A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[NOV]

[tscii]A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!' and it didn't move."

[NOV]

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..... "Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Daaaaad... .."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later...... "Daaaa-\aaaad. ...."

"WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

[NOV]

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

[NOV]

[tscii]One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

[P_R]

A"WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

[ksen]

at last... JOKES after a long time.

[NOV]

A woman was at her hairdresser' s getting her hair styled for a trip to
Rome with her husband.

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're
crazy to go to Rome.

So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental, " was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental? " exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.

Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're
always late.

So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River
called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place.

Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive,

But it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city!

The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced.
So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser.

"You and a million other people trying to see him...

He'll look the size of an ant."

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."


A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of Continental' s brand new planes,

But it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old
steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great!

They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel,

The finest hotel in the city.

They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's
suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good,

But I know you didn't get to see the Pope."


"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican ,

A Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder,

And explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors,

And if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait,

The Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand!

I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."


"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Oh my God, who cut your hair in such a horrid manner..he must be some nerd!!!"

[Thalafanz]

My wife has a split personality and I hate both of them.

Losing a wife can be hard. I my case it was almost impossible.

I am in total control but don’t let my wife find out.

When making love most married men fantasize, their wives aren’t fantasizing.

I married Miss RIGHT. I did not know her first name was ALWAYS.

I've had bad luck wth both my wives.The first one left me, and the second one didnt.

I have not spoken to my wife in years. I did not want to interrupt her.

A man who says his wife can’t take a joke forgets that she took him.

I have been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years.

The average husband knows where n when he got married. What escapes him is why.

[podalangai]

A few funny cartoons:

http://geekswithblogs.net/ram/archiv...nCartoons.aspx

[ksen]