A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[P_R]

[NOV]

-- Honesty in advertising - a test case

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal
embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has
filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men
grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The
plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s
been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest
that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and
half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants,
aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded
a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers
of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him
with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her
after applying all the Axe products.

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her
“Where the heck is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven
years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to
even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could
smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in
abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the
television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an
ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect
my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the
company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he
couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed,
either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from
direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and
make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15
centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old
nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away
from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly
bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public
humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him
for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake
Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with
all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has
been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be
sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the
possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was
hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare
minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has
not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have
tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky.
There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and
unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking
women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d
suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram
Jhoothmalani said.

[ksen]

Really, somebody should actually sue these companies for these nauseating ads - May be that's why these shampoo ads and antibacterial soap / floor cleaner ads leave behind one tiny dandruff flake or one germ () to safeguard themselves

[NOV]

Finally, a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

Question:

What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:

Princess
Diana's
death.

Question:
How come?



Answer :

An
English princess
with an
Egyptian boyfriend

crashes
in a French tunnel,
driving a


German
car


with a
Dutch engine,


driven
by a Belgian


who was
drunk


on
Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),


followed
closely by


Italian
Paparazzi,


on
Japanese motorcycles;


treated
by an American doctor,
using


Brazilian
medicines.


This is
sent to you by


a
Malaysian,


using
American
Bill Gates's technology,


and
you're probably reading
this on your computer,


that
uses Taiwanese chips,
and
a


Korean
monitor,


assembled
by


Bangladeshi
workers


in a
Singapore plant,


transported
by Indian
truck drivers,


hijacked
by Indonesians,


unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,


and
trucked to you by Mexican illegals.... .
.
..
.
.
.

That, my friends,
is Globalization

[Dinesh84]

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they
came to some tracks.
The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks."
The other said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
They argued and argued and were still arguing when
the train hit them.

[ksen]

Thoughts from Man's heart
Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?


Thought 2

The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too where he is going.


Thought 3

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced :

'Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life ...' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my Credit Card to me.'

The whole audience including the priest started laughing . . . . . But not the poor Groom ! ! !


And now the Best one. . . . .


Thought 4

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you?'

'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.

'Oh, yeah?' the man said 'And where the Hell were you when I got married?'

[rangan_08]

A man went to a flower shop. The sign board read, " Say it with flowers ". He went and asked for a single flower and the shop keeper asked him, " why sir ? is this enough ? ". The man replied, " I am a man of few words ".

[rangan_08]

A man was caught bathing naked at the Courtrallam water falls. When enquired, he said that he acted according to the instructions written on the board. And the instruction read, " Ingu jattiyudan kulikka koodadhu "

[dev]

[padmanabha]

Recently a photograph of this very sign board was published in Malayala Manorama.