Shekhar,don't scare the prairie please.Remember that his time will come to be disillusioned.Even if you are going to hell it is better not to know it in advance :roll:
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Shekhar,don't scare the prairie please.Remember that his time will come to be disillusioned.Even if you are going to hell it is better not to know it in advance :roll:
:rotfl: :rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by blahblah
Well said! How is it that all the femme fatales (read more as fatal females than the usual sense) out there are all applauding, while it is the males giving the shoulder of support? That itself goes to show what a trap marriage is to the poor and unsuspecting male.
And yet, with all the discussions he has seen, heard and participated in, our JG is falling into the same trap as so many of us!
We men never learn, do we?
scorpio akka wrote:
It is one of the modus operandi to get more votes for Bangalore from Chennai. :wink: :lol:Quote:
one of my good-looking colleague told me that her marriage has been fixed to a software groom in Blore and marriage is in June n engagement next month.
Thanks shekhar and blahblah!
The tips were quite engrossing. Reading through the humour, I could guess what is instore for me, as like everybody else, I am going to make a new beginning with the assimilated experience of the hubbers like you guys.
Scorpio akka, she doesn't hub much and her hub is more in real time and less on the web. As I told you earlier, she is better prepared for this than me. So if you have any do's and dont's , It is me who needs it more, coz I am the tubelight , remember?.
scorpio akka also wrote:
haa! That is where Arranged Marriage comes to our rescue. It is more like going to market and buying the fish instead of waiting for a fish to take your line!! :lol:Quote:
Now it is time for you to share tips to others in the waiting list as to how to trap a bold, organised and intelligent engineer who is frank enough to care for lesser intelligent mortals!
Roshan wrote:
Not quite Roshan. not quite.Quote:
Oh Skekhar !! you helped me over come the disorientation
So much of wisdom in the hub on marital bliss!!! I need to compile all this sitting one whole day.
JG: I remembered one tip my cousin gave me before my wedding...I have failed to follow it on occassions but am decidedly wiser now...
"Never tell your wife she is wrong even if you have proof otherwise."
Sacred mantra, man! Chant it 108 times everyday till it integrates with your system.
badri wrote:
good one!!Quote:
"Never tell your wife she is wrong even if you have proof otherwise."
I have experience of telling my boss that he is wrong, but not when he is emotionaly charged, only in private and when he is in a mellow mood. This applies to everyone I guess. There is a time and place to do/say everything, even TRUTH!!
You can, but just take care of your body language and words you use.... She may not worry if any one else shouts at her but you... and she never can be a stubborn to continue things which you dont like..... and i believe this rule is not only for a wife.. but also husbands.. or even kids...Quote:
Originally Posted by badri
and Shekar and Blah(2) made the picture clear...
One was trying to be smart and for all his mischieves, he used to lie... (thinking that women are stupid enuf to believe them...) once or twice she may get cheated.. from the third incident.. even if u be honest .. she will think twice.
The other was trying to exaggerate incidents.. but anyway.. he found it out at last that she cannot be fooled so also...
do not lie, do not exaggerate.. just be yourself, be honest, as you would expect from her.
If u are planning to throw a party and sure that u are gonna be late, call her, tell her u will be late and have ur bash with friends.... and try to be home at the time you promised her... remember, she will be waiting for YOU alone..
If when u call home to say u will be late, she says there is something else important... you think twice.. you both should have the ability to prioritize things and mutually get convinced.... afterall you are not kids..but grownups.
A wife will only be proud of a husband when u share ur plans with her and be honest... and vice versa.
While Shekar and blahblah are bent on scaring the wits out of JG giving him all kinds of evil advice & dramatic domestic scenes, it is also good for JG to get a clear idea about feminine conclusions! Isn’t it better to dispel some illusions of male, brow-beating hypothetical situations and solutions? Without some insight into feminine logic- a unique kind- which no man has yet fully grasped or mastered, I am afraid. Other than the basic factor of luck which will make compatibility an easy matter, there is much diligent effort needed to tackle a twenty four hour, lifelong commitment. It is up to the husband to be resourceful in tackling shrewish tendencies- don’t women tackle the tyrannical male tendencies?
One useful bit of information I read today:
“There are three kinds of men who don’t understand women-young, old and middle-aged.”
Perhaps this ignorance is bliss, many men decide!!!
Pavalamani mme wrote:
Funny one but serious thought is behind this. Reflecting upon myself, I am not sure what kind of a person I am myself. As I see it people cannot be put in bottles of "Good", "Bad" or "Ugly". Everyday, whatever each individual faces, shapes him/her. This is the only conclusion I can come to. So if I am not sure and can define in one line what kind of person I am, I guess expecting to understand another person will be equally difficult, but the process should not be stopped, in my opinion. I will try to understand my future wife fully and I hope that she too will try to understand me without coming to pre conceived notions and judgements. I guess being truthful and honest is a key ingredient as it is only through truthful conduct can one open up for the other person to understand and vice versa.Quote:
“There are three kinds of men who don’t understand women-young, old and middle-aged.”
Perhaps this ignorance is bliss, many men decide!!!
So briefly summarizing the salient points gathered from all hubbers so far:
1. Being Truthful to partner.(from shekhar,blahblah, badri)
2. Being sensitive to partner.(from Cindy,pavalamani mme,shekhar)
3. Honouring commitments. (from Cindy)
4. Prioritizing and sticking to those priorities which are common (from Cindy)
Thanks for all those who have contributed to this and for those who are going to contribute in future.
I guess there is still a lot more to come from wise individuals of the hub.
Walrus anna! please take down these notes so far...
:thumbsup: That's the ultimate truth !!Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
OK, I have been joking...
On a serious note.. let me put in something with out any sugar coating.
For a marriage to be successful, depends on what type of persons husband and wife are.
If you are person who thinks you are always right, too egoistic to accept your faults and short comings, too insistive on other's duty forgetting yours, who ever you marry your marriage will be an utter failure.
If you are person of low self esteem, who feel threatened by any quality stuff around, who feel offended at every little thing, whether it is intended or not, who feel that if the other person is good in anything you will surface in bad light, then your marriage is bound to be on rocks.
If either of you are of questionable ethics, with suspect values, the marriage is bound to be hell.
If either of you are of deppressive nature, cynical, short tempered, taunting rather than talking, then your home will be a boxing arena.
If you are of high self esteem, considerate, doesnot censure the partner's weakness, take things lightly, have sense of humour, then there is a good chance of your marriage being successful, if the self esteem level of your partner is not far below yours.
And the most important thing, you can tell your spouse of his/her mistake dispassionately without hurting, but if you take it as your mission to REFORM your spouse, your marriage will go for a six.
If both of you are of high self esteem, in love with each other, uncesure of each others mistakes, with absolute trust, not too much demanding of each other, not too much dependent on each other, respect each others freedom, appreciative of each others positive qualities, then your marriage will be wonderful. You will grow in intimacy as the years pass. Believe me, I have seen such couple married for decades, still in romance. There is nothing more beautiful than such a relationship.
But let us face it, such combinations are rare. However 'good' you are and if your spouse is not, your marriage is bound to be a tragedy and however good your spouse is and if you are not, still the marriage will be a farse.
The wisdom lies in not aiming at perfect marriage, but to make the best of what you have, by sincerely making efforts to keep peace at home and bring as much joy as possible by avoiding conflicts, even if it means a lot of sacrifice.
So there you are...