A shame

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Sometime ago in the advice column of an Indian blogging site a girl asked if she may consent to her boy friend's insistent desire to have sex. A majority of the many replies advised her against premarital sex. An indicator we are not in a hurry to jump on to the bandwagon! Heartening, isn't it?

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Giving piece of advice is the most happiest thing somebody can easily do :-) When it comes to them .... if they are ready to put their feet and say :-) i decided it this wat -> well tats wat i would really call decision making -> straight from the heart ..... !!!

May be those who said to her - would have said in the agony that they werent in her bf's place :lol: - u could always hear in the crowd ppl saying that - "do u think i would have left her in a dilemma ? " :lol:
cmon maam ... I respect ppl who really have their heart in responded to her question ... but i see that the percentage would have been very less :-)

hardening ;-) not heartening though!!!!

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

'Much ado about nothing'- That was what it was! To take tinseldom seriously is a joke!!!

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hmn .... tats a strong comment to make :-) !!! In TN ... :-) Tinseldom rules ;-) dont they ???? We have a lot of ppl from varied industry mergning into the field of Tamil Cinema and many from the industry who have gone to varied fields :-)
I see the Tinseldom in TN atleast .... has its root in the very core :-)

It needs to be reiterated that our place has not become totally a bedlam! Occassionally we hear heartening, boosting news like the principal of a college in our state capital who put his foot down on a matter of dress code in the case of a 'forward-thinking' lady from the tinselworld. Ah! Who cares a hoot if she huffed & puffed!!!

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Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam

It needs to be reiterated that our place has not become totally a bedlam! Occassionally we hear heartening, boosting news like the principal of a college in our state capital who put his foot down on a matter of dress code in the case of a 'forward-thinking' lady from the tinselworld. Ah! Who cares a hoot if she huffed & puffed!!!

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Pardon my curiosity ma'm but who was this 'lady'? :?
Not Kushboo again!

Don't you feel it is hot enough now? Why aggravate it? :D

The intentions of my previous posts were not to slur our epics or the characters in them.
The epics were brought in just to point out that failed marriages and out of marriage relationships were prevalent in our society for long.
And the main point I wish to make is that, in those days we did not have women emancipation (comparable to the current levels) and no major influence from the Western society.
So it would be wrong to blame the problems on ‘The West’ or the ‘Feminist’ movement.
The feminist movement in India has come a long way in making sure that at least a portion of the women have access to fundamental rights like education. Much has been done for women empowerment, but there is still a long way to go.
We still have female infanticide and with technology it has developed into female foeticide.
Even for women who have access to same right as men, discrimination is a way of life. The Chennai buses are a good example.
Under such scenario, it would not only be faulty to blame the feminist movement or women emancipation (whatever you like to call it) but would seriously damage the cause. After coming so far, it would be a shame to fall back for all the wrong reasons.

We (Indian society) have our own share of skeletons in the cupboard. The skeletons are coming out, because the cupboard is being opened with a key (feminism).
It would be wrong to blame the key. It would be convenient to blame the West for our skeletons. But that is not going to clear the cupboard, is it?

Quite interesting to go through the posts about the cultures of the West and ours. I'm reminded of one incident which happened a year ago in Dubai.

It was a Mother's Day and a colleague from the US asked me if I had called my mother that morning. I told him that I didn't. He was surprised and started explaining me about motherly love and how I should take care of my mother. I started explaining him that I loved my mother, but he could not understand me.

Then I asked him how often he called his mother and he told me, "Every Mother's Day I call her and wish her. Last year I even took her for dinner".

Now I was shocked and told him that I called my mother almost everyday and I did not need a special day to SHOW my love to her. Also I told him that I was going to Bankok the next day and I might visit her if I get a return flight via Chennai.

Then he asked me in disbelief, " Do you go and meet your parents just like that, without any prior notice ? What if they have any other engagements ?"
I told him that I would go to my parents any time I wanted to and most of the time it would only be a pleasant surprise for them.

Then he told me that he had to inform his mother well in advance if he wanted to meet her, so that she could plan accordingly. He also told me that he hadn't seen or talked to his father in years.
And at last he said, " You are indeed very lucky to have such a nice family."

Good that in India, we still do not need any Mother's Day or Father's Day !!

How relevant or frightening are those skeletons now, after so many centuries? What is happening NOW in our shrunken global boundaries? How are we tackling our problems, challenges & ordeals? Who is against women getting educated? Who is talking about keeping women slaves? ( It was our Big Brother who shipped Negroes from Africa & ran a flourishing slavery trade to sweat in the hot zones cultivating cash crops like cotton!!!)
In true sense of Bharathi's puthumai peN we want our women to 'kaathalan oruvanai kai pidiththu avan kaariyam anaithilum thOL koduththu' enjoy life on earth. To take intelligent decisions, to share domestic administration, to make life enjoyable & happy for herself & her family. Not send children to creches, elders to old age home, join the rat race & become nervous wrecks & physical patients. Not to take divorce as a taunting tool or a cowardly, arrogant convenience indulging in pure egotism. Not to try 'masculine' sensual weakness out of pure adventure & mistaken sense of freedom( No one is here condoning men's 'weakness'! Men who have the courage of self-restraint are the real heroes, any day, anywhere!) Idea of marriage is a beautiful, complex concept with mutual duties, expectations & rights. Sex is one of the many things shared by the couple. Sex does not exist outside marriage, before marriage. But the world is rocking on titillations, cheap pleasures, sensual gratifications with no moral responsibility whatsoever. consumerism, materialism, epicureanism at the peak! It is difficult to just sit & watch your world crumbling down! It is inhuman, unnatural! Of what use is our sixth sense? Do we discriminate? Are we discerning? Are we behaving differently from beasts?

AhAh, one excellent post from PP:-)

(BTW, my assamese friend often ridicules me after reading somewhere that "koththadimai" is still being practiced in TN and I had to be defensive. sondha oorilEyE slave is as bad as slave captives taken abroad)

Now, to summarize your above post in one word - "What are the values today for people and who sets it (or what should be the values / authority for values)". Do you have an answer PP mam (without resorting to attack on people outside your borders)?

:clap: @Punnaimaran! I am overwhelmed by your post! Almost choked to tears! How beautifully you have showed by relating an incident while I am here crying myself hoarse with no effect at all!!!

app_engine, your posers baffle me! I have had the notion of such things being inherent, subconscious, unspoken lessons/edicts, automatically absorbed, embedded in our lives! A scientific world, a dissecting approach, a black-white written programme- are all very distasteful to my temperament! I believe in intuitive understanding, empathetic communication & emotional bonding more than dry, practical treatises. Can't help it if you will brand it as escaping!!!