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20th December 2010, 05:08 PM
#1231
Administrator
Platinum Hubber
Newly married Hubby saves wife mobile no as “MY LIFE”.
After 1 year,”MY WIFE”
5yrs, ”HOME”
10yrs,”HITLER”.
After silver anniversary…“WRONG NUMBER”
Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!
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20th December 2010 05:08 PM
# ADS
Circuit advertisement
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24th December 2010, 07:51 AM
#1232
Moderator
Diamond Hubber
[html:97cbf350d2]<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/T1lBoEeUiGk" frameborder="0"></iframe>[/html:97cbf350d2]
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13th January 2011, 06:24 PM
#1233
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
God decided to encourage people to have fewer children and introduced an award scheme
During the procedure at one point, he concentrated on learning about the situation in India:
He first met Jawaharlal Nehru in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during is time on earth. Nehru replied.. only one!
Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded Nehru with a Celestial Rolls Royce!
Indira Gandhi was next, and God asked the same question. She replied she had two children, and God thought, not too bad, so he gave her a BMW.
Dr. Radhakrishnan was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had six children, and gave him a Maruti-800, as a kind of punishment.
Sometime later, the three (Nehru, Indira and Radhakrishnan) going around in their new cars, saw Mahatma Gandhi on foot!!!
Wondering what went wrong, they asked why God hadn't been merciful with him
The Mahatma replied in disgust, "God did not even ask me!!!
"Some idiots had told him that I am the father of the nation!"
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14th January 2011, 01:14 AM
#1234
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
good one Ksen!
This business man goes up to a bar, located at the top of
the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice
place. He takes a seat at the bar next to another guy.
"This is a really a nice place. I've never been here before,"
the first guy says.
"Oh really?", the other replies, "it's also a very special
bar".
"Why is that?", the first guy asks.
"You see that window over there, the fourth
one from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside
that window. If you jump out you'll fall only about 50 feet
before an updraft catches you and you're pushed back up."
"No way, that's impossible", the first guy replies.
"Not at all, take a look", the other man replies and walks
over to the window, followed closely by the first man. He
opens the window, climbs up on the sill, and falls out.
He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop,
and whoosh! He comes right back up and floats back in through
the window.
"See, it's fun! You should try it", he says.
"Try it, I don't even believe I saw it!", the first man
exclaims.
"It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again". And with that, he
falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40...
50 feet.
Once again, he comes to a stop, and whoosh! He sails right
back up and floats safely through the window.
"Give it a try, it's a blast," he says.
"Well, what the heck, it does look like fun. I believe I will
give it a try", the first man says. He climbs up on the
window sill, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls
10... 20... 30... 40... 50... 60...
70...
80...
90..
100 feet, and splat! He ends up on the sidewalk.
After watching the first man fall to his death, the other guy
casually closes the window and heads back to the bar. As he
sits down and orders another drink.
The bartender arrives with the drink and says, "You know,
Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk!"
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14th January 2011, 05:37 PM
#1235
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
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26th January 2011, 02:01 PM
#1236
Administrator
Platinum Hubber
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....
Liver alone. Cheese mine.
Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!
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26th January 2011, 02:04 PM
#1237
Administrator
Platinum Hubber
Teacher: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
Pupil: With a pair of Caesars!
Teacher: Who succeeded the first Emperor of Rome?
Pupil: The second one!
Teacher: Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
Pupil: He wanted to Mark Antony!
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Pupil: At night.
Teacher: Why did you say that?
Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!
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26th January 2011, 02:06 PM
#1238
Administrator
Platinum Hubber
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote it down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold...
Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!
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26th January 2011, 02:09 PM
#1239
Administrator
Platinum Hubber
A Dad’s E-Mail:
Dear Son,
How Have You Been?
Your Mom And Me Are Fine,
And We Miss You Alot,
Please Turn Off Your PC And
Come Downstairs For Dinner
Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!
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27th January 2011, 07:07 PM
#1240
Moderator
Diamond Hubber
A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before
you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"
So, she does.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you
are wasting. You could be famous, why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
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