A car bumber sticker I read this morning :
I DON'T DISCRIMINATE
(I hate everyone)
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A car bumber sticker I read this morning :
I DON'T DISCRIMINATE
(I hate everyone)
Hypocrisy mbaaingaLE!Quote:
Originally Posted by app_engine
//ennanga app, jokes thread'la vandhu serious'aa pEsikkittu ?
☼☼ SIDE EFFECTS of working in the IT sector !!! ☼☼
__________________________________________________ ___________
Bhavik
I once left home to go to the market wearing my Infosys ID card
and did not realize till my friend asked me why I was wearing it !!!!
__________________________________________________ ___________
Bhabani
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys.
__________________________________________________ ________
Ashok
Few days back I slept at 12:00 in the night and woke up in the morning
at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 8 hours and
laughed at myself when I realized that I am at home.
__________________________________________________ ________
Jyotsna
Just after our training completion in Mysore and posting to Pune,
me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .
And as I finished.. I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..
__________________________________________________ _________
Abhijeet
Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around.
I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the status call?"
__________________________________________________ _______
Anup
I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc..
at my personal internet connection at home...
thinking it will be blocked any way.
Till I realize - I am at home.
__________________________________________________ __________
Rohit
Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also.
keeping hands in front of tap for waiting
water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.
I just forget that we have to turn on and off the tap....
__________________________________________________ __________
Nidhi
Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying,
" Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"
__________________________________________________ _________
Nisha
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message
from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it’s in the recycle bin
__________________________________________________ _____________
Nisha
I gave my office mail id and password to access Gmail and
wondered when they became invalid???
__________________________________________________ ________
Sandeep
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....
pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg.....
I replied 256mg....thank god he didn't notice.
__________________________________________________ __________
Ashwin
Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching
from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.
__________________________________________________ ___________
Vidyarthi
And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder,
decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie,
when I wanted to check the time,
I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the theatre screen!
// idhuvum seriousaa pEsara maadhiridhaan irukku :) //
//ksen, one mans food other mans poison'mbaaingalE.... adhu maadhiri.... illanaa... ellaarukkumE Goundamani comedy pudikkanumE.... oru silarukku goundamani is the best comedian in tamil cinema.... innum oru silarukku, he is the worst comedian in tamil cinema...taste differs //
Kids Are Quick
____________________________________
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right..... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
______________ ___________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
..........Quote:
Originally Posted by PARAMASHIVAN
:-)
Manmohan Singh - We are sending Indians to the moon next year...
Obama - Oh! How many???
Manmohan Singh - 100...
35 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 10 handicapped, 5 sports quota, 4 minority & if possible....1 astronaut.......
idhaan dark humoura?
I saw a sign on a Car window , which says
" Wife and Dog Missing, £1000 reward for finding the dog"
:rotfl2:
Women Friends chatting in office
Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!
Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is.
old one nov. puthusa sollunga
:lol:... nice one..Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
Sarna,Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarna
Nice try there but if you cared to notice, the only person who found your "jokes" funny is you :)
good...............Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
:rotfl: .......
Quote:
Originally Posted by venkkiram
மாகி (Maggi) செய்வது எப்படி ?? - முகநூலிலிருந்து...
புதிய முறை :
1) நூடுல்ஸை தண்ணீரில் கலக்கவும்.
2) அடுப்பில் வைக்கவும்.
3) இந்தியாவின் Test 2nd Innings batting ஐ பார்த்துவிட்டு வரவும்.
4) மாகி கிட்டத்தட்ட தயாராகிருக்கும்.
A pastor decided to visit his church members one Saturday. At one house it was clear to the pastor that someone was home, but nobody came to the door. The pastor knocked several times and finally took out his card and wrote on the back:
Revelation 3:20 - "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with me."
The next day the card showed up in the collection plate. Below the pastors message was another scripture passage.
Genesis 3:10 - "I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself."
Nurse: How old are you?
Patient: None of your business.
Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records.
Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?
Nurse: Yes. Fifty.
Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?
Nurse: Zero.
Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age.
A mother called her son one Sunday morning, to get out of bed and get ready for Church.
He replied "I'm not goin'"
His mother said "Yes you are goin', so get out of that bed."
He replied "Give me ONE good reason why I should go."
She replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons....
1. I'm your mother, and I say you're goin'.
2. You're 40 years old, so old enough to know better.
3. You're the Pastor, so you need to be there.
A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in:
"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".
The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".
A pastor was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you boys doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course the pastor was scandalized. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten-minute sermon against lying beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the pastor began to think he'd really gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
The Mother Superior calls all the nuns together. She then says to them, " I must tell you something very serious. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
A nun in the back responds, "Thank God! I'm so tired of Guiness."
So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more.
ayyO paavam :D idhu pastor seasonaa :lol:
enna orae church vaadai... ramzan maasam?
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he had for a long time.
The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying
"Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an
animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
Bank Manager: Ellarum engge bank le loan edunge.... engge bank interest illame loan kuduppom.
Customer: Kudukerathum kudukeringe.. athe santhosema tan kudukelam le... yen interest illame kudukeringe???
================================================== ================
Tadika student 1: nambe teacher cigarette pudicha cancer varum nu sonnangele athu unmaiya da???
Tadika student 2: illeda nambe teacher nambele april fool panraange. cigarette pudicha pugai tan varum...... epdi da cancer varum.....
================================================== ===================
STUDENT: sir parunga en thalaila oru erumbhu yeruthu...
SIR: adha yenda enkitta solra?
STUDENT: neenga thanae sonninga, en mandaila onenumae yerathunu..
================================================== =====================
Teacher: Dear students ellarum future le padichu mudinchu appuram enna panne poringe....?
Students: Book'eh moodi vaikelamnu irukom teacher!
================================================== ==================
MAN 1 : Un paiyan appadiye unne urichi vacci poranthurukan da..
MAN 2 : Nathari.. methuva pesuda.. avan pakkatu vidtu paiyan!
================================================== ======================
Ennathan veedu, vaasal, sottu, bangla, tottam nu rich'ah vaalnthalum TRAIN erena oru naaliku platform'ku vanthu tan agenum!
I yam bored. Let me try a homemade joke, a dig on this thread's title.
-------
Dude A: They say an apple a day will keep the doctors away.
Dude B: You kidding me, right?
Dude A: No, it's true. I'm serious.
Dude B: Okay, I'm getting a basket.
Dude A: Ah, anticipating some disease are we?
Dude B: No, my wife is doctor.
:lol:..... good one..Quote:
Originally Posted by groucho070
indha joke'a oru post-it'la ezhudhi mirror'la otti vainga...Quote:
Originally Posted by groucho070
Nevaire! I like Apple cider. Apple pie. Even the apple between the roasted pork's mouth.Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSword
cider?? uvve... one thing i cannot drink unless the only drink partner is a gal...Quote:
Originally Posted by groucho070
Thambi Venkiraja's recent fb status
-----------------------------------------
4 out of 5 girls' statuses reads:
aww!! today had loaadsss of fun with nisha,isha, misha & gusha ♥♥...also stay at dundu's house wass awesumm...thnk u shoo muchh dundu :))) u r shoo shweet !! cant frget u guyyysss...:D :D and tuttuu ...will missh u shoo muchh :(( ...hugss. (other blah blahs) ♥♥ !!
followed by (Sachin knows for what) Pinki, Rinki, Minki and 35 others like this and 142 comments!
Copy and spread the message so that we don't have to view shit on our wall everyday !!
The names Gusha, dundu ....:rotfl: ////////
You want to know what is REAL tension?
Read on...
A beautiful girl asks lift from you. On the way she faints and you take her to hospital.
Doctor says ‘Congrats. You are going to become a father.’
You get tensed..... but, that is not real tension!
You say that the baby isnt yours.
Girl says – ‘he is the father of my baby.'
You get tensed..... but, that is not real tension!
Police come and DNA test is done. Report comes, which says that you can never become a father.
You get tensed..... but, that is not real tension!
Anyhow you thank God and prepare to return home.
And then it occurs to you, “At home I have 2 kids. Whose are those?
Now this is REAL tension!
A woman had 3 girls. One day she decides to Test Her Sons-in-law ...!!!...
She invites the first one for a stroll by the lakeshore, purposely falls in and pretends to be drowning. Without any hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in and saves her.
_ The next morning, he finds a brand new Toyota car in his driveway with this message on the windshield :
“ Thank you ! Your mother-in-law who loves you ...!!!...
_ A few days later, the lady does the same thing with the second son-in-law. He jumps in the water and saves her also. She offers him a new Honda car with the same message on the windshield :
Thank you ! Your mother-in-law who loves you ...!!!...
_ A few days later, she does the same thing again with the third son-in-law. While she is drowning, the son-in-law looks at her without moving an inch and thinks : ” Finaly ! It’s about time that this old witch dies ...!!!...
_ The next morning, He Receives a brand new Ferrari car with this message :
" THANK YOU !
Your father-in-law.
Once I was in a bank in cambodia , my client place . The IT manager of the bank , who is great friend of mine was there with me .
On finding a serious problem in logic , I said "Jesus Christ" ..Immediately he asked me seriously "Why Jesus cries?"
You should go to a cider mill and have it along with the hot doughnuts they serve, while listening to the live band playing country music!Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSword
WOW!
Each drink should be tasted in its appropriate venue :-) (BTW, please visit IR-SPB thread for a post on this :wink:)