Does Love Exist?

Ok on a serious note let me quote an example from my family.

In my family one cousin sister and another cousin brother did love marriage. The first one happened way back in the year 1992. My family had looked a guy for her but she liked a guy who lived down the street and he was a Muslim. My family didn't know about their love. I can very confidently say that there would have been no way in the world my family would have accepted thier marriage. They eloped away and married and she got converted to a Muslim. It was met with huge resistance but later her parents and brothers gave up their resistance and they are living happily now. They have 2 kids. My B-I-L is a gem of a guy who insists on not using cell-phones, drives an old scooter and doesn't give out money for interest.

My another cousin got married to a Hindu girl in 2007. His love dated as far as from the 1997 when they both attended XI in the same school. They were loving each other for the past 10 years. Initially there was a little bit resistance but finally things managed to smoothen out and now they are married and have a kid now.

In atleast these two cases I know Love marriage is successful(inter religious) and they are living happily and I am happy for them that they made the right choice for them :D.

master i am not backing out.. neenga thaan literal meaning eduthuttu athayae pidichittu irukeenga..

See 2 of my posts which i posted before.. thirumba thirumba naan eththana thadava thaan athayae sollrathu :sigh2:

neenga nijamaavae purinjikalayaa, illa purinjikaatha maathiri nadikireengalaa..

If first is the case i accept i am not good in explaining :)

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

Shakthi, Hamid and others...

ithu love illayaa nu oru example koduththu kaekureenga .. naan athu kidayaathu from my point of view la sollraen silapoints vachchi solraen.udanae topic divert panrathaa sonnaa enna artham..

illa athu love thaanu mudinjaa neenga aaniththaramaa points vaendaamaa :huh: :roll:

i am trying to come with some answers..but my doubts and questions or still left unanswered... For example one below..

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

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Originally Posted by hamid

when people say love is a feeling.. u said thr is no love.. just lust etc..

then what is the name of the feeling they had? is it not love???

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Perusaa onnum illa.. u know here people gets attracted towars Shriya's, anushka's etc.. for girls Maddy's, siddharth, etc. they know everyone cant get they really like..

They are getting settled with what they get :shaking:

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Regarding Topic...
Not sure why everyone taking the literal meaning of that ...

Kadavul illainnu solra Kamalhaasanae thaan Anbe Sivam nnum solraar.. Athula enna muranpaadu irukku ?

Kaathal illainnu sonnaen.. Most cases (say 99.9999999 % :? )) in a relation between boy and girl there is no love... it is a combination of lust/desire/ attraction / selfishness / etc which people term as love..

exceptional cases ellaathulayum irukku.. atha consider pannittu.. 2 post la mudikirathukku ethukku oru discussion :hammer:

love paththi supportive aa paesinathula paarunga evvalavu kuzhappam...

oru silar like Sathya, pure love, love, perfect love nnu pala forms irukkunu solraanga..
Shakthi.. Pure love nnu ellaam onnum illainnu sonnaanga... there is only love..nothing else nnu solraapla..
hamid.. love irukku..aanaa athu stupidity nnu solraapla..
innum konjam paerukku entha mudivukkum vara mudiyaama enna question panrathulayae time spend aayittu irukku :roll:

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

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Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha

We cant find PURITY in any kind of emotionally bound relationship. These are tangible , ie cant be measured and keeps changing. Why dont u complain about parents who forget to shower affection to kids or kids who forget to talk few caring words to parents? Or freinds who turn their faces away ? or siblings who curse each other?

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correct thaan... but say for example.. Mother - son/daughter relation.. at least from mother side in many cases it is not a selfish one.. expecting something in favor of the love / affection she shows towards his kid.. atha maathiri innum pala relation la u can find a considerable amount of people...

But only in the case of love as per topic such unselfish and unconditional affection cases is extremely low or nil.. That is the only relation which does not care (mostly) abt the surroundings.

BTW i am not complaining or pin pointing.. I am also part of all these relations..

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Originally Posted by Benny Lava

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

kaNdavar viNdilar, viNdavar kaNdilar ellaam sarithaan but enough to establish a non-existing phenomenon! kudikkaathavangalUkku bOthai eppadi irukkumnnu theriyaathu, athu anupavichchi aRiya vENdiya vishayam- athu maathiri luvvu-nnaa, sorry, can't get convinced!!!

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But enough to dismiss it as a non-existing phenomenon??? No way!!! :lol:

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Not totally non-existing, but non-existing in the general 'affairs' we see/hear.

What a majority of younsters rave about as vivarikka mudiyaatha, dhyveega uNarvu is a pathetic delusion!!!

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Kaathal illainnu sonnaen.. Most cases (say 99.9999999 % )) in a relation between boy and girl there is no love... it is a combination of lust/desire/ attraction / selfishness / etc which people term as love..

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This is what I'm talking about. How did you arrive at 99.9999999%? If this shouldn't be taken literally, then what were you implying?

Love is something serious, deeper, and comes with commitment, accountability, responsibility, understanding, sacrifice, surrender, loyalty etc etc etc. Today's 'lovers' are alive only to the call of primal instincts only and intellect or sense takes a back seat! :lol:

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Originally Posted by littlemaster1982

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Kaathal illainnu sonnaen.. Most cases (say 99.9999999 % )) in a relation between boy and girl there is no love... it is a combination of lust/desire/ attraction / selfishness / etc which people term as love..

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This is what I'm talking about. How did you arrive at 99.9999999%? If this shouldn't be taken literally, then what were you implying?

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ennoada school days la irunthu eppadiyum oru 100 + examples naan paarthirupaen.. enakku therinji ethuvumae love illa...

naan yaerkanavae sonna pala factors thaan..

nee vaenumnaa 95 % nnu eduthukko.. But the fact is it is rare. Of course imo..

in ur life u would have come across the divine thing called love without the factors i mentioned in lots of cases then u are free to say so or believe so.

yappa.. thread pala thisaiyila payanikkuthu pola :lol:

TM,
u r changind stands :notthatway: But, that was enough said already and u indirectly accepted that too.. so letz move on to the next topic..

the percentage of true love (or exceptions as per ur view) in soceity..

thr is no way we can arrive at a % for tht.. but yes.. thr is a big increase in the so-called loves offlate.. and it is not good for the soceity..but terming it as 99.999999% ellam romba oovar... a pure pessimistic view.. ellame thapputhaannu nambikittu/mudivu pannnittu paarkira paarvai.. ithuvum samuukathuku nallathilla..

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Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha

The thread has deviated much away from its "actual title"

"Does love exist"

talk here goes on ONLY ABOUT current trend of love wanting to get into marital lock.

Love also 'exist after marriage' even when the said 2 ppl were strangers before. Nobody wants to talk about this I assume.

Title can be comfortably c hanged as

"Is love BEFORE MARRIAGE qualifed enough to have a strong bond"

avlo thaan.

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Deivameeee Thanks for pointing-out this :bow:

Thiru,

Even I'm not saying love is divine or it is a holy cow which shouldn't be derided at. IMO, we cannot arrive at some numbers based on our experiences. As simple as that.

Itthudan naan ungalidam irundhu vidai perugiren. Nandri vanakkam :wave:

P.S: 100%-lerndhu 95% vandhirukkeenga. That's some improvement :P

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Originally Posted by ajithfederer

Hey Cancer

1. I'm not in any side.

2. Avoid Typing in Caps.

3. TM doesn't say that arranged couples are living in heaven either. In fact his stance on marriage is widely known.

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1. ok
2. yea sure ;) TM thirmba thirumba athaiye solrar.. but ans. panna maatenkrar. :(
3. That is not for TM alone.. people here talking like only Love marriage couple struggling to survive for happy life.
my intention was ,even after marriage Love is exist.. why he is not answering for that.. anyhow not going to ask that again.. :neutral:

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

For Girls (not Shakthiprabha :poke: ) :
1. the above one..
2. He is no way can find a job and can provide bread and butter and u come to understand that at a time..

Will u still marry him..?

Be honest :roll:

appaala meet panren :wave:

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Of course.

Lets not forget even girls can earn and provide for the family. it doesn't matter who's the one with the job.

Thiru what is love to you?

TM..

If u want personal incidents, I have seen few in my life.. from college days..


kai kooduna/kai kuudaatha kaathalkal sila paarthu irukken.. antha kaathal unamaiyaanathunnu enakku theriyum.. avatkalooda vethanaikalaiyum valaikaLaiyum bayanthaiyum paarthu irukken..

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Today's 'lovers' are alive only to the call of primal instincts only and intellect or sense takes a back seat! :lol:

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This is a ridiculous accusation. :x

and on a side note.. when u said .. pethavangala pathi kavala padaama oodi poraangannu.. the basic culprit in most of these cases are the parents (their stupid so-called pride, fear about the soceity).. y not blame them??

Any love-married hubbers here??. They can share their experiences here. Aarumae illaya? :lol:.

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Originally Posted by hamid

yappa.. thread pala thisaiyila payanikkuthu pola :lol:

TM,
u r changind stands :notthatway: But, that was enough said already and u indirectly accepted that too.. so letz move on to the next topic..

the percentage of true love (or exceptions as per ur view) in soceity..

thr is no way we can arrive at a % for tht.. but yes.. thr is a big increase in the so-called loves offlate.. and it is not good for the soceity..but terming it as 99.999999% ellam romba oovar... a pure pessimistic view.. ellame thapputhaannu nambikittu/mudivu pannnittu paarkira paarvai.. ithuvum samuukathuku nallathilla..

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'enakkoru girl friend vEnumadaa girl friend illaa vaazkai waste allavaa'-nnu cinema-la paadi paadi pasangaLa usuppEththi, college campus-la( it starts in school itself), IT office-la innum pala idangaLla ithu oru 'virus' maathiri paravi, oru naagareegam maathiri kadaipidikkap pattu kadaisila- 'nallaa'(I don't know to what limit!) pazagittu ta-ta solRavanga niRaiya irukkaangaLaa illaiyaa?

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Originally Posted by ajithfederer

Any love-married hubbers here??. They can share their experiences here. Aarumae illaya? :lol:.

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I "arranged" my marriage (not my parents, but they agreed to it). Will you call it a love marriage? :-)

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Originally Posted by ajithfederer

Any love-married hubbers here??. They can share their experiences here. Aarumae illaya? :lol:.

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:lol: I know few, but That is not good idea to take as exp. :)
Feddy thanks for sharing your relatives love marriage,nice to hear about that. :cool2:

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Originally Posted by littlemaster1982

Thiru,

Even I'm not saying love is divine or it is a holy cow which shouldn't be derided at. IMO, we cannot arrive at some numbers based on our experiences. As simple as that.

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love ngrathu divine thaan .. but appadi onnu illangratha thaan naan solraen.. anyway good that u almost accepted that...

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Originally Posted by littlemaster1982

Itthudan naan ungalidam irundhu vidai perugiren. Nandri vanakkam :wave:

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:ty:

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Originally Posted by littlemaster1982

P.S: 100%-lerndhu 95% vandhirukkeenga. That's some improvement :P

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unakku antha percentage thaan problem nnu ippa purithu.. naan 95% nnu sonnathula nee en pakkam irupaennu munnamae therinjirunthaa un vasatikkae solli irupaen :P

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Originally Posted by Wibha

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Today's 'lovers' are alive only to the call of primal instincts only and intellect or sense takes a back seat! :lol:

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This is a ridiculous accusation. :x

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+22

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

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Originally Posted by hamid

yappa.. thread pala thisaiyila payanikkuthu pola :lol:

TM,
u r changind stands :notthatway: But, that was enough said already and u indirectly accepted that too.. so letz move on to the next topic..

the percentage of true love (or exceptions as per ur view) in soceity..

thr is no way we can arrive at a % for tht.. but yes.. thr is a big increase in the so-called loves offlate.. and it is not good for the soceity..but terming it as 99.999999% ellam romba oovar... a pure pessimistic view.. ellame thapputhaannu nambikittu/mudivu pannnittu paarkira paarvai.. ithuvum samuukathuku nallathilla..

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'enakkoru girl friend vEnumadaa girl friend illaa vaazkai waste allavaa'-nnu cinema-la paadi paadi pasangaLa usuppEththi, college campus-la( it starts in school itself), IT office-la innum pala idangaLla ithu oru 'virus' maathiri paravi, oru naagareegam maathiri kadaipidikkap pattu kadaisila- 'nallaa'(I don't know to what limit!) pazagittu ta-ta solRavanga niRaiya irukkaangaLaa illaiyaa?

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PP madam.. I agree to that and I sincerely share your concern.. already ithe thread-la I have said mostly I will agree to TM's view on the so-called love's...

but at the same time, I cant agree with the view that every love is of this kind... for me the true love exists very much in this world even today.. and their % is definitely not less than than the so-called ones...

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Originally Posted by hamid

and on a side note.. when u said .. pethavangala pathi kavala padaama oodi poraangannu.. the basic culprit in most of these cases are the parents (their stupid so-called pride, fear about the soceity).. y not blame them??

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hamid,

Its not just fear of society. what if the DIVINE love blesses 2 ppl of different religion? There are hurdles to cross for the said couple when bitter truth strikes them hard, but the parents would not be too happy wit the choice. They are just PLAIN WORRIED about the kids. (this happens only when reliigion is diff cause the difference is too much to withstand for normal human mind)

So sometimes give parents their due creidt...pavam pethavanga.

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

'enakkoru girl friend vEnumadaa girl friend illaa vaazkai waste allavaa'-nnu cinema-la paadi paadi pasangaLa usuppEththi, college campus-la( it starts in school itself), IT office-la innum pala idangaLla ithu oru 'virus' maathiri paravi, oru naagareegam maathiri kadaipidikkap pattu kadaisila- 'nallaa'(I don't know to what limit!) pazagittu ta-ta solRavanga niRaiya irukkaangaLaa illaiyaa?

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AND there are also others from the same places- schools,colleges, companies whatever, that actually GET TO KNOW a person, fall in love with their character and get married.

Why don't you see such people and state them as examples?

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

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Originally Posted by app_engine

SP,

Nice post!

The last statement alone seems to be factually incorrect :-) i.e. this one :

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Originally Posted by SP

At any point of time, in any society, both men and women are equally responsible for the growth or the curse of the society.

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At least in some societies, at some point of time, women were / are suppressed to ugly levels as to not have a significant say on how things are run.

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opposite to this there are many places now, woman has all the say.. the fact is now the condition of the society has gone to ugliest level.

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Deivame! Eppadi ungaLaala mattum ipdiyellaam mudiyudhu! Top :clap:

Ennanga ennai kekkuringa?. Naan enna Naatamaiya?. Sambandhapatta ninga than sollanum. :)

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Originally Posted by app_engine

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Originally Posted by ajithfederer

Any love-married hubbers here??. They can share their experiences here. Aarumae illaya? :lol:.

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I "arranged" my marriage (not my parents, but they agreed to it). Will you call it a love marriage? :-)

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Originally Posted by Wibha

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

For Girls (not Shakthiprabha :poke: ) :
1. the above one..
2. He is no way can find a job and can provide bread and butter and u come to understand that at a time..

Will u still marry him..?

Be honest :roll:

appaala meet panren :wave:

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Of course.

Lets not forget even girls can earn and provide for the family. it doesn't matter who's the one with the job.

Thiru what is love to you?

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what abt the first one ?

nee manasaara sonniyo illayo..maththavanga maathiri pin vaangaama sonnathukku oru :thumbsup:

Agreed, Hamid! Even TM allows a fraction for such exceptions. There are true, patient, responsible adults who wait with restraint and on the other hand OdippOga thudikkiRavanga, parents-ai insult paNNi thookki eRiyaRavangathaanE majority?

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Originally Posted by sathya_1979

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Originally Posted by Wibha

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Today's 'lovers' are alive only to the call of primal instincts only and intellect or sense takes a back seat! :lol:

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This is a ridiculous accusation. :x

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+22

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michcha 21 enga :noteeth:

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

responsible adults who wait with restraint and on the other hand OdippOga thudikkiRavanga, parents-ai insult paNNi thookki eRiyaRavangathaanE majority?

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As much as increasingly ppl are open to select their choice, I disagree that 'majority' of them do not consider their parent's consent. Atleast in India it does matter. Even now.

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Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha

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Originally Posted by hamid

and on a side note.. when u said .. pethavangala pathi kavala padaama oodi poraangannu.. the basic culprit in most of these cases are the parents (their stupid so-called pride, fear about the soceity).. y not blame them??

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hamid,

Its not just fear of society. what if the DIVINE love blesses 2 ppl of different religion? There are hurdles to cross for the said couple when bitter truth strikes them hard, but the parents would not be too happy wit the choice. They are just PLAIN WORRIED about the kids. (this happens only when reliigion is diff cause the difference is too much to withstand for normal human mind)

So sometimes give parents their due creidt...pavam pethavanga.

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SP... enna periya kastam? pasanga vaazkaiyavida ethu perisu??? if you go in deep it is either their "so-called pride" or "the fear of the soceity" or "who the hell are you and what do you know.. I know whats better for u" thaan..

Sari.. leave inter caste for now... if both lovers are of same caste and if they express their love to the parents, do u think most of the previous generation parents will even care to look whether the choice is right? (again thr r exceptions and I have seen at least one exception.. )

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Originally Posted by Wibha

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

'enakkoru girl friend vEnumadaa girl friend illaa vaazkai waste allavaa'-nnu cinema-la paadi paadi pasangaLa usuppEththi, college campus-la( it starts in school itself), IT office-la innum pala idangaLla ithu oru 'virus' maathiri paravi, oru naagareegam maathiri kadaipidikkap pattu kadaisila- 'nallaa'(I don't know to what limit!) pazagittu ta-ta solRavanga niRaiya irukkaangaLaa illaiyaa?

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AND there are also others from the same places- schools,colleges, companies whatever, that actually GET TO KNOW a person, fall in love with their character and get married.

Why don't you see such people and state them as examples?

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exactly...

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

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Originally Posted by sathya_1979

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Originally Posted by Wibha

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Today's 'lovers' are alive only to the call of primal instincts only and intellect or sense takes a back seat! :lol:

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This is a ridiculous accusation. :x

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+22

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michcha 21 enga :noteeth:

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I meant, I strongly disagree with what PP Madam mentioned and support Wibha. 22 is a random number generated to show the strength of my support.

Hamid,

These days parents have mellowed down, IMO. Esp factor called "social pressure or society's sake" is absent. Pride probaby yup.

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Originally Posted by Thirumaran

what abt the first one ?

nee manasaara sonniyo illayo..maththavanga maathiri pin vaangaama sonnathukku oru :thumbsup:

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I meant yes for both. Love is about understanding and compromising.

TM you still haven't said what do you mean when you say love?

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Originally Posted by Wibha

TM you still haven't said what do you mean when you say love?

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It does not exist acc to him. :evil: He has not seen any live examples :roll: how can he say what it means?! :think:

SP,

though whether it is acceptable here or not.. I strongly feel that the current generation is lot lot better in understanding and upholding human values.. I do see better harmony and understanding among people in the years to come...

and that is the same reason for the mellowed down u have mentioned.. and for the same reason i quoted wil the previous generation parents accept?

People who support (Or In Love / Loved / Expecting a love etc) will always look for the positive examples to substantiate their case.

People who oppose will quote negative examples to substantiate their case.

Hence, nett-nett I doubt whether there would be any change of stance or opinion.

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

Agreed, Hamid! Even TM allows a fraction for such exceptions. There are true, patient, responsible adults who wait with restraint and on the other hand OdippOga thudikkiRavanga, parents-ai insult paNNi thookki eRiyaRavangathaanE majority?

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well they wouldn't have the need to run away and get married IF the parents actually supported them. WHY can't parents for once trust their own children and stand BY them.Parents and kids should come to a compromise.

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Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha

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Originally Posted by hamid

and on a side note.. when u said .. pethavangala pathi kavala padaama oodi poraangannu.. the basic culprit in most of these cases are the parents (their stupid so-called pride, fear about the soceity).. y not blame them??

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hamid,

Its not just fear of society. what if the DIVINE love blesses 2 ppl of different religion? There are hurdles to cross for the said couple when bitter truth strikes them hard, but the parents would not be too happy wit the choice. They are just PLAIN WORRIED about the kids. (this happens only when reliigion is diff cause the difference is too much to withstand for normal human mind)

So sometimes give parents their due creidt...pavam pethavanga.

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athe..

Parents are from different generations.. they have their own way on understandings.. neenga puriya vaingalaen.. lover pinnaadi ishtathukku suthta time panna mudiyura ungalaala.. peththavanga kooda time spend panni yaen puriya vaikka mudiyaathu? I believe it is very much possible.. u guys dont have the patience in spending time for ur parents.. athaan naan solluvaen...

20 + years ungalukkaaga kastapattavanga manasa purinjikka theriyaatha lovers kku eppadi recent aa love panna aarambichavangala mattum purinjittu irukka poareenga :huh:

there could be worst parents.. but they are exceptions..