what's the appeal of going abroad/desi identity crisis

[nirosha sen]

Well many had left Mother India for greener pastures either willingly or wilfully as indentured labour to so many new lands. They include the Caribbean, Malaya, Singapore and the Fiji Islands. While we are many generations down the line from those first migrants, we never lose respect or love of the Motherland!!

On both my parents' side, I was the very first to have visited India to date!! But sadly, my parents are no more to share my wondrous tales of what I had seen, savoured or lament!! It took four generations before one of us took the first step back into the old country and I must confess to have mixed feelings abt it!!

Unlike the new breed of Indians, who land in so many First World countries, flying in jumbo jets, ours is a sad tale of blood, sweat and tears which many are too ashamed to acknowledge and hence try to sweep under the rug of the forgotten!!

Very few of us have any real knowledge of our history here in Malaysia, as many of our old-timers are dead and gone. Still, the few who are around and feel the need to record our early struggles, have taken the trouble to write for the papers, magazines, etc!! Some archive materials are also there.

A newly found friend of mine, who is well into the 70s has just written a book entitled aptly, "Shore to Shore"!! It's a dear little book, where I found my own family's saga, so beautifully told and mirrored! But books like this is few and far between, that unless someone records all that oral history, ours would indeed be another generation of lost Indians, far from our roots!

[Roshan]

nirosha

That was a good and profound post !!

[kannuma]

Very kind of you to brand us as 'Desis'.No different from the North Indian attitude of calling us all 'Madrasis.

You do not know the reasons for people wanting to get out of this country because you lived almost all your life abroad.They are many:Poverty,adventurism,ambition all drive us out of our place.

If you ever have the chance to visit this country on a long vacation,I would suggest that you travel a bit.This country has a strange tale to tell you.One of ancient glory,great potential and still miserable life.Some want to escape it,some to explore new frontiers.

Still we know that life will change for the good in this country.Many of us shall not see that day,but our little children will take our dreams to greater heights .THE LITTLE BUDS SHALL BLOSSOM AND TOMORROW SHALL BE BRIGHTER THAN YESTERDAY.FROM THEM WILL EMERGE A BETTER WISER INDIA and our great motherland will reach the zenith of her glory.Then her ungrateful sons and daughters will not address us with contempt .

i didnt know being called desi was offensie. here at uni we just apply it to anyone whos south asian. im sorry if you took offense, ut i dony see why being desi is so bad.

now i have a queation to as ppl who say living abroad = better. some ppl lose their jobs here(desis) live with such little money etc etc. can't find a new job. are kinda miserable. how is this any different than in india. but the though of going back to india where thy might find a job is not an option for those poor souls. i dont understand why living abroad is so glorified

[kannuma]

and also id like to say that its a huge misconcepion that desis who settled in first world countries do not have any tales of blood sweat and tears. i think thats a rather strange view.

[aravindhan]

i didnt know being called desi was offensie.

It's not an offensive word. What is insulting is the "why are desis..." sort of attitude, as if all Indians have the same attitudes and Indian attitudes can be summed up in easy sentences. Wouldn't you be upset if someone said, "Why are NRIs so arrogant? My cousin visited from the US and couldn't stop badmouthing India for a minute of her stay. What is it with NRIs that they have so much contempt for Indians who live in India?" Well, what you said in your post wasn't that different, and that's what people are reacting against. "Desis living in India" do not all think the same way any more than all NRIs do; "desis living in India" are not all dying to leave the country; and, going by anecdotal evidence, the majority of "desis living in India" who actually go abroad return to India.

If you're asking why some desis are desperate to leave India, I would say it's a question of their personality. Indian society, especially in the south, is not very individualistic. One is expected to subordinate oneself to society and family in many more ways than one is in European society. One also has far less privacy, and is expected to be (or at least pretend to be) a lot less materialistic. One must also be patient and put up with things that would send people elsewhere into a tizzy. And then there's the poverty and injustice one sees in society, the corruption, the wasted potential, and other such things which one has to learn to live with. This is not everyone's cup of tea, and in my opinion those who talk about "hating Madras" or "hating India" are really saying that they hate these aspects of Indian culture and society; and they would therefore rather live in a place where they don't have to put up with these. NRIs can, in a sense, pick and choose the bits of Indian culture they want to keep and discard the rest. Indians living in India don't have this option. For many, going abroad is therefore an easier option than staying on and fighting to change the things they don't like, or learning to live with them. Which is understandable enough - people are different.

Others go abroad to build a career. The west is much more of a meritocracy than India is, and it's much easier to make a mark there if you have the capability (though this is now changing). Once one has done that, one can return and claim one's place in Indian society. Many do. However, for many, uprooting themselves again is difficult, and they tend to stay on. It's much the same for those who lose their jobs, with the added factor of the loss of face that results from returning as a failure, with one's tail between one's legs (in a manner of speaking).

Status doesn't play such a big role any longer, as far as I can see. The days when "green card holder" in a matrimonial advertisement meant long lines of people queuing up outside your house are long gone, and I do not think they will return. Status was a factor when a person returning from velinadu would bring fine fabrics and gadgets and wonderful little curios which one simply could not get in India, but Indian society has changed and it's no longer so. Today, the only real status which getting a job abroad gives is "Wow look, this fellow is bright enough to get a good job with a top international company", but that's really 'recognition' rather than 'status', and even that's starting to change as jobs in India become more demanding and creative, and consequently carry the same prestige as a job abroad.

Just my observations, as one who's lived a fair amount of time in India, SE Asia, and Europe.

and also id like to say that its a huge misconcepion that desis who settled in first world countries do not have any tales of blood sweat and tears. i think thats a rather strange view.

The travails of the indentured labourers who were shipped to remote destinations and of the average modern economic migrant to Europe or the US are hardly comparable.

[blahblah]

Kannuma,We who live in this country have pride too. You talk about 'desi identity crisis'. Where did you get the idea? Did it result from your identity crisis? You said you have been living in Holland and some other country. Which country do you belong to? Do you consider yourself an Indian?

The Indian expatriate community have earned due respect from their respective adopted communities and from the residents of this country.We are glad that you have achieved what you did .It comes from the effort of many generations and a lot of sweat and blood stories .

Even today your success inspires many to travel to unknown shores in search of opportunities .If they fail,they try to hold on irrespective of hardship and poverty. But you shouldn't forget that this was the attitude shown by your forefathers once and that is why you are there today .

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When the big bell is ringing,no one hears the little one.But that doesn't mean the little one is not ringing[Danish Proverb]

[kannuma]

Kannuma,We who live in this country have pride too. You talk about 'desi identity crisis'. Where did you get the idea? Did it result from your identity crisis? You said you have been living in Holland and some other country. Which country do you belong to? Do you consider yourself an Indian?

The Indian expatriate community have earned due respect from their respective adopted communities and from the residents of this country.We are glad that you have achieved what you did .It comes from the effort of many generations and a lot of sweat and blood stories .

Even today your success inspires many to travel to unknown shores in search of opportunities .If they fail,they try to hold on irrespective of hardship and poverty. But you shouldn't forget that this was the attitude shown by your forefathers once and that is why you are there today .

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When the big bell is ringing,no one hears the little one.But that doesn't mean the little one is not ringing[Danish Proverb]

look i asked a simple and logical quetion and now you choose to condescendingly assume that i have an identity crisis and whatnot. no need to get all pissy at the thought of someone asking some questions about her own people.

by identity crisis i mean that they tend to glorify everything western. and plz dont tell me that doesnt happen because that happens abundantly. life abroad is depicted as being glamorous and whatnot. i was merely asking why the whole craze to get out of india was there, when there is equal suffering everywhere. by that i mean why does the desi guy who is out of a job and living on a tiny allowance dread going back to india even though he might be better off there. why do they marry people just to attain green cards etc etc. im asking why returning to ones own country is so bad, when things abroad might be worse.
before you attack me for actually sohwing another not glorified aspect of desiness(and yes im desi, so i can point out stuff which i find peculiar), think about it. am i only allowed to look at the positive and ignore what i think is silly.

i have seen so many desis living abroad shunning all that is indian, and you know what so many desis who have lived in india all their life suddenly have an american(fake) accent, 'coz they went to an english medium school'. i think it is an identity crisis. im asking why this is. is it because the west is over glamourised? is there something ive missed? and stop attacking anyone for having an opinion of their own. i asked a question. if you had problems with it, argue in a normal manner, not in a way that u drag my personal life into it without even knowing the tiniest detail of my life. i ask these questions because i know what i have excountered and am asking other who might have had similar experiences or completely different experiences to debate about this.

and as for the wonderful things some nris have done(and i commend them for that), i have also encountered many who, in their ridiculousness are decide to shun their desiness. there are so much politics involved it makes the whole thing incestuous and makes me ill.

plz do not drag my so called history or lif einto this. you know nothing about me to use as an argument. if you would like to talk about this in a manner where you can share your views without criticising the person asking a question, then please do so. other dont direct me with statements such as 'Did it result from your identity crisis? You said you have been living in Holland and some other country. Which country do you belong to? Do you consider yourself an Indian?'
an observation is an observation, whether it be positive or negative.
im sorry if i seem very annoyed, but its because i am. i just started a topic where i thought i could have a good debate about but people think questioning what i think of myself is their best argument. im not allowed to call South Asians desis. my tone was in the least offensive and i include myself in the desi category in general. when i address things like 'why do desis' i am addressing a large part, but not all of the desis. this in turn was taken offensively. now honestly what did i say that was so bad?

[Bad Boy]

don't you realize that the ForumHub does not require logical abilities?
Where is the logic in "simple logical question"? Or do you mean single logical question?

[kannuma]

don't you realize that the ForumHub does not require logical abilities?
Where is the logic in "simple logical question"? Or do you mean single logical question?

it was ligical and simple to follow. i didnt think it would be that difficult to follow

[kannuma]

don't you realize that the ForumHub does not require logical abilities?
Where is the logic in "simple logical question"? Or do you mean single logical question?

it was logical and simple to follow. i didnt think it would be that difficult to understand