Do women like their men doing domestic work?

Hi guys,Did you really think your wife will appreciate you sharing her work at home? Read this:I went home a couple of days back early from work than usual.Since I knew that my wife was having a busy day at work I decided to help her out. :) I cleaned up the house,arranged the bed,made some snacks and tea for her.When I was washing the utensils I noticed some soaked clothes to be washed.I further proceeded to wash them all, which to tell you the truth :oops: included some of her clothes as well. :lol: When she came back she was quite happy to see the tea and snacks and the room cleaned.But when she saw that I have washed her clothes,she was hurt and embarrassed.Now she says she doesn't want me to do any work at home! :o Well now, do you think that was a genuine expression?If so what is the reason why she is hurt when she finds me working?Do atleast some women consider it more manly to be proud and lazy? :? You ladies are also welcome to answer. :idea:

blah blah,

ITS ABSOLUTELY FINE, for a man to do domenstic job,
or share soem domestic burden.

Whilst doing domestic work, there is no question of
who is ENTITLED TO DO IT. The only concern should be
WHO IS FREE to it.

period.

My husband occassionaly helps with dish washing. (Though
he does not dare to investigate on his other skills...esp cooking!)

May be I REPEAT MAYYY be, ur wife was hurt, because,
some specific job which u did, might have embarassed her. :oops:

Good luck all to domestic workers (Remember Sex no bar!)

Hi Blah2,
Women do like men doing domestic work .
But they hate to give them credit for that.

Especially in cooking !!!.
This poor soul never gets the due credit . :(

All Glory is cornered by wife when guests praise the dish prepared by me....sob...sob...sob...!! :evil:

Just kiddin,
Yes, they hate to share the limelight.

Blah2 : We're brought up to clean our underwear because of menses!! Perhaps, that's why she was so embarassed by your kind gesture. Sigh ...
we Indians find all sorts of excuses not to say a plain THANK YOU!!

Even in movies, I find it ridiculous when wives feel slighted to have husbands apologise or thank them. No wonder we are doomed as door-mats!

Quite true Nirosha, women even after many years of marriage have this self-imposed unequal status by virtue of which they think it's awful to have one's husband wash their clothes or do what is "rightfully" their chore :(

I think as Shahkthi pointed out as before, helping with dishes and general cleaning should be split among husbands and wives, may be based on who is free to do it at the time.

Hemant, please we do share the limelight with husbands, for most women, it's the female members of the in-law household thay they have a problem with!

And absolutely no, I don't know of any contemporary woman who thinks being lazy is manly!!

Tea, snacks, clean house, washed clothes would just floor me, as they do often :) :wink:

blah blah,

You have an excellent wife who minds your doing house hold work. Why do you want to spoil her, and endanger freedom of other husbands by setting a very dangerous example? !!

And don't listen to Shakti for whom ITS ABSOLUTELY FINE, for a man to do domenstic job. ( my sympathies to her husband!)
My wife also tried to reform me! But my selective deafness has saved me so far!! :)

Mine doesn't help in the kitchen either. But to be fair, with the kids, he's wonderful! My daughter who is 6, still prefers to bathe only when her Acha herds her into the bathroom. So at least, he helps out in something. And yes, he's good at squeezing out murukkus too.

So, a bit of help from a spouse is much appreciated!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shekhar

And don't listen to Shakti for whom ITS ABSOLUTELY FINE, ( my sympathies to her husband!)

:evil:

:P Believe me he is very happy helping me. He feels its the purpose
of his life :lol: :oops:

My wife also tried to reform me! But my selective deafness has saved me so far!! :)

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:lol: My sympathies for ur selective deafness and yeah ur better half who puts up with the selective deafness :lol:

It is not WHAT HELP THEY DO, itis AT WHAT TIME THEY DO WHICH MATTERS.

Help of one human being to another. No man vs woman talk .

:wink:

I am happier when my husband helps me in dusting and taking caer of my kid, RATHER THAN cooking, which he is scared to try his skills.

Off the track....

(Nirosha, I thought u are 'SEN' so how do SEN'S do murukku? Is it 'chakki'
u refer to?)

:cry: Till now, I never get those twists in perfect south indian, murukku
which I try to make. :cry:

The inevitability of such topics as this, is that eventually some self-righteous preserver of the 'old order' is going to claim that men have yielded their bastions to the fair (read weak) sex and that they are to be pitied for their pathetic existence. No wonder at all that it should happen here :x

I would hate to call you DEAR ANBU so just Anbu will do, :evil:

Most evolved hunter in animal kingdom (After hman beings) are Lions and Hyenas. 8)

It would do you good if you know that 90 times out of 100, it is lionesses that hunt and Lions come and literally drive away lionesses first to have their first bellyful.

Same way, Hyenas do not have a place for males in the inner circle where females rule the roost.
Males have no part in their society except procreation. :lol:

So may be in natur's matrix, being female dominated society means better evolution....Who knows?

Hemant

:D Hi all,I welcome all your views.I think we better agree to disagree.So I consider this Anbu fellow,the guest who makes her boy friend do all her er.. works :oops: and the real men, :twisted: Shekhar and Cygnus the same.Cygnus says the weaker sex should be pitied for their pathetic existence.That they are physically weaker is the very reason I help her at home. :D Physical power was the rule for success in the stone age.It is no more valid.You don't win even your woman's heart with that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hemant Trivedi

I would hate to call you DEAR ANBU so just

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Dear Hemant and others
Please do not respond to the trouble-monger, who has masqueraded as someone else (Surya, Anbu, and a few other names as well.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blahblah

:D Hi all,I welcome all your views.I think we better agree to disagree.So I consider this Anbu fellow,the guest who makes her boy friend do all her er.. works :oops: and the real men, :twisted: Shekhar and Cygnus the same.Cygnus says the weaker sex should be pitied for their pathetic existence.That they are physically weaker is the very reason I help her at home. :D Physical power was the rule for success in the stone age.It is no more valid.You don't win even your woman's heart with that.

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blahblah, please read both my posts again, I am a woman and proud of it!!! :) My second post was a comment regarding Shekhar's stereotypical views :)

"....they are to be pitied......."
'they' here is the men who have yielded to the women according to the 'preservers of the old order' :)

Cygnus,

My remarks to blah blah was in a lighter vein not to be taken at face value. Shakti understands me well.

If you want to really know my opinion..

I have nothing against a husband doing house hold chores. It is my house as well. What I cannot digest is the wife claiming it a bounden duty of the husband to help her in chores. I go out to earn livelihood for the family. I have my work and stresses and strains which are never less than the stresses and strains of my wife at home. I look after my daughter right to tying her shoe lace, not because it is my duty but because I love to do it.
And there are many work in the house which needs a man to do. I do all that. Women need not scoff at my resentment to cook or wash dishes. All this presuming the wife doesnot go out for work. If she does then it is between them to decide who does what.

By the way I couldnot understand your being proud to be a woman. I can be proud of what kind of a man I have made myself to be, not simply that I am born a man.

Shakti, do you really know your husband cannot cook well? May be he is pretending not to get into a permanent trap. :) Let me tell you, any man who can cook, can cook well!! :D

shekhar,

That was a nice post :) and I enjoyed reading your previous post too. It was really funny with your usual sense of humour :lol:


cyg,

Shekhar is an old hubber and a good friend of us. I had always envied his great sense of humour :)


and shekhar,

I think i should introduce cygnus to you. She is relatively a new hubber and a member of our home thread 'ulagam enbathu ethhtani pEr' :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shekhar

I can be proud of what kind of a man I have made myself to be, not simply that I am born a man.

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That was the quote of the day Shekhar!

And I'm sure, Cygnus (and all the other women hubbers here including myself) is proud of what kind of a woman she has made herself to be, not simply that she is born a woman.

Am I right Cyg ? :)

Hi Cygnus,Sorry,I understood the mistake as soon as I wrote it. :oops: I have forwaded an apology to your private inbox yesterday itself.
And For Shekhar,we all understand that your remarks were in lighter mood :lol: and that's why I would like to see you again on this thread. :D

Hi Roshan,

Nice to see you here. :D It's a pity you all drove me out of Ulgam thread!

Btw, where is smiley!!

XYZ

Firstly, blahblah, apologies accepted, I did not see your message when I posted my reply :)

Secondly, Shekhar, your explanation of the 'humorous remark' is appreciated. I often don't see the humor in such comments that refer to "poor husbands" in the context of the wife being an equal in the marital relationship. On the other hand, "poor wives" are not meant to be funny but are only used to denote serious issues. The fact that words such as "uxorious" and "hen-pecked" have to be coined for a doting and considerate husband when no such equivalent terms exist for a loving and devoted wife, is beyond my comprehension. So, there are limitations to the love extended to a wife by her husband but not vice-versa :?: :roll:

I do tend to over react sometimes given that I have seen quite a few instances where the "humor" has been un-called for, so there... :)

Without the kind of self-assertion that comes with the unique set of experiences in one's life, one cannot declare being proud of what he/she is, so I can't be just proud of being born a woman, although I should say that growing up with only brothers and no sisters made me wish I had been a boy, certainly not any more :)

Roshan, thank you for the formal intro. I have indeed, read Shekhar's discussions in the ulagam thread and elsewhere. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shekhar

Hi Roshan,

It's a pity you all drove me out of Ulgam thread!

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Hey!!! When did we do that :?: :shock: and how can we do that to you Shekhar? :o We'd love to see you there, with your excellent humour and pearls of wisdom. Please do drop in when ever possible :)

No No Roshan, you didn't do anything intentionally. You all went on and on in swahili and I quietly left.

Cygnus,

We all see what we want to see. We believe the partial truths that we have seen, as the complete truth. That's why being a bit cynical about hard perspectives helps us in exposing our mind to broader realities.
I spice my remarks with humour because I want to erase ego and add tentativeness to my vision of life, so that it doesn't hurt anybody.
Forumhub is an opportunity for us to open up our closed minds and broaden our horizons. But instead we foolishly fritter away this opportunity by involving in assertions of our own views derived on limited life experiences.

Hi B or C :twisted: dolf Hitler,If you don't want to iron or wash,simply don't do that :wink: .Why should you burn your on shirt :?: Doing some domestic work and cooking etc.. is for people who really want to do it 8) and who really want to see less working load on their women.

XYZ

Dear er...Hilter :twisted: ,I didn't see that misplaced 'L' :lol: .Any way I think you have got a case too. :lol: Proceed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bdolf Hilter

It is HILTER and not that DELETEDevil Führer

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Ahaa!! :roll:
Yet another OPITICAL ILLUSION :lol:

I am Bachelor. Is it really so tough to lead a married life.

Any tips

Dear Sandeep,

Getting into marriage is like getting into a circus. Whether you become a trapeze artist, or a joker or a handy man depends upon you and your luck! More skillful you are, better are your chances of survival :)

Hi Sandeep,May be Shekhar has his own experience :twisted: .From my experience,it is anything but a circus.Marriage is the union of two hearts which understand each other :) .For people who can share and forgive it is sheer bliss and fulfilment of life :D .For those who are selfish and think their wants should always be satisfied,it may be hard to enjoy the relationship :roll: .

XYZ

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blahblah

Marriage is the union of two hears which understand each other. For people who can share and forgive it is sheer bliss and fulfilment of life :D . .

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Sure!! We understand each other perfectly. :) My wife always shares mine, and I always forgive :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blahblah

Marriage is the union of two hearts which understand each other :). For people who can share and forgive it is sheer bliss and fulfilment of life :D .For those who are selfish and think their wants should always be satisfied,it may be hard to enjoy the relationship :roll: .

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shekar

More skillful you are, better are your chances of survival

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I think i will try blahblah's advise (share and forgive technique) 8) . If it doesnt workout Shekar's plan will come handy (skillfully make my wife feel I am all for 'share and forgive' :idea: ).

Haha......You guys crack me up this early in the morning. I'm with coffee in hand and it's sloshing all over the place! So I better hurry out of here, harrassed husbands! This wife is too amused to stay. But I shall start my day with a chuckle or two instead!!

Have a nice ahem "harrassed and bemused" Day, y'all!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Nirosha,This is too much :lol: .But who made the coffee?Yourself or your hus? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

I am glad that this thread on domestic housework was started. This issue has been increasingly popular among young couples to seek for a divorce.

My husband and I recently counseled a couple and one of issue raised was on domestic house work.

It is hard to believe but it's true!!!!

You see Alisha,smart guys know what to talk about! 8)

XYZ

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bdolf Hilter

Why are we talking about domestic work done by men. I swear you men are even better pregnants. :lol:

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:D :D

But seriously bdolf! We'd be on the double to start working on the homefront, ever ready to acquiesce to HER majesty's orders! wont we?!! :wink:

BUT where is the wife? :cry: :cry: :cry:

gimme that hanky bdolf! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Hey ho!! u need that to wipe ur tears?!!!! tch tch tch!

:D :D :D

XYZ