Cancer of a different kind

[pavalamani pragasam]

Cancer of a different kind

North and South poles are opposite and they attract each other. It is called magnetism. Our Earth rotates on the axis of these opposite poles. Positive and negative charges come together powerfully. It is called electricity. Pluses and minuses cancel beautifully to make a balanced equation. Male and female are opposite sexes with an inherent affinity for each other. It is the axle on which the wheel of creation revolves. It is the heart throb of Nature. It keeps life on Earth ticking on. It is an apparent law in Nature that opposites draw each other. It is the principle of fertility.
Man and woman were created in order to grow and multiply. If life must go on, if procreation must continue, if the Earth is to thrive with life and activity, the attraction and union of the opposite sexes is a must. The human being who is the king of the animal kingdom rightly understood this fact and has been behaving true to his natural instincts. As population increased, as civilization progressed, wise norms were formed for happy, healthy living. The institution of marriage was introduced and the quality of life became more refined, more dignified.
Just as a healthy body is invaded by dangerous diseases, the normal society has recently been attacked by a dangerous disease, namely, an improper, abnormal attraction of the same sexes. This unnatural behaviour, however, is not new. Very rare and stray cases have been reported in all civilizations, but were always censured and checked.
Recently, especially in the fast developing western countries, the extreme advance of science and technology, the resultant wealth, luxury and prevalence of uninhibited pleasures seem to have triggered a craving for the extraordinary, for the sensational, for the outlandish ideas of living.
Unlimited freedom, unreined youthful passions, utter lack of values have given birth to freakish, perverse trends. A culture of violence and defiance has been generated in this era of global communication by a general atmosphere of nonchalance. An unprecedented increase of wayward, precocious children has caused all sorts of weird, bizarre, unacceptable fashions and notions to come into existence.
Perhaps cloyed with excessive indulgence of all sensual pleasures or goaded by a sense of ennui and restlessness blatant homosexuality has gained a prominent place in today’s society. While lack of sufficient public condemnation of this vulgar abomination is tragic, condoning the act with legal support is like dealing a death blow to the dignity of the human race.
The marriage of the same sex is odious, to say the least. It is absurd. It makes no sense. It is an insult to Nature which designed sexuality otherwise. It is a stigma on human integrity. It makes endearing relations like father, mother, brother, sister, aunt and uncle false and meaningless. Genuine emotions of family attachment can never be expected to spring in such an artificial, unnatural environment. Sheer madness it is to opt for such a parody. Life without depth and meaning, functions without warmth and purpose can merely be a bestial existence.
It is a cruel irony that the legal system which should abolish such a practice is embracing it with its protection. Instead of administering clinical, psychological counseling to persons affected with such unnatural inclinations, instead of dissuading such unhealthy activities, the governments of many western countries have offered legal sanction to this enormity. It is a crying shame. It rings the death knell of decent, healthy, human society. It makes mockery of the noble purpose of creation. It renders the family concept meaningless.
A grave matter that should stir the conscience of the pillars of society has only served to add spice to best selling paperback novels. It deserves more serious thought than being the theme of fiction or sensational newspaper headlines. It is pathetic that what should be shunned as a social evil is welcomed with shameless favour by people, even those steeped in traditional family values of reserve and restraint. An Indian lady who has imbibed western culture had the audacity to make a film endorsing homosexuality and is showered with encomiums for her efforts.
This shows clearly that the practice of homosexuality parading under the name of marriage of the same sex is alike cancer- it spreads its deadly roots slowly, surely and stealthily. It is a grave danger to humanity, a global threat like AIDS. It needs to be faced boldly and effaced decisively. Let worldwide protests and vigorous campaigning open up all channels of therapy. Rise all sane, right-thinking, self-respecting men and women of the world to arrest this downward slide of the human race!

[Badri]

Mrs PP, A powerful statement indeed of strong personal opinions.

However, yes, there had to be a however, those are strictly personal opinions. Very true what you have said. Evolution requires the attraction of opposites, not the same. However, you are quick to blame some of the unfortunate ones and call their predilection the cancer of a new kind.

But I beg you to consider the entire story from a different angle, look at it from their viewpoint. Do you ask how I profess any knowledge whatsoever about the other angle? Well, let me disabuse any notion you might have that I may myself be homosexual. That is not so. However, I have had the opportunity of coming in contact with quite a few homosexuals in our oh-so-conservative Chennai, and also later on in the US.

I have, off and on, worked with a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist in a leading hospital in Chennai. This doctor friend of mine used to get "patients" who desperately sought to be cured of what they thought was a disease. My friend sometimes called upon my skills as a counselor and I would pitch in and help him.

No, Mrs PP, it was not a choice. Unnatural as it may sound to you, it was not a sexual choice these young men had made. Since as far as they could remember, they were always attracted to the same sex, and were not at all "turned on" by women. Many of them came from respectable families and were, what is called, "closet gay", afraid to even let it be known, lest they be ostracised by society.

While friends their age were bragging about their sexual exploits at college (however real or fake) these poor souls had to make up some story or the other, just so no one would mock them or ridicule them. Some of them, of a marriageable age, were desperate to "change", for their parents had already begun to hunt for brides, and these young men were in a dilemna...neither did they want to come out in the open, nor did they want to marry and bring ruin upon the life of an innocent girl, for they were afraid they might not be able to peform on the nuptial bed.

My heart used to go out when I heard these sorrowful tales. No, there is no medication available for curing them, as my friend assured me and them. Some have been able to marry and even father children. But a few have so strong a mental block that it is difficult for them to get out of it. Again, let me reiterate, Mrs PP, it is not always a voluntary choice these young men have taken. some had been abused by other men as children, but that was a small minority. The greater percentage had simply been that way since they knew what was what.

What you see now - the open exhibition - is not a result of ennui. It is just that some of the rasher and more brave ones among the lot have decided to say enough is enough, we have been made this way through no fault of ours and there is no need for us to be shackled and hounded all our lives.

Interestingly, my psychiatrist friend is doing some study of the phenomena, and I am assisting him in it. I am afraid, out of professional courtesy, I cannot reveal his name in this forum. But the result of that study (though not confirmed yet) shows that a dominant mother and a submissive father in a family can sometimes result in this fixation. What we think happens is that the mother figure is so powerful that the boy develops an obsession with the mother, leading to her being superimposed on every woman he sees. Naturally, there is a severe reluctance to even contemplating sex with a woman. The urge seems to find fulfilment in men. This theory is still in infancy...we just didnt find enough data to be able to consistently prove it.

But the fact remains that not all homosexuals are that way by choice. A great many of them would like it otherwise, but are sadly trapped. Perhaps before I worked with my friend, I might have joined you in criticism, but with the knowledge I have gained through working with him, I now raise up passionately in their cause, even if I stand the risk of being labelled gay.

[Badri]

Let me also add that no matter how openly and blatantly the Western countries might parade this, very few Indians would still feel comfortable coming out in the open with it. As far as India goes, those poor men and women who have somehow been affected by this have no escape. They will probably bear the secret sorrow of their heart.

I have heard their tales, Mrs PP, I have understood their anguish. Anguish at being "different", anguish at being not understood, anguish at being lonely. Yes, that is how they always came across to me - terribly lonely. For what is the point of being surrounded by people when not one of them can understand you? When I made the effort to understand them, words can't tell you how grateful they were for it.

They deserve a break, Ma'am...and what little lies in my power to give them that break, I shall do.

[scorpio]

Oh my God, Badri, You've the same views as I have on these poor souls. I had indeed thought of this abnormality as 'yucky' and 'worthy of ridicule' earlier but after I read that they do not dwell into it by design but by default, I really feel sorry about them.

What's wrong in law taking care of the rights of these souls also? Consider two men 'living' together for a long time and law does not recognise their 'pairing' legally. What will happen to the other if the one who was supporting the living financially dies? Should he become a beggar for no fault of his own? Who will get the wealth left by the deceased homosexual? The Government and not the person who took care of him, supported him and shared his life for years with him? What is the essence of marriage after all? Is it not soulful companionship and not merely physical initimacy and procreation?

I also gave a thought about Roshan's post in surrogacy thread wherein homosexuals opt for surrogate mothers to have an offspring of their own ( atleast partially genetic). I did think of it as obscene at first but on thinking about it, is it that condemnable?? If homosexual pairs can adopt children, why not they use surrogacy to have 'genetic' offsprings?

I think the society needs lot more maturity to handle this sensitive issue. It is only a matter of time.

I really wonder why many of my views always differ from the 'populist' faction, but I really can't help it!!!

[Badri]

My dear dear Akka: You have made me a happy man indeed today. I got your support!!! Seriously, you should have heard their stories. It would have wrung your heart!


If there are any closet or otherwise gays in the Hub, please excuse my observations. They are not intended to in anyway express pity of any sort. No, I only have honest sympathy.

[nirosha sen]

Aren't these people allowed to legally leave behind a will???? Even if one is not married or related by blood, doesn't Indian law allow these kind of concessions, for one to leave one's worldly possessions???!!!

PP and Scorpio - please enlighten me, as I'm ignorant of your laws.

[Cygnus]

Badri and scorpio......we have TERRIBLY missed you guys during the famous "puthiya maathavikaL" debate in the old hub!!!

If you're interested please google puthiya maathavikaL and follow the link!! We had debated most of the issues related to homosexuality, 'morality' of 'live-in' relationships etc...

PP, Roshan, geno, Shakthi, malligai, Suresh, ukw and others participated there and it was left unresolved on either side...I have always wanted to go back to that one. Thanks to PP for reviving the issue and kicking off fresh new perspectives.

Here's to a lively discussion!

[malligai]

PP,
i dint read this bcos the posting was long...but Cygnus has made me curious...will stop by later...
but just caught this by chance,
//Man and woman were created in order to grow and multiply.//--- what an understatement of the year...

[scorpio]

Niro,

Yes, anyone can make a 'Will' in any beneficiary's name.. but the question, is why should they do it when it is the responsibility of the legal mechanism of the country to protect the rights of every individual?? How many of us have already written our 'wills' and expecting our last moment anytime? Is it not the sole reason behind me not leaving a will, that law will ensure my spouse and kids inherit my property if I conk off, say, the next minute???

Cygnus,

Will google when I have time, thanks!

Badri,

Missed u yesterday, enna client leave vittutaana??

[Badri]

Cygnus: Will read up, soon as I get some time

Scorpio: Nethu inga Labour Day pa...nice to know even I am actually being missed!!! Thanks for missing me!!