A little boy went up to his father and asked :
" Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? "
His father replied : " Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine. "
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A little boy went up to his father and asked :
" Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? "
His father replied : " Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine. "
Paul's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
"Paul seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. "
The mother wrote back the next day :
" If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father ! "
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?".
Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped
Kuttappan on his face.
His dad told him "Son, this robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth, Why are you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie",
"Which movie?" "Thiruvilaiyadal",
Splatt
Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
"No dad honest I went for the movie starring Namitha."
Dad :"Shame on you son. When I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."
Splatt
The dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Kuttappans mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "Don't be hard on him. After all he is your son.......", to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan's mother's face.
A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old male chicken :sigh2:. As he feels that the old chicken could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young chicken from the market.
Old chicken to Young chicken : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.
Young chicken : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.
Old chicken : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?
Young chicken : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old chicken : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.
Young chicken : O.K. What kind of competition?
Old chicken : 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.
Young chicken : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young chicken allows the Old chicken to start off and when the Old chicken crosses the 10 meters mark the Young chicken chases him with all his might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old chicken back in a matter of seconds.
Suddenly, Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old chicken , he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth gay chicken I've bought this week !"
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."
Moral of the story is... the reply you get depends on the question you ask.
For example, if you want a vacation when still working on a project don't ask for the holiday; ask: "Can I keep working on this project while I'm on vacation?"
:rotfl:
:lol: :lol:
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered,'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
:lol:
the following amuse has a PG rating:
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and
have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your
husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled
and are listed below.
Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department
MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s
carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code
3′ in housewares….. and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding
department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
“Mission Impossible” theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his “Madonna look” using
different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while;
then, yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”