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Bonding of Love:
Various combinations of these components result in eight types of relational results
-1- NonLove (I0P0C0); («ýÀüÈ ¿¢¨Ä)
-2- Liking/Friendhsip (I1P0C0); (¿ðÒ)
-3- Infatuation (I0P1C0); (¨ÁÂø / §Á¡¸õ)
-4- Empty love (I0P0C1); (¸¡¾ø ¸¢ÚìÌ/¨Àò¾¢Â측¾ø)
-5- Romantic love (I1P1C0); (¸¡Å¢Â측¾ø)
-6- Compassionate love (I1P0C1); (Àâ×/¸Õ¨½)
-7- Foolish love (I0P1C1); (ÀÂÉüÈ ¸¡¾ø) and
-8- Consummate love (I1P1C1); (¿¢¨ÈÅ¡É/ÓبÁÂ¡É ¸¡¾ø)
Wish--Need--Want
Liking(Wish) is closely similar to friendship.
Limerence(Need) -- Emotional excitement of being in Love -- is passionate love gone wild. It begins with a spark of interest, and under appropriate conditions, can grow into enormous intensity; is a state of cognitive obsession, an unrealistic hope of reciprocation. Almost every trivial utterance or behavior on the part of the object is misconstrued as a sign of love, which keeps the hope of reciprocation alive. However, limerence can grow into love, when it is completed fulfilled
Love(Want) is mutual, and is characterized as a great affection and concern for the welfare of the beloved.
Love Heals...
There is no ill that love cannot heal, no problem love cannot solve, and no evil love cannot overcome. Love is the fountain of well-being, the key principle of spirituality, and the hallmark of true religion. It is no wonder that preachers from all religions sing its praise in harmony and psychologists around the globe hype its benefits.
The world would be a far better place, only if we can connect a tiny bit of the transformative power of love. Indeed, love is the only miracle freely accessible to all. It is the only gift that multiplies when we give.
Yet, love continues to be in short supply.
Why ?...
Why? Why do we deprive each other and deny ourselves of what we all possess in abundance? Why do we withhold the only thing that everyone really wants, the one thing that can bring us true happiness? Who has poisoned the stream of love? Why do gatekeepers spread fear and hate to turn people away from Heaven's Gate? Why are there so many walking hurt in faith communities? What has turned the human heart into stone? What prevents us from doing the most natural thing - to love and be loved?
When we observe human interactions - often it is the minor things that obstruct the free flow of love. These include petty jealousy, envy, competitions, personality clashes, careless remarks, angry words, rudeness, inconsideration, insecurity, mistrust, suspicion, pride, elitism, miscommunication, misunderstanding, gossiping, backstabbing, and one-upmanship.
These are the stuffs - tragedies are made of. They may appear to be the rather harmless, yet they are capable of destroying countless lives, families and communities.
-- Fear has driven away love!
Have you ever witnessed how mean people can become, whenever their power or status is threatened? Even an argument over a non-consequential issue can escalate into a fight to the death, because neither party wants to lose.
What has happened to the gentle voice of reason? What has happened to grace and kindness? In the endless competition, most people have come to believe that might is right. They are afraid that showing kindness may expose them to attack and harm. Fear has driven away love!
Therefore, it is not enough just to map out the benefits of love. Nor is it sufficient to identify the processes of altruistic acts. To bring about real change in the world, a positive psychology would need to address and overcome the destructive forces that impede and corrode love.
Test Yourself...
Love is more than a feeling. It is also a motivational force that compels us to action. Ultimately, authentic love is a principle to live by, and a core value that defines the essence of our being: who we really are, when everything is stripped away from us.
Here is a test to find out how much genuine affection and compassion you really have for others.
Do you habitually and consistently --
01. Engage in deeds of kindness?
02. Bring happiness to others?
03. Embrace those different from you?
04. Consider other people's feelings?
05. Have other people's best interest in mind?
06. Share with those who are less fortunate?
07. Help others without expecting any return?
08. Stand up for the oppressed?
09. Fight against injustice?
10. Show gratitude and repay kindness?
11. Show compassion to those who are hurting?
12. Empower and build up others?
13. Sacrifice self-interest in order to serve others?
14. Love and pray for your enemies?
15. Forgive those who have hurt you?
16. Overlook other people's faults?
17. Remain faithful to your friends when they are in trouble?
18. Treat others with unconditional positive regard?
19. Treat people with sincerity and honesty?
20. Apologize and make amends whenever you have hurt others?
If you find yourself having to fight against most of the above questions, you may want to take a good, hard look at yourself and wonder whether you have lost that gracious gift of love.
Glorious portrait of love!
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (I Corinthians 13:4 - 8 )
Qur'an portrays God's love to Man by... God loves - those who do good, the pure and clean, those who are righteous, those who are just and judge rightly, who trust Him, the persevering or patient
"anbE sivam"
Love is intentional without being mindful of its noble intention. To love is more than doing what is right; it involves doing what is good and kind. In giving, one receives. In enduring, one finds happiness. This sums up the positive psychology of love.
Law of Love
To probe into the secret chamber of the soul, invariably one is confronted with the transcendental and spiritual nature of love. At the deepest level, we are all yearning for the kind of love that connects us not only with human family, but also with its Creator.
Love is the essence of God's nature, because Love is God. Unlimited love is a state of being that belongs to God, To participate in divine nature is to transform love from a state of feeling into a state of being.
In sum, the law of love is giving. To love is to give of ourselves generously and compassionately, in spite of fear and hate.
Finally....
The world has become smaller, the distance between individuals has become greater. People seem more connected with computers and mobile phones than with each other. We respond to the increasing social complexity and diversity by creating more and more rules and obstacles that separate people.
Families are unscrambling, and communities are disintegrating. Individuals may be experiencing more alienation and loneliness than in the by-gone eras. Is there any hope of creating a culture of love that knows no boundaries and transcends hierarchy?
All the mission statements and even scientific findings on love have not made this world a kinder, gentler place.