without knowing what it is how can he say it doesnt exist? and also come to a conclusion what he has seen is not love?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
anyway..ithukullaye thirumba thirumba pokaama erkondu aaka veendiyatha paarpom :D
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without knowing what it is how can he say it doesnt exist? and also come to a conclusion what he has seen is not love?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
anyway..ithukullaye thirumba thirumba pokaama erkondu aaka veendiyatha paarpom :D
Hamid, maerkkondu enna aagaNum? :confused2:
agreed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wibha
TM,Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
I never said "worst parents" at all. I will never quote that way.. what I say is they lack the understanding and at these situations they cant see the right thing.. reason is quoted already..
Exactly.To know if something exists or not one has to know what it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by hamid
Oru mqanushan, oru forum-aiyE 2 nALA, 19 pageA OtturAn. Tm :bow:
ella vithathulayum rendu jodiya pidichittu vanthu kathaiyalla nijam prokiram nadathanum :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by sathya_1979
tm,Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
2 situations. Tell me how u would handle it.
1. Parents threaten to commit suicide or sever the relationship if you dont marry the person they choose for u. (for the want of various reasons)
2. Parents are IMPOSSIBLE to be convinced cause a muslim boy and a hindu girl fell in love... .and... love is divine...
(what is the solution in both cases)
I can think of only one solution ...... remain unmarried afer all marriage is not the ONLY WAY TO LIVE eh?
Remember we talk of DIVINE love here.
ippa nee sonniyae, ithaan love, imo :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Wibha
understanding, compromising, unconditional and unselfish.. ithu rendu side um irukanumnu illa... Oru side la irunthaalae periya vishayam :)
TM.. dont want to answer to my queries??? :huh:
Majority of couples victim of parental ego,and didnt get married with their loved ones, majority of parents never agreed for their children's wish..this case is not an exception.. its majority...Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
These days childrens waiting for their parents acceptance for long,there are guys who waiting for 5-6 years..
Its parents are majority always who never believe their childrens's Love. ther are exceptions... few managed to convince their parents ..
'oru-thalaik kaathale' pothum-ngareenga :rotfl2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
Good TM! Ippo naattula needhi naermai, nyaayam ellaam koranju pochu apdinnu solradhaalaye, idhellaam illainnu artham illai. Correct? Adhe maadhiri Wibha sonna matter ellaam koranju pochchu apdinnu solradhaalaye, love endra vishayam illainnu artham illai. SO LOVE EXISTS!Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
yes.. SP.. i agree with TM here.. I wanted to make this point sometime back.. but thread went in other directions..Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
on the topic love exists or not, if thr is cheating in love exists, that was a clear indication of love exists frm the other side.. or else no cheating thr.. only understanding.
I read Singapore president SR Nathan waited from age 18 to 32 to convince his parents about his love. Not sure if this is true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Appu s
In my opinion, any human beingQuote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
who can be undertanding, compromising, unconditional and unselfish with his parents, friends and anyone he or she cares, can also love unconditionally.
Since all these are diminishing in this era amidst human race generally in relation to one another, love towards opposite sex is also diminished to mere lust or hormonal dancing.
if that is the case...
then why blame LOVE alone?
:|
I am reminded of pazhaiya thamizh movie's climax here.Quote:
Originally Posted by hamid
"ennai mannichudumma" (after going astray in every way)
"ayyo neenga periyavanga appadi elaam solla koodathu " :| (she understands, cares and compromises..)
therefore marriages withstood I suppose and btw, I too do agree, its enough if ONE OF THEM compromise too.
appadiyaa :lol2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
paesinaa ethukkum theervu undu shakthi.. may be it might take time...
Once again parent side la irukkirathu unmayaana love illa with their child if they are not even ready to sit...
kandippaa oru payyanukko ponnuko theriyum manasa thottu paarthaa, whether their parents are worthy or not..
samaathaana paduthavae mudiyaatha patchathula vittu kodukkalaam namakaa 20 + years kastapattavangalukku.. vittu koduththu poarathaala love poi aagida poarathilla .. intha side la love panra jeevangal, avanga patta vali itha vida athikam illayaa.. :)
unselfish?? what do u mean by unselfish...I dont think any releation is unselfish in this world... except the mother-child releationship.
in every other releationship u expect something( love, support, care) from the other side..
Shakthi,Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
naan maththa relations la ellaamae perfect nnu sollavae illa.. but in the LOVE alone ippadi patta vishayam either extremely low or dont exist at all..
atha thaan naan solittu irukaen... most of the times it comes as the physical attraction with or without few factors..
naan sonna statement la u can see several mothers.. but not lovers...
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by ajithfederer
ok, it was not an "arranged" marriage in the traditional sense, so it can be called a "love marriage" :-)
Mutually known, some connecting circumstances, some well-wishers, proposal , acceptance. Nothing cinematic (i.e. till engagement.) You can at the max compare the 'dEvan koyil, deepam onRu' sequences of NPP but not exactly the same :-)
There was no big song / dance / opposition / drama / vettu / kuththu etc.
In any case, what else can be expected to happen to a boy whose mom-dad had an inter-caste, inter-religion, nAdan boy & town girl, but arranged marriage in 60's - conducted at my dad's village home with no religious rituals? People in TN are often not how they are shown in movies :lol:
Am I not expected to at least match them in "progressiveness", after a quarter century? :wink:
There "was / is / will be" love in this marriage - as in the case of my parents' - so a love marriage :-)
What I do not know is whether TM's definition (or the general cinematic perception) of luvvu will fit in my case :-) Mainly because neither TM not TF makers in general seem to know what they're talking about when they say luvvu :-)
TM,
pesina ellathukku oru thiirvu undu.. athu een ella vayasaiyum kadanthu vantha peruyavanga pethavangalukku puriya maatengutu?
anubavam kammiyaana, vayasu kammiyaana pasanga puurinji nadanthukkanum.. enna logic ithu?
I DO NOT agree with u. When brain rules ur heart, it rules everywhere irrespective of any relationship.You open ur eyes to point the flaws of only "love" relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
Like hamid said, EVERY RELATIONSHIP comes with tagged expectations but thats way out of this topic to be discussed.
App.. nice to know about ur story..Quote:
Originally Posted by app_engine
and have to agree ur parents are gifted ones.. how many loves of that generation would have been buried inside the hearts coz of the fear of parents/soceity?? who has to be blames for all those?
one humble request.. please see things positively.. spread the love(anbu), understanding and human values.. thats the only way to reduce the mentioned % and to improve the soceity in all ways.. We are the soceity..
rather if we find happiness in finding only faults, things will not improve and those who find only faults are equally responsible for the rottenness of the soceity like the defaulters..
love panna aarambikarathula irunthu pala vitha poigal.. ellaathayum maraikirathu... innum evvalav thiruttu thanangal pannittu irukkarathu thaan namma youngsters... ithelaam ellaarukkum theriyaamalaa irukku..Quote:
Originally Posted by hamid
manasa thottu sollu hamid..eththana paer lover kaaga spend panra time la kaal vaasi yaachum parents kaaga spend panraanga... athula paathi alavukku affection un parents maela kaamichaalae ellaam theernthidum.
avanga anupavuthala ippadi kaathal nnu solli azhinju poanavanga niraya paarthirukalaam illayaa.. neenga puriya vainga ..athu onnum kastamaanathaa enakku therila.. appadiyum mudiyaatha patchathula .. en opinion yaerkanave solliyaachu.. :)
anyway intha topic poitae irukku.. ithoada niruthika poaraen :think:
Even i dont agree with you. :poke:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
Sari atha vidunga.. unga love story paththi sollunga.. :P
TM,
I dont agree to that logic..
The balme is on both the sides.. but majorly on the parents side till now.. and the balance is tilting towards the other side now...
IMO u seem to be seeing things in only one perspective.. anyway letz A2D.
Thanks for sharing, aPP :).
Quote:
Originally Posted by app_engine
ennai suthi orE love!Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirumaran
ulagamE love mayam!
spouse
parents
freinds
family
ipdi sollite pogalaam. elaarum anbai pozhiyaraanga. :) ithu thaan ennoda azhagaana love story.
thookam varum neramachu :poke: :P :wave: ciao pps again. nice talking about the NEVER ENDING, athe araicha maavu..yet it ws fun :D
TM,
kAdhal is not new to only this gen.
That parents are against kAdhal is a myth created by foolish movies (especially Thamizh and Hindi ones, Malayalam movies are far more realistic in this luv matter - parental behaviour etc).
Also, that kAdhal has to occur only between totally unconnected boy & girl (one seen on bus / train etc) is another myth, often created by cinema. It typically happens to people who happen to be in the same setting a lot of time.
The worst myth created by TF (TR started the nonsense in UU and it continues till his son) is that the boy can threaten his way - or the girl can do the same - to make a person accept the kAdhal. This probably happens in society today BECAUSE of such stupid movies but I would rather call it a "black-mail" than kAdhal :-)
paartheengalaa en vazhikku vanthuteenga.. neenga sonna list la lover ae varala paartheengalaa.. athaan naan sonnathu.. appadi patta relation la love expect panna mudiyaathunnu.. thanks for finally accepting that :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
naan ithayellaam marukka poarathilla app :P :)Quote:
Originally Posted by app_engine
yw :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by ajithfederer
Interestingly, my one sis had a slightly tougher story - because of the huge gap in edu qual between her and the boy - now my closest b-i-l, giving parents some worry. (I was given the assignment to talk her out of it but I almost did the total opposite, sharing some general principles with her while making it clear that she has the final decision-making powers).
Well, she has a successful one too, with everyone's consent :-)
IMO, what we see in TF / TV serials / novels etc are out-of-ordinary ones and does not reflect what's happening in the society in general in this kAdhal matter i.e. w.r.t parents being villains.
I am done for the and mostly wont participate in this topic for next few days..
u guys continee...
stanley..
nee ethir paarkura ennoada uthavaakara love story ya mattum naalaikku eppadiyum solliduren :noteeth:
Sorry if at all i hurted anyone..That is not the motive..Rather i was interested in getting a larger perspective. from different people.
Good night all.. :wave:
Parents Vali, A 50 years old matured people can not controlled their emotions ego etc,expecting their children a 20+ needs to be more matured than them and need to sacrifice everything for them. once the childrens do that.. the parents are really happy, but not the childrens....why dont the 50 years lived parents can not be more mature than the younger ones and sacrifice their ego,pride infront of their children and watching them living happily.
Appu s,
Most parents are not forcing children to "sacrifice" their luvvu, from what I've seen. Also, most luvvu's are not inter-religious / inter-economic variants as portrayed in movies, that could evoke challenges to parents' accepting.
An average parent of today talks to the child, discusses with it, reasons with it as to what +ves/ -ves etc even in extreme cases, per my observation. The shouting / non-agreeable parent is a rare specimen!
Don't believe Thamizh movies, which show extreme cases to attract viewers as that is their job and not to show an average person (unfortunately, people often fashion themselves after what movies show and this could affect their thinking capabilities)!
Nothing wrong Dev! I support it. If you leave your country to settle in a foreign land with a totally different culture become part of the mainstream. Otherewise, life will be miserable. It has been miserable for a lot of Indian girls because the parents wanted matches from their caste,speaking their language and from their own region. Some girls are well into their thirties and still unmarried ! :( This is what I tell those parents: " If you want to cling on to your Indian/Tamilnadu traditions go back to India" ! To my knowledge a few went back, not because I told them. It was their decision.Quote:
Originally Posted by dev
American dollars do not come cheap. You have to pay a price! :lol:
Not only American dollars and not only girls from India. Any dollar of any country you migrate to and depending on the country you migrate from. We have all paid our prices one way or the other. Some even paid more than some, depending. :( As you get older and start to weigh up the pros and cons of migration, you start questioning the worth.
I have heard similar stories of Indian girls who have gone through PHDs and so on - what they gave up to get it and at later age (some still single) wonder about the worth.
I believe with the change of more support for such ladies, the regrets will be less. They have somewhat paid the dues and made a better way for the younger ones to come.
In India, I think the parents' worry is justified. Most of our parents have sacrificed everything for the sake of their children. Till we get married or get employed, we depend on our parents for everything. So they are not sure whether the children are mature enough to take important decisions in life.Quote:
Originally Posted by hamid
But if you say that the children are mature enough, why don't they talk to their parents about their love and convince them? If they do not do this, it either shows that they themselves have doubts about their decision or they don't give a damn for their parents who had brought them up till then.
So in my opinion, the blame lies more on the children.