exam.”
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “… I would do…anything!!!”
He returns her gaze. “Anything???”
“Yes… Anything!!!”
His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you….. study???”
NOV anna, wr is the joke :?
:happydance: :happydance: :happydance:
the worse thing in telling a joke, is explaining the punchline.
so sarna, think of it as karma.... you are not destined to know. :P
ksen, enna aachu? :P
kismat konnekson :PQuote:
Originally Posted by NOV
:noteeth: ErkkanavE unga jokesukku hair-pichching icon kidaikkumaanu paathuttirundhEn :lol: SarnavOda kostin paaththadhum konjam kazhandiduchu :2thumbsup: :fishgrin:
1st neenga joke'a sollunga :) punch line'a paththi apram pEsikkalaam :happydance: :happydance:Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
http://dinamalar.com/fpnnews.asp?News_id=3270&cls=row3
எல் கணேசன் & செஞ்சி ராமச்சந்திரன் = திருவிழாவில் காணாமல் போன பிள்ளைகள் :-)
[tscii]A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!' and it didn't move."
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..... "Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Daaaaad... .."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later...... "Daaaa-\aaaad. ...."
"WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
[tscii]One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
:rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
at last... JOKES after a long time. :cheer:
A woman was at her hairdresser' s getting her hair styled for a trip to
Rome with her husband.
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're
crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental, " was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental? " exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're
always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River
called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place.
Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive,
But it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city!
The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced.
So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser.
"You and a million other people trying to see him...
He'll look the size of an ant."
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.
The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of Continental' s brand new planes,
But it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old
steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great!
They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel,
The finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's
suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good,
But I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican ,
A Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder,
And explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors,
And if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait,
The Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand!
I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said: "Oh my God, who cut your hair in such a horrid manner..he must be some nerd!!!:)"
My wife has a split personality and I hate both of them.
Losing a wife can be hard. I my case it was almost impossible.
I am in total control but don’t let my wife find out.
When making love most married men fantasize, their wives aren’t fantasizing.
I married Miss RIGHT. I did not know her first name was ALWAYS.
I've had bad luck wth both my wives.The first one left me, and the second one didnt.
I have not spoken to my wife in years. I did not want to interrupt her.
A man who says his wife can’t take a joke forgets that she took him.
I have been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years.
The average husband knows where n when he got married. What escapes him is why.
A few funny cartoons:
http://geekswithblogs.net/ram/archiv...nCartoons.aspx
:lol: