:lol: :lol: :lol:
Printable View
:lol: :lol: :lol:
A golden oldie
Santa is preparing for his MBA entrace exams and is struggling with the logic paper. He just can't come to terms with its demands and seeks the help of his friend, say Guru.
Guru: Santa, logic is simple. It is just about asking questions, making inferences based on the responses and reaching conclusions.
Santa: ...
Guru: For example, do you have a fishbowl in your house ?
Santa: Oh yes.
Guru: Ok and are there any live fish in it ?
Santa: yes of course
Guru: Well that means someone feeds them and changes the water regularly
Santa: Oh yes
Guru: Do you do it ?
Santa: No
Guru: So, someone else in your house must be doing it
Santa: Yes my wife does it
Guru: So you have a wife. Which means you are heterosexual....
Guru: You see how it works...just jumping from one inference to another. That is all logic is about
Santa is thrilled at having mastered logic at such short notice that he heads to his friend Banta's place to show off. Banta is struggling with the logic exam preparation.
Santa: Hey ! It is pretty simple. I will help you out
Banta: Really
Santa: It is just about asking questions, making inferences based on the responses and reaching conclusions. As simple as that !
Banta:..
Santa: For instance: "do you have a fishbowl in your house ?"
Banta: uhm no.
Santa : (aghast in disbelief) saalaa ! You are a homo !??!
:P
:lol: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
:rotfl: :rotfl:
Forgive me if this is gross! I could not help laughing for the innocence in this joke.
____________
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said,
"But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough
When I don't do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,
When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake, I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When I am out of the office, I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked
When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets
:lol:
This was developed as an age test by the R&D Department at Harvard University .
Take your time and see if you can read each line out loud without a mistake.
The average person can't do it!
This is really difficult, not so easy, so be careful.
1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is a cat
7. This is fool cat
8. This is busy cat
9. This is for cat
10. This is forty cat
11. This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top to
down, and I bet you can't resist passing it on.
KK'ka, I guess it wudve been YWCA. :? :roll: :oops:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
:evil: :rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by NOV
Said to a railroad engineer:
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
~~~~~~~~~
They say true love hides behind every Corner...
I must be walking in Circles !
:D
:)
:D
:oops:
:omg:
:shock:
hayyo :rotfl: :rotfl:
Anoushka enna aachu :oops:
i think someone hacked her ID.. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by MADDY
:)
Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
so make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.
Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement
:rotfl:
Sarna,
That was too good :thumbsup:
I second this... 8-)Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemaster1982
sarna :rotfl2:
some computer programmer must have created this one! talk of endless loops!
:rotfl:
:lol:
There is an urgent requirement for following Position..
Please apply ASAP.
.
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.
Designation : Associate Girl Friend ( Trainee )
· Experience : FRESHER (Experienced candidate Can’t apply)
· Age : only 18 to 24( higher age girl need not apply).
· Should be committed to work for 24*7.
· Skills Required: Good looking, Fair (bold enough to come out anytime will an added advantage).
· Preference would be given to beauty contest winner.
· No preference would be given to any degree/diploma.
· ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
· Perks and incentives.
· Total gross ( Monthly ) : 3gifts worth 300/-
· 30 bike rides each duration 2 hours
· 20 trips to Selective place in Chennai/Banglore/Hyderabad/Mumbai/Kolkatta/NCR
· 10 Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3days
· Daily Provision of Vada Pav / Samosa Pav / Pakoda worth of5/-
· 4movies ( On choice ) per month on every weekend in PVR
· Visits to Big Bazar, Life Style, Pubs and various malls.
· Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to Demand
· Net Deductions ( Monthly ) : Provident Fund and Service taxes to be informed on joining
· ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
· REFERRAL BONUS WILL BE GIVEN AS PERTHE POLICY / IF PERFORMANCE IS HIGH THEN WILL BE PROMOTED TO NEXTGRADE "WOODBE" ANDTHEN TO "WIFE" IN 2 YEARS
· ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
· All short listed candidates will be intimated over phone.
· We would appreciate if you can refer / ask more potential candidatesto meet the Recruitment team at the earliest
· Note : Ex-girl friends will not be eligible for any referral benefits.
:)
:rotfl: :rotfl:
I am also innocent :mrgreen:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
to the little boy in sps joke...
thanmaana singamda nee... :notworthy:
:D
Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back!
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.
“ Rule: There is ‘some thing’ important in life than Work and General Knowledge. “
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"...
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."
Husband: "That's it. We are happily married ever after. "
Long ago, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, forgot laughter were called "Swamys"
Today, they are called.. "IT professionals"
++++++++++++++++
Written at the back of a Biker ' s T Shirt: "If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
++++++++++++++++
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that, One loves too much, And the other loves too many.
++++++++++++++++
In the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the letters get reversed..!
++++++++++++++++
Someone rightly said, "A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer"
No wonder many of us are speechless when lecturers ask questions..!
++++++++++++++++
Girl: Do you have cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..! How about this card, it says "To the only guy I will ever love.!"
Girl: That's good. Give me 12 of them..!
++++++++++++++++
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: "We do have an... opening for you..! "
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
++++++++++++++++
A Signboard in front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly.
Don't kill our employees.
Leave them to us.
:lol:
Who is real guru!!!
One Night 4 MBA Students Were Boozing till Late Night and didn't
study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They then went
up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last
night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had
to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition
to appear for the test.
So the dean said they can have the retest after 3 days. They said
they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared
before the dean. T he dean said that this was a special condition
test. All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the
test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three
days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks.
Q .1. Your Name......................... (2 Marks)
&
Q.2. Which Tyre Burst............... (98 Marks).
o Front Left
o Front Right
o Back Left
o Back Right ....!!!
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. :cry:
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy. :x
The road to success??.. Is always under construction. :oops:
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. :twisted:
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. :lol:
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening. :evil:
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. :roll:
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works. :?
If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. :twisted:
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. :lol:
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late. :x
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate. :oops2:
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions. :sigh2:
If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls. :x
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance. :evil:
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming. :lol2:
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom. :rotfl:
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other. :banghead:
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight. :evil:
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker :bangcomp: :banghead: