-
25th February 2007, 02:05 PM
#21
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
Originally Posted by
chevy
Date : February 14, 2007
Place: Statistics Lecture at college.
Title: No clue what to keep the title as ...
The first waves splash
Gently against the rocks
As the day goes
Harder on the rocks
Engulfing and enveloping in his strong waves …..
At noon the sun burns the rocks
But the water will cool
And the rocks will await for those warm waves
Come evening the waves will subside
The excitement of the day is no more
For the sea now romances the moon
At this moment the rocks will sadly await …
For the morning
For the sea…
But yet again, next evening
The rocks will be alone
Waiting for the morning
Waiting for the sea..
But how long to wait??
The sea will never stay
With the rocks forever
So why wait??
Just like they always say
Today’s sorrow is tomorrow happiness…
Someday, the hard waves,
Powerful tides would have
Beaten the rocks to granules
Grains of fresh sand
Forming a beautiful beach
An abode for all love
All affection and all fun..
And then will realize the sea
His waves and tides
That without the rocks
He would ne’er be
The blissful, gentle, beautiful beach
That they form together , now….
cheers
chevy
ps: i'd like to know what people think about the above poem. What do you think was running in my mind when i scribbled it ?? Lemme see if any1 close to what i had in mind, ... it will enable me to judge my poetic skills .. hehe ...
hmmm... I did not read ur explanation before.
So I thought... of
SHUNNED love...
IGNORED love (of any relationship)
one side yearns, otherside cares less..
SOMEDAY they would realise...by then its too late... nevertheless, it can take a NEW LEAF.
I guess u had similar explanation
Chevvy,
good flow of words, JUST THAT, my feeling (personally ) IS
make it MORE CRISP. ( less words, MORE IMPACT)
i may be wrong too
but I loved ur poem.
My choice for title would be
" impressions "
-
25th February 2007 02:05 PM
# ADS
Circuit advertisement
-
25th February 2007, 03:19 PM
#22
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
Originally Posted by
chevy
BLATANT PRIDE
Unaware of the world
Sat the dumb child
Whilst others forged ahead
This one sat and cried
“But the others are “smart”
that’s what the teachers told
Do they have a heart?
Or has it gone mean and cold?
Cold, frozen with ignorance
‘coz they failed to see
the giant that lay inside …
This boy was going to be
Stronger than the others would ever be
For this “dumb” child, had a talent within
Uncovered and modestly it lay within
Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
Maybe you wouldn’t call him “dumb” again
‘Coz when his dulcet voice echoed
it soared and danced in your ears
and rang in your mind
This voice took him to great fame
Glory, money and much more
And the academicians who once branded him “dumb”
Now applauded and toasted him
And said,
“He was my student!”
Good.
Perfect Punctuations made it more meaningful ( I felt first poem MIGHT have given nice dimensions wiht lil more punctuations )
I still maintain that, ur FIRST POEM is still my fav
Uncovered and modestly it lay within
Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
Loved those lines. A sharp whip on academics and academics oriented education we have.
-
25th February 2007, 03:53 PM
#23
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
Originally Posted by
Shakthiprabha
Originally Posted by
chevy
Date : February 14, 2007
Place: Statistics Lecture at college.
Title: No clue what to keep the title as ...
The first waves splash
Gently against the rocks
As the day goes
Harder on the rocks
Engulfing and enveloping in his strong waves …..
At noon the sun burns the rocks
But the water will cool
And the rocks will await for those warm waves
Come evening the waves will subside
The excitement of the day is no more
For the sea now romances the moon
At this moment the rocks will sadly await …
For the morning
For the sea…
But yet again, next evening
The rocks will be alone
Waiting for the morning
Waiting for the sea..
But how long to wait??
The sea will never stay
With the rocks forever
So why wait??
Just like they always say
Today’s sorrow is tomorrow happiness…
Someday, the hard waves,
Powerful tides would have
Beaten the rocks to granules
Grains of fresh sand
Forming a beautiful beach
An abode for all love
All affection and all fun..
And then will realize the sea
His waves and tides
That without the rocks
He would ne’er be
The blissful, gentle, beautiful beach
That they form together , now….
cheers
chevy
ps: i'd like to know what people think about the above poem. What do you think was running in my mind when i scribbled it ?? Lemme see if any1 close to what i had in mind, ... it will enable me to judge my poetic skills .. hehe ...
hmmm... I did not read ur explanation before.
So I thought... of
SHUNNED love...
IGNORED love (of any relationship)
one side yearns, otherside cares less..
SOMEDAY they would realise...by then its too late... nevertheless, it can take a NEW LEAF.
I guess u had similar explanation
Chevvy,
good flow of words, JUST THAT, my feeling (personally ) IS
make it MORE CRISP. ( less words, MORE IMPACT)
i may be wrong too
but I loved ur poem.
My choice for title would be
" impressions "
hmmmm i ll try... this poem flowed out of me during a statistics class...As such i am not really good at poems ya... i ll try doing something to it...
thank you sooooooo much for ur views
-
25th February 2007, 03:59 PM
#24
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
Originally Posted by
Shakthiprabha
Originally Posted by
chevy
BLATANT PRIDE
Unaware of the world
Sat the dumb child
Whilst others forged ahead
This one sat and cried
“But the others are “smart”
that’s what the teachers told
Do they have a heart?
Or has it gone mean and cold?
Cold, frozen with ignorance
‘coz they failed to see
the giant that lay inside …
This boy was going to be
Stronger than the others would ever be
For this “dumb” child, had a talent within
Uncovered and modestly it lay within
Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
Maybe you wouldn’t call him “dumb” again
‘Coz when his dulcet voice echoed
it soared and danced in your ears
and rang in your mind
This voice took him to great fame
Glory, money and much more
And the academicians who once branded him “dumb”
Now applauded and toasted him
And said,
“He was my student!”
Good.
Perfect Punctuations made it more meaningful
( I felt first poem MIGHT have given nice dimensions wiht lil more punctuations )
I still maintain that,
ur FIRST POEM is still my fav
thanks !!!!!!!!!!!
Uncovered and modestly it lay within
Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
Loved those lines. A
sharp whip on academics and academics oriented education we have.
but it's true isn't it ???
-
10th March 2008, 01:15 AM
#25
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
GOLDEN CAGE
A lavish dwelling
With all material pleasures
A gratifying feast
Again redundantly profuse
An enviable wardrobe
That could clad many for a year
The best of everything
The newest too
Yet it’s just a golden cage
Which I’m born into
I flinch when others
Envy my silver spoon
For what I have not
Is a normal life
With a birthright to laugh in joy
But merely a mechanical life
For what I have not
A soul to share my life with
Many souls perhaps…
Understand me for,
I’d rather have gruel with many
Than eat cake alone
So here I am,
Free to live but not to fly
Live royally, but cry in this bonded life
Hope decaying in futile rage
Like a bird a golden cage
Sequined silk and golden chains
Fail to heal the scars that remain
Making me learn that joy comes not from wealth
But from loving people and sound health.
But here I am imprisoned
Where I don’t live
But merely exist
With heavy volumes that
I ought to read
For a rewarding career it seems
All for what?
To eventually build another
Golden cage for my victims
Yet to be borne and born by me?
Rich spoilt child is what you protect me from
No need to, I tell you
But why does a plea for a normal social life
Have to mean pubs or discotheques?
Instead why remind me of the diamond walls
That have, been built for me
Like I asked for it?
I seek not, the whole world
But merely, my share in it.
Free me, I am a little golden bird
In this golden cage..
-
10th March 2008, 07:51 AM
#26
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
A vividly painted picture of yearning of a pampered but caged bird!
Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.
-
10th March 2008, 01:29 PM
#27
Senior Member
Diamond Hubber
Originally Posted by
pavalamani pragasam
A vividly painted picture of yearning of a pampered but caged bird!
But here I am imprisoned
Where I don’t live
But merely exist
Anbe Sivam
-
10th March 2008, 04:12 PM
#28
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
Thank you PP mam and Vasi Akka ...
Bookmarks