Couple of reasons why you should'nt take Dowry

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Originally Posted by Shekhar

So all of you say I was wrong.

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No Shekhar you are absolutely right and you have once again proved that you are a Gentleman. I really appreciate you for not giving up your love in the name of caste and creed. Hats off to you :thumbsup:

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Between caste and son, they chose caste. It was their decision and they are responsible for it.

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Absoulutely yes !!

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Looking back, the whole thing sounds so absurd.
My wife became more close with my mother than with me. Any little issue she would run to my mother and I had to hear sermons and admonitions from my mother.

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These absurdities are very common. Just because they are parents it doesnt mean everything they do or think is correct . I have seen parents making absurd and wrong decisions - specially regarding their children's marriage and ruining their whole life.

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Now both my parents are dead. My self and my parents, both lost 3 years of mutual relationship. Should I carry the guilt? .

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You dont have to ! Just be proud of yourself !

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Originally Posted by hehehewalrus

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Originally Posted by visu

Walrus brother!
In our place elders give "moi" only after falling at their feet. :)

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Unga area-la Ushaar partygal rombave jaasthi :cry:

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Ange mattum illai ingeyum taan! :lol:

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My God! what a miscommunication! My comment was in response to censure on 'Westernised marriage, where parents are invited as guests', and leaning towards old cultural style marriage. I have objection to neither. It was a response mainly to PP Mam's comment and other's response to PP mam's comment.
Regarding my views on dowry, if you haven't perceived it what can I do. I thought it wouldn't be difficult for anybody to understand the difference between what I say in light humour, and what I believe.

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Thank you for that clarification i thought i did understand what you believed until i read this post....anyways maybe you can quote the pertaining passages so you know the gurls can understand what you're saying...all that extra typing and thinking left me speechless....for about a second too long :P

Did a bit of research on the dowry concept! It is amazing why the concept came about!!!

The Manu Dharma Shastras declare that there are 7 forms of wedding - Brahma, Daiva, Arsha, Rakshasa, Paisacha, Gandharva etc.

Some like Gandharva is your typical love marriages where the man and woman enter into the agreement and get married. It is absolutely legit and sanctioned by the sastras, no matter what parents might say or feel about it.

But of the seven, only 4 are legal, the other 3 considered unlawful or barbaric. One is when the woman is drugged or asleep, and the man marries her or ravishes her. This is declared inhuman and barbaric and rightly so. The other is when the groom gives money to the girl's parents or guardians and takes a bride. This has been declared illegal, as it is akin to prostituion. In fact, the Manu shastra condemns it saying it is selling the daughter for money. To dissuade greedy fathers from selling their daughters for wealth, they law makers of the day said the best marriage was when the girl's father approaches the groom after carefully examining his credentials and then offers the girl along with jewelry for her.

This way, selling the daughter was totally abolished. So, dowry started off as a good enough concept intended to protect the woman, but turned ugly thanks to the greed of men, like all other good things!

Badri, just a small correction. There are eight types of marriages, not seven.

Rite of Brahmana (Brahma) - where the father of the bride invites a man learned in the Vedas and a good conduct, and gives his daughter in marriage to him after decking her with jewels and costly garments.

Rite of the Gods (Daiva) - where the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly officiates at a sacrifice during the course of its performance of this rite.

Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom.

Rite of the Prajapati - (Prajapatya) where the father gives away his daughter after blessing the couple with the text "May both of you perform together your duties"

Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.

Rite of the Gandharva - the voluntary union of a maiden and her lover, which arises from desire and sexual intercourse for its purpose.

Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.

Rite of the Pisaka - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally imbalanced or handicapped.

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Originally Posted by a.ratchasi

Ange mattum illai ingeyum taan! :lol:

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Alrite then, bend as frequently as possible - spinal cord surgery is costly these days :P

AR: I stand corrected! Thank you for posting the information.

Just to add, there have been debates about the Arsha method

Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the brightgroom.

But the lawmakers stated that this was not akin to selling, as the cow and bull were given only for conducting sacrificial rites, and this was more a gift.

ratchasi,

the concept of Prajapati marriage is simple and good. Had it been practised as a routine, killing of girl babies wouldn't have become true at all.

Anyway, my vote is for Rite of the demons only.. :wink:

Akka: It is the Asura marriage which was banned, as it led to sale of women!

Surprising that you prefer that!!!


The three banned marriages are

Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.

Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.

Rite of the Pisaka - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally imbalanced or handicapped.

The fact that the three were banned shows how much women were actually respected in the past, contrary to all popular beliefs, as each of these three violate the right of a woman either by force, fraud or bribery.

Badri thambi,

That was on a light note , as I have 2 daughters you see.. :wink: