Marriage.....

Long Engagement? But what if they find out that they can't stand eachother? And it happens again with the next person? :o :P

I think that ppl should start living for themselves, and not publisize their business to society by getting engaged. Live together, if it works out, and both want to get married. then do it. If not, then leave. If it does work out and u still just want to live together, then do that too. It's ur life, don't live it for society. Society isn't in ur shoes living ur days. Screw what society thinks, live how you want (this is considering that u don't have a fetish for slamming hammers into ppl's heads etc) :P

I think that if ppl ignored what society thought, and lived lives for themselves, then that itself will cause a decline in marriage rates! :)

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Originally Posted by ssanjinika

Solona,Badri - What kind of company do you (your hubby) keep??!!!Sorry if I sound harsh..but thats just plain disgusting!
Surya - agreed that infidelity has increased quite a bit but then why punish marriage for that?If you are sure that you wantto remain with this one person for the rest of your life,that this is the perfect partner for you ,you should grab hold of her/him and never let go.How can infidelity be a problem if both of you are sure that you only want this one person?

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I told in my post that this guy acted RAMAN in front of the others, sort of telling ennama tired irukkiya, tablets venouma stuff to his wife in front of everyone. When I came to know about his real self I keep distance with them. I am unhappy because I liked his wife very much.
Coming back to Surya's point, live in relationships are very common here where I live. Almost 60% of the couples I know(European) live that way, It is good for their culture and their style of living etc, but in India we cannot even imagine these things. we have our morals, lifestyle and life codes which are not compatible with these western way of living. I am a bit kattupatti in these things, my SIL lived that way and got married last year with a spanish guy, it took me really long time to accept that. I don't know why. But a european couple living that way I accept more easily!
It is good to know about the person and his real self before getting married.

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Coming back to Surya's point, live in relationships are very common here where I live. Almost 60% of the couples I know(European) live that way, It is good for their culture and their style of living etc, but in India we cannot even imagine these things. we have our morals, lifestyle and life codes which are not compatible with these western way of living. I am a bit kattupatti in these things, my SIL lived that way and got married last year with a spanish guy, it took me really long time to accept that. I don't know why. But a european couple living that way I accept more easily!

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But the only reason ppl (Desies) don't do it, is because society frowns upon those who do. But who cares about society? Once ppl stop caring about Societies Opinion then culture will change. Living together before marriage will no longer be taboo, or will no longer be frowned upon.

Even here, living together before marriage was frowed upon @ one point in time. It isn't anymore. Societies change. Definitions for "Morals" and "Life Codes" change! :)

In this case, my opinion is that it has changed for the good! 8-)

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Originally Posted by ssanjinika

Solona,Badri - What kind of company do you (your hubby) keep??!!!Sorry if I sound harsh..but thats just plain disgusting!

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SS: one may not always be in a position to choose mates! Especially when you travel on a business trip to a foreign country, and are forced to share accomodation with colleagues from work.

If you are still going by the adage "Tell me your company and I shall tell you who you are", you are hopelessly in the Dark Ages.

Wake up! This, sadly is reality - both the rampant infidelity and this lack of choice of choosing ones colleagues!!!!

PS:oops, just realized! Mates - not as in lifemate or anything like that. Mates as in friends

Accepting the yoke of marriage bond needs courage, sincerity, unselfishness, taming of the beast within & showing consideration for the fellow human beings called society. A new generation of backboneless humans is evolving unaware of fine nuances of intimate relationship which can't be expected to be found in a "free" contract. What is it to anyone? How does it affect me? What a thoughtless, superficial way of interpreting/understanding the reasoning power man is endowed with! What more can be expected from people who opt to go down to the bestial style of living?The feeling of being fed up with the topic which is the fashion for long is inescapable!

The misunderstanding about marriage is..people think that a man and wife are husband and wife only if they undergo a ceremony. Marriage does not need to be done through ceremonies or functions as implemented by religions,cultures and traditions. If a man and woman decide to live together and want to share their life they are already married...whether they want to have a ceremony to announce their marriage or not is their wish.

The idea of living together which is marriage in itself is certainly not against morals, values or anything...the decision of a man and woman living together was what established them as husband and wife..its only after the arrival of religions and cultures and traditions then did humans announced marriage as a ceremony to officially announce them as husband and wife.

It just happens that Asians have lived with the marriage ceremony makes you husband and wife concept permanently that they are unable to accept what happens in westernised and european countries as not against morals and values.

It is wrong to impose marriage on humans to live together with their loved one as it is just a ceremony to announce them as official husband and wife to the world. Its unbelievable how religions cultures and traditions have brainwashed so much that we think undergoing a marriage ritual means being married. if undergoing a marriage ritual means being married then GOD would have asked the first man and woman to undergo a marriage ritual when he created them...he did not and considered them man and wife for the mere fact of them living together. Letus accept those who live together as married too and not refer to traditions religions and then decide whether they are married or not. :exactly:

Religion or rituals are not important. But it is important to have a formal acknowledgement, be it a certificate from the registrar's office or the event of a considerable number of witnesses from kith & kin. Just as we abide by the laws of a government we created for our own good it is reasonable that we are answerable for our actions to the society we are part of. Civilisation is responsibility. No good outcome shall be expected from shirking it!

I agree for the certificate most probably registry of marriages but the basic fact remains that once they both live together its considered they are married.

Religions are just a belief of how humans should lead life...before religions came into view morals and values already existed and religions themselves are a different modifications of this morals and values. So even if they did exist or not humans can still live...same goes for rituals which come from religions/traditions/culture etc. Now even tax payings,insurances do not need both to be married to be given and are based on individual human rights rather than the basis of marriage. Times are going good nowadays :D

Btw civilisation cant be applied here as even uncivilised acts like extra marital affairs, adultery fornication happens even if a man and woman are "officially" married. Civilisation should be applied to a man or woman's mindset or thinking. Of course if a man or woman is living together people are bound to know this is happening probably their parents or friends.

As i said earlier even the government accepts a man and woman living together which is already happening in western and european countries. It is just governments who are still religionly focussed such as Asian countries like pakistan etc that do not accept this.

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Originally Posted by ssanjinika

Surya - agreed that infidelity has increased quite a bit but then why punish marriage for that?

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:exactly: :yes: :ty: :thumbsup: :bluejump: 'nuff emoticons I think......phew!
Oh, and yea, herez a little 'gift' from my side for ur sane statement:

http://amicale.com/spitfire/images/herald/vitesse1.jpg

:wink: 8-)