:exactly:Quote:
Originally Posted by dsath
BTW, PP what makes you think westerners don't take their fidelity seriously? IMO they are not all that different from us, atleast in terms of marriage vows.
Printable View
:exactly:Quote:
Originally Posted by dsath
BTW, PP what makes you think westerners don't take their fidelity seriously? IMO they are not all that different from us, atleast in terms of marriage vows.
dsath, I fondly think about the raging war my kavithai, 'puthiya maadhavikaL' created in Hub a few years back! I was censuring puthiya maadhavikaL of our present world & many didn't take it well! As for the puranas & epics we must remember their period which, in my opinion, are definitely belong to a less cultured/refined level of civilisation & customs. Our human intellect, intelligence, discrimating/discerning/evaluating capacity has sharpened/refined to a superior level. We have evolved more sensible, civic rules & regulations, norms & ethics. Physically, emotionally & morally we have a clearer, stricter ideas/ideals about human relationships. We know what is best for the family & the society. Execeptions are always there. Let us concentrate on general mode of living styles.
dsath & Kannannn, the impression I get from the English novels I read, whatever genre it is, about the way of their living is SICKENING!!! Just that!
Refined civilization or not, we have been having relationship crisis, in the past and the present, so why blame it on the West ?
For deriving a solution to a problem, the first step is identifying the problem and the next logical step would be to determine the source. In this case we are looking at the wrong place for the source.
It is convenient to blame 'West' or an outside source for our problem. But unfortunately that is not the case. I gave the examples of the epics to point out that we in India have been facing the same problems for a very long time. The source of the problem is within us. We have to figure it out.
Recently, women emancipation is targeted for the breakdown of family values and family crisis. Again, I think this is not the correct source for the problem.
About the family values in West, it is not as bad as it sounds. Their views and hence lifestyles are much more liberal than ours but that doesn't mean that they don't have any values or respect them when it comes to relationships. Fidelity is a very important issue in a relationship, in a marriage or otherwise all over the world with a few exceptions. One of the exceptions being us where fidelity seems to be important for only one gender.
What we need is an honest introspection of our society and the heart and stomach to accept the ills and treat it. The question is do we have it in us?
>>the impression I get from the English novels I read, whatever genre it is, about the way of their living is SICKENING!!! Just that!<<
கொஞ்சம் அவங்க நியூஸ் பேப்பரும் படிங்களேன்:-) Why don't you read about the recent NY Governor's resignation story and compare with our "esteemed" politicians?
No use beating around the bush, dsath! My abomination for dating culture, doing away with the preciousness of virginity, casual sex, anywhere, with anyone, at any time, a quiet understanding that woman is a curvaceous body to feast the eyes of men - nothing improper or indecent in it, in fact the most right thing to do- living alone, living together....the list is endless, I find these highly distasteful to the way of life I have been used to, & most of our humdrum neighbours are used to. Our great thinkers fought for evils against women, & have eradicated all ugly practices down the unthinking dark ages of the past. They wanted women to live with freedom, dignity & intelligence. But most of the empowerment & emancipation of women advertised/propagated in MEDIA here is aping the lifestyle of west which is not at all akin to our values & traditions. kaNNai viRRu Oviyam vaanguvathil enakku udanpaadillai. Is standing on one's own legs financially, churning away male companionship in the meaningful relationship of marriage the sole & supreme aim of women's liberation? The aggrandisement of self is most unnatural for our concept of feminism! Divorce should be a solution to unsolvable differences/defects. But do you think it is so nowadays? Where is the sanctity of marriage? The way the westerners casually have sex with any 'friend' nauseates me. MAJORITY OF OUR PEOPLE DO NOT LIVE LIKE THAT. But the temptations & opportunities to switch over are many & great! :cry3:
Well, I'm in no way trying to defend and glorify the family life situation in the west. This is definitely in shambles, espeically for children - in my last project one of the team mates had a 20 year old "my child" and a 12 year old "your child (husband's from a prior marriage)" taking care of the 4 year old "our child".
However, that does not mean that it had been highly valued back home. It's true that a big % of middle class people value the family and work hard for the welfare of kids, marital fidelity etc but the same cannot be said about those outside this group.
I know of a childless couple in our village who adopted a girl baby (who happened to be my sister's school age friend). The wife died due to sickness and the 60 yr old man married this 16 yr old adopted daughter:-( So much for our culture:-(
PP, novels tend to invent extraordinary situations to keep the readers engrossed. It is not all that bad in the West. Please keep an open mind and and interact with some westerners if you get a chance. I am sure you will be surprised. Other than that I don't have anything to say on this topic (romba pesiyaachu..).Quote:
Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
Please do not quote such aberrations, rare occurrences to create a sense of normal life!
Life is not all honky dory in the west, but it is also not as bad as you portray. Atleast the people I know don't go around lying with everyone. If you want to form your opinions based on what you read in novels, I don't know what to say. Naan joot.. :yessir:
And I have seen 100's of similar "shame" things, involving people of everyday lives (not film stars or such celebrities) in average TN town / village neighborhoods. Let's not boast over other countries, simply based on some "novels" read.
And in the 5 or so years that I lived abroad, yet to see one indecent "eve-teasing" incident while I witnessed 1000's of them while in India. நாம் பெருமைப்பட பெருசா ஒண்ணுமில்ல:-(