seriously... :?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
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seriously... :?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
100 reasons...and still it puts women in a bad light... :roll:
Ladies let us forgive those who are too easy to amuse :P
*Bumper Stickers*
Welcome to America ..... Now speak English
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people: Everybody, But Me."
If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."
Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself...
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
A patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $200,000. For a female brain, $500,000."
Some of the younger female relatives tried to looked shocked, but all the women nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price betweem male and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice." said the head of the team. "Men's brains have to be marked down because they have been used."
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
:rotfl:
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."
The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst ever time there with a woman."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
Long ago, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, forgot laughter was called "saint."
Today such people are called.. "IT professionals."
A sentence on the back of a Biker's T Shirt :
"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off."
Most Relationships fail not because of absence of love.
Love is always present.. Its just that, one loves too much and and the other loves too many.