A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

Kissing a woman on her FOREHEAD is Respect
On her LIPS is Love
CHEEKi s Heroism
NECK is Lust

BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY :shock:

good jokes

:lol: :lol:

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether
any 're
-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

ROTFL...Thanks NOV:-)

:lol:

Once upon a time , there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river.


Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood ( the woodcutter and the axe )


He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.



As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "


Is this your computer ?


" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "


No, not at all !!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sarna_blr

Once upon a time , there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river.


Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood ( the woodcutter and the axe )


He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.



As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "


Is this your computer ?


" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "


No, not at all !!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

---

:)

I really enjoyed this

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha

:)

I really enjoyed this

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SP akka, do u know the moral of the same story... :roll:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NOV

In a semi posh hotel somewhere in China.....

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia , which was recorded and published.

(To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.)


Room Service (RS) : "Morrin. ; Roon sirbees."

Guest (G) : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS : " Rye ..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor
sunteen??"

G : "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS : "Ow July den?"

G : "What??"

RS : "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS : "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G : "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G : "What?"

RS : "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G : "I don't think so."

RS : "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G : "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS : "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G : "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS : "We bodder?"

G : "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS : "Wad! ?"

G : "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS : "Copy?"

G : "Excuse me?"

RS : "Copy...tea...meel?"

G : "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS : "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy.... rye??"

G : "Whatever you say."

RS : "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."

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:sigh: I would rather stay hungry than go thro all that :cry: