I am sorry to hear that scorpio! :( :(
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I am sorry to hear that scorpio! :( :(
In India Bihar tops in violence against women. There harassments and killings for dowry are very common.
Well, here is one of the incidents which I can never put off from my mind.
I was around 15, my nails had always been blue. So mom and dad were worried, if it has anythign to do with HEART PROBLEM. Bindas I was, not worrying about the consequences or the seroiusness of it. My parents chose not to tell about it too.
We had this famous heart surgeon/consultant near our house. He was a man of around 30 - 35. He had his own clinic near our place.
My mom did not say, whats gonna happen (probably knew not or was clueless herself) and I happily went inside to be checked by the doc.
Doc asked my mom to be out. Mom was initially uncomfy, later had to obey. Doc initially HAD NO NUSRSES OR ANYONE TO HELP HIM. He wanted to take ECG for me. (whatever it is, i am not sure about the medical terms, it was an instrument, to be kept near the chest area.)
I was asked to remove clothes, and doc without ANY NURSE did every check by himself.
It was not violence. PROBABLY he DID HIS DUTY. But for a 14 year old, with no one in the room, NOT EVEN A NURSE, being checked by a male doc, initimately.., IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY not so healthy.
I am nto sure, if many would agree with me, BUT I WAS EXTREMELY IRRITATED, SCARED, CAME HOME AND CRIED TO MOM. She was helpless who then said, "may be I should have stayed!"
I was certified normal. i AM 300 PERCENT SURE, doc was a normal guy, who DID NOT intend doin any harm to me.
But, a 14 year old WILL NOT UNDERSTAND THAT. I would have been happy if he had asked my mom to stay, or had a nurse to do it.
I may sound queer, conservative, but yes, I could not forgive that doctor for YEARS.
I feel I am elaborating too much on such topics, just wanted to mention here, that VIOLENCE can be even psycological in nature.
thx..again
I hope DOCTORS have these in mind. thanks.
From recent newpaper reports, the maximum number of professionals who abuse their clients seem to be teachers and doctors. These are two professions, we have accorded the maximum respect. I guess worms always find their way into apple.
Hey Shakti....that's not being overly conservative...that's common instinct kicking in...even if the doc was pure he should have a nurse by him.. and ecg on first visit...that's kinda drastic...i know one of my friends kept avoiding going to the doctor...the doc was a family friend but it got to the point she was feeling uncomfortable with a male doc finally i introduced her to my fam. doc (femme) and luckily too cause she had been suffering from a thyroid problem that she did not know of until she went..as for blue nails....i still get them...i always have cold,moist hands and feet....doctor says it's cause im anaemic(iron deficiency)
It is not at all related to profession. It depends only upon mentality. One of my relatives is also harassing his wife daily. He is also doctor. There is no rule that doctors and teachers do not have bad character.Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiganes
Well even if this thread is for violence against women, i thought of writing what i know regarding low BP and anemia.Quote:
Originally Posted by Querida
Well if you are suffering from low blood pressure, eat lots of vegetables/fruits. A multivitamin supplement will help. Taking large doses of iron tablets is not a better idea, coz your body needs very little amount of iron per day, but the iron consumption should be consistent even if its very less.
Proper food habits can eliminate such problems. If u have moist hands/cold hands i think uhave to increase the consumption of minerals (esp vegetables and eggs). Fish is a must. Be careful with salt consumption
Always learn to keep track of your body and dont forget to do a google search to know more about the kind of problems you have and the solution for them. All these advice is for every one both young and old
In India women mainly face harassments by husbands or mother-in-law\father-in-law in home. Sexual harassments in office are less. Women need not fear to domestic harassments or harassments in office. Women can darely file complaint in police station against harassments. But women who do that are less.
Shakti,
really sorry to hear abt ur incident w/ the doc....I know how u felt, I can feel my hands trembling after reading it, believe me......inspite of being a guy! Whew! :shock:
I've had similar apprehensions abt male docs. examining women and had decided long b4 tat when I'd be married, I wud never take my wife- or daughter if I had one- to a male doc! I mean, u can't really tell their character in these matters!
And no I don't think u were being conservative or nething....I agree tat a male doc really shud've had a nurse around....I know tat in the US or even Sing., which r not conservative comp'd to India, its common for male doctors to examine female patients- even as gynaecologists! but I've heard tat there usually is a nurse in their presence when examining the patients....
Nevertheless, I'm quite surprised tat u had to go to a male doctor, even if u were young.....um, surely there were female doctors around in ur city in those days as well...?
Lol! Yevaru chepparamma? (Who sez so my dear?) :PQuote:
Originally Posted by mandangi
In fact fyi, harassment of women in offices tat r male dominated, or hav to work w/ male colleagues, is really the max. in sum cities.....sadly, even if women r in positions like IAS officers, they are harassed by Senior IAS officers!
There was even an article in 'Deccan Chronicle' (hyd. newspaper) last Dec. abt the increasing harassment of junior women IAS by senior male ones in Guwahati (Assam).....said tat sum of the women r forced to take transfer to other places while sum others r even forced to submit themselves to this treatment! Gawd! Tat is so pathetic! :x
And as 4 complaining to police against this, it said tat many of them did tat of course.....but not surprisingly, most of the IAS men hav connections w/ politicians and/or wield sum influence, so.......well u can guess the rest! :(
Damn! this really makes me wonder if India really is a 'democracy'?? :evil:
Shakti & Scorpio...sorry to hear abt those incidences! These seem to be a global problem, not only in India.. Sad, isn't it??:cry: :cry:
And I do agree with lordstanher, harassment of women in male-dominated offices is the max!! :( :(
NM !
Are there any female dominated offices? In India I can only think of some garment export units. They too have mojority female workers but the managers and supervisors are usually male. I have seen certain export units in Whitefield Bangalore. They arrange for the shoddiest means of transport for all their workers. They arrange the vals generally used for shifting houses. So people are herded in without having anything to hold on to. And people on the peripheru have to pray that they don't fall out of the van. These ladies have no other go as they will have the usual problems travelling my public transport.
Yes, JG, there are...I've been part of that too.......there are pros and cons, different kinds of problem but not harrassment :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiganes
I dont think it's an ECG test. I had undergone an ECG test myself, as my previous work place demanded a complete medical report from all their recruits. For an ECG, too many wires would be attached to your chest for a while. As long as I know every hospital has the ECG unit separately - separate from doctor's consulting room, and only the nurses and some other techinicians would get involved in such tests. In your case it would have probably been a normal test I guess - just to check your heart beat and breathing pattern.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
No not at all conservative!! Any 'ordinary' woman - especially at that age would react in a similar way. In your case you have cried to your mom once getting back home, but I have seen some girls crying at the doctors' itself - forcing the doctor to have a relative in - while examining.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthi
Thats good and encouraging to know !! :DQuote:
i AM 300 PERCENT SURE, doc was a normal guy, who DID NOT intend doin any harm to me.
Yeah true!!Quote:
But, a 14 year old WILL NOT UNDERSTAND THAT.
-deleted-
mod's msg: pls don't deviate or make light of this serious issue.
You do not sound queer or conservative,but have raised a seious issue related to medical ethics and the topic under discussion.I simply do not understand why he didn't have a female assistant present and asked your mother out!Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
I heard recently of a situation where male doctors carry out the mandatory physical examination of female aspirants for Indian Army posts.
When it happens to a 14 year old,I come close to calling it abuse.I too don't forgive him for not allowing your mom to stay.That is the least he should have done. :x
hey thx... all :)
Its nice to know...i am not obnormal u see :)
This incident, was NOT TAKEN BY ME EASILY... though I used to wonder, if i am making a moutain out of molehill...
anyway................roshan,not sure roshan, he had lot of wires, fixed with that instrument,was checking monitor, then me, then fixing refixing it again and agian on me..(sorry roshan, i am unable to proceed in detail)
:(
Shakti,
I just feel like whacking that guy! Didn't your mom confront the doctor? I can see how this incident has affected you!! To be honest, I started out writing my experince this morning but stopped and deleted the whole thing half-way cos' I can't bring myself to re-live the whole episode! I managed to put that incident at the back of my head but your experiences are just bringing back old memories!!!
Take care...& thanks for sharing your experiences..... :thumbsup:
No probs. I can udnerstand. But usually the ECG tests are carried out in a separate unit and only female nurses and technicians are allowed to handle female patients.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
So you ladies thought it happens only to girls?It's child abuse and nothing else.I feel like saluting SP for being brave enough to come out with something like this.Not many people do it.The victim always live a teen age so hellish with a scarred mind while he/she has done nothing to deserve it!I can only understand NM too well.
If I have a daughter one day,I feel I have to think many times before taking her to a male doctor. :x
well blah blah,
It can be otherway too. There are many women, who take adv of beign a woman. I am sure all mustve seen 'sigappu rojakkal'.
Stories are not just out of nowhere. It portrays real life in many cases.
It is such a shameful thing to think, that MOTHERS OF THESE DAYS, are too careful about child abuse, (as young as 3 or 4 year old children) that they dont even let any distant relative carry the child. :(
Feeling sad bout the scenario. One becoems sceptic about everything, every situation and every person around. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY.
I wonder what else is the solution ?!?
Recently, my freind had her 6 yera old daughter complaining of indecent touches by the GYM owner :(
My friend WAS UNBABLE TO initially handle it. Then she I guess, spoke to that guy(though he had explannations reg the same), and to her daughter.
When the child is small enought that they cant express, many men(or women too?!? ..not sure) take adv. SICK AND SAD.
Sad that mothers need to educate a child about BAD AND GOOD TOUCHES at the age of 6!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
Where are we heading? :(
so much for indian culture!
Oops!Not too sure about that Indian culture part.In western culture,it is probably more than what we see in ours.
It is only a child's right to discover his or her identity in this world without having to carry the burden of other people's sins.
And I feel outraged to hear such incidents as I am sure that all these children will virtually spent their childhood in shame and humility,which they certainly don't deserve.They feel the guilt all the way,while they are only victims!
And as you said it is very unfortunate that a mother has to teach a six year old about good and bad touches.
Exactly !! Good you came out with it coz, I was planning to discuss on that too. I have seen by myself and have heard from various people about these kind of perverted women who try to hang on their male superiors with the idea of getting increments, promotions and various other benefits. :x This kind of perverted behaviour of these women gives a bad impression about the other women too.Quote:
Originally Posted by shakthi
:evil:
I saw a news item recently about a female teacher in Australia - who was accused of sexual abuse of one of her male students who was around 12. :twisted: Sickening creachers ! :twisted:
[quote="RoshanI have seen by myself and have heard from various people about these kind of perverted women who try to hang on their male superiors with the idea of getting increments, promotions and various other benefits. :x This kind of perverted behaviour of these women gives a bad impression about the other women too. :evil: [/quote]
Yea I agree whole-heartedly! :)
I'm sure I'm not the only one whoz heard of those boss-secretary stories! I'd even read in the local paper tat secretaries behave like tat and even dress the way they do so the boss won't regard them as 'nobodys' or 'wimps'......tats of course considered part & parcel of the promotion/bonus idea from their side! Y go 4 such jobs then?! Sick ppl.! :evil:
Um....not many offices but public schools in India r more or less 'female-dominated' workplaces.....nearly all of the teachers there r women, and the Principals r also in most cases women so I (personally) think tats one of the jobs 4 women in India where they seldom face ne interference/troubles, as opposed to the ones where males r the majority/superiors......just IMHO!Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiganes
Conversely, one of my lecturers here in sing. told me abt countries like Australia where there r chances of males getting harassed in such workplaces..... sorry but I cudn't help finding it amusing to think abt it at 1st......cos we r more used to hearing abt women being at the receiving end! :)
It is better that schools are female dominated as we donot want young minds to get corrupted by some nuts. I had a Thamizh teacher who used to come to class fully drunk!! There were instances where he corrected mid term "French" papers in mabbu (influence) and one student got 110 out of 100 as our drunken monk gave 2 marks for 1 mark questions!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Cannot imagine a lady doing the same!!!!!
hey i wonder, how many watches hindi movies.
There is one recently about male harassing issue.
cast : akshay kumar, priyanka and kareena..in 'AITRAAZ'
(A remake of english movie 'DISCOURSE'-demimoore, douglas)
Hey Shakti i know it was said before but i really have to commend you for coming out and discussing a valid issue...again i do agree with Roshan about the testing...that's why i thought it was too drastic... i too have had an ECG (electrocardiogram) done when i was about seven for slight heart murmer...again female doc and lots of nurses...well mostly cause i was trying to get away! :roll: anyways let it be past..hope talking about has lessened some of the strife you have associated with the incident...
btw Davie thanx alot for the advice...will watch out for that...but i have been taking iron supplements which seem to be helping me :D
There are not only direct 'hang ons' but also indirect ones.
If they cant get anywhere near the boss, well you can then detect them within the 50m radius with the ppl the bosses are close to.
But then again, this indirect 'hang ons' are done by both the genders.
I think hangons such as the ones to get increments and promotions need not be between men and women. We all know that similar things happen every where, in tamil (kaaka pudikkuradhu) :) . We are always attracted by the opposite gender. I think its our innate human characteristic. Most of the dads like their daughters more than their moms and vice versa. We can notice many such kind of similar behaviors in humans. I think there is nothing wrong in all these. Exclude abnormal beings like the teacher that roshan was mentioning. I am just refering to mentally healthy human beings. Ratchasi was saying about direct and indirect kind of hangons. Well indirect never works most of the time :rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Roshan
Hi Sakthi Prabha,
There was no mistake from your side and hence you need not feel bad for being alone during medical examinations. Just forget it and go on with your life.
In few countries and remote places in India, the numbers of female doctors are very less. For the examinations of breast cancer and fetus growth during pregnancy, I had taken some of my family members to male doctors. I considered those doctors as a noble person and never had any suspicious thoughts about their professions. In all the case they ask some of the close family members to stay with the doctor in examination room. Even in case if a female patient is checked by male doctor alone as long as the doctor performs his noble duty, the patient need not to feel bad.
There are rare incidences in which doctors didn’t show the noble characters that profession needs. In such cases, the sufferer should be brave enough to expose such crooks in order to avoid suspicion on the entire doctor community. In such cases also the sufferer need not to feel bad about themselves because mentally they have not done any thing wrong. As long as one’s mind is pure, they need not feel bad about themselves.
Ok, let me come to another issue related to the women’s rights.
Recently Indian judicial system rejected that caste of mother can not be considered as caste of the child for a case of women who won the election from a reserved constituency in AP. I feel this is degrading the women’s right to have full right on their babies after divorce or re-marriage. It may discourage inter caste marriages too in future since it indirectly imposes the children need to follow father’s traditions.
Any comments?
My mother said that in those days they used to give reservations to OC women who marry SC\ST\BC men for encouraging intercaste marriages. Now that rule is removed. If not for discouraging intercaste marriages why did they remove that rule?Quote:
Originally Posted by r_kk
According to our law if a widow or divorcee remarries, children born by her first husband should not use surname of their step father and also not eligible to use reservation by caste of their step father. But they are having property right from their step father.
Here's a piece of news that's raised my hackles, People!!
In Pakistan today, a woman raped by 5 men a few years back was left in tears of outrage as her rapists were left off scot free, save for one fella whose conviction was a life-sentence!! :evil:
This was following an appeal by the defendants whose conviction was overturned by the Hight Court!
The woman in question was Mukthiar Mai, a young woman who was raped and tortured by these men on the orders of a tribal court because her brother had had an affair with one of the court officials' sister!!
Anyone else like to shed more light on this piece of news that had me gritting my teeth, so early in the morning??????!!!!!! :x
I know...I saw that news item too! Felt too angry to even say anything!! Even now, I feel so affected by it that I don't believe I can post anything coherently except to say that "barbaric" doesnt even come close to describe the incident and the people involved!!!
:x :x :x
What is this? 'Eye for an eye', 'Tir for tat' maadiri, 'rape for affair' -aa??
All this only points to a basic problem- Illiteracy. The way females from urban and semi-urban areas get empowered and have the courage to break their shackles, if only the rural and tribal women get educated, our society can escape from backwardness, atleast partially.
Did any of you read about a woman who came to the court bravely to point fingers at her own husband for having molested her five years back? The school girl who was forcefully married to her molester, lived with him, bore a child and came to the court when the case came for hearing five years later, to plead for punishment for her present husband who has spoiled her life. Guess what happened then? She was killed by her ex-molester, present husband for having spoken the truth! :twisted:
Contrasting piece of news is Bilkis Bano identified the accused in court yesterday. Truth is women can get justice only if women's group and political parties back them. Sadly women's group is not all that powerful to cover for each and every affected woman in this country. Only solution it seems is to set up women's support group legal cells at district level composed of only women advocates. These groups can provide legal security in cases where women are the victims.
niro and scorpio,
This is really sad and pathetic !! Lack of strict laws and corruption are major factors that help the culprits easily get away :twisted: Really sad !! :cry:
Months ago I saw a news in Junior Vikatan. There's this man in a village in TN - who is in his late 30s and married his niece(sister's daughter) who is just 9 years old. The man is already married and has children. When asked for the reason, he said, that he purposely did it to take revenge from his wife who had eloped with their neighbour (what a reason to give !! :twisted: ). The highlight is that he had re united with his wife later but doesnt want to send the poor little girl back to her parents. The worst and most annoying part is.. the wife says.. according to their custom once the 'thaali' is tide it can only be removed once the husband(?) is dead. She therefore says, the little girl has to remain as a wife of her husband but they'd take care of her as their daughter :twisted:
Intha kodumaiyai ennenRu solvathu.. :twisted: :cry: :cry:
Roshan,
Yeah, I too read that! :banghead:
Intha mathiri news laan engirunthu kidaikutho!!!
Times like this, Ignorance is bliss...the more you hear about things like this, the more irritated you become with the entire human race!!
I know, media is helping a lot, by bringing these atrocities to light, so that remedial measures can be taken, but at the same time, I can't help feeling it would be a wonderful thing if we never really heard things that churn your stomach and make you mad with rage!!!
I didn't know they are acquitted.The incident happened many months back when this Gujar woman's 11 year old brother was seen walking with a high caste Mastoi tribe girl,the sister of one of the accused.They were said to be romantically involved!So the Mastoi tribal court ordered that she be raped by the girls brother and afew others.Six people were condemned to death some months back and now I hear that they are acquitted! :?Quote:
Originally Posted by nirosha sen