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10th September 2005, 04:58 PM
#1
Senior Member
Seasoned Hubber
Ideal age to get married
Shall we discuss about the most ideal age one shall get married.
Gone are those old days when a woman gets married immediately on completing her college..
And gone are those days when a man gets married once he completes 25 years....
Wants, perception etc etc towards life is changing...
So which is the most ideal age for marriage ????
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10th September 2005 04:58 PM
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10th September 2005, 09:16 PM
#2
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
I don't think there can be something called an ideal age for marriage...I believe that it depends on the maturity of the person & a lot on their own lifestyle... & one has to be mentally prepared for marriage coz it is a lifestyle change... It is a combination of many factors like these... the above r the few I consider to be on the top of the list...
“The real contest is always between what you've done and what you're capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else.” - Geoffrey Gaberino
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11th September 2005, 07:40 AM
#3
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
"Gone are those old days when a woman gets married immediately on completing her college..
And gone are those days when a man gets married once he completes 25 years...."
REALLY
Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.
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11th September 2005, 08:27 AM
#4
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
Re: Ideal age to get married
Originally Posted by
S.Balaji
Gone are those old days when a woman gets married immediately on completing her college..
And gone are those days when a man gets married once he completes 25 years....
Um......I thot 25 was an exceptional age for men in those days?? Of course my father was married at tat age (my mother being a year younger than him!) but I've heard tat most men in those days wudn't get married unless they were reasonably settled in their jobs/homes......ie, nearing/at 30.......and in sum cases if they had addnl. responsibilities like a younger sister or 2 who had to be educated/married off first, those men'd get married even much later, ie. when their 1st grey hairs wud start showing!
Circa '70s, an old friend of my father's had 2 younger sisters to take care of & waited for them both to settle down b4 he decided to marry....by which time he was already nearing 40 & his wife was not even 20!!
Originally Posted by
S.Balaji
Wants, perception etc etc towards life is changing...
Um....true but 4 better or 4 worse??
Originally Posted by
S.Balaji
So which is the most ideal age for marriage ????
Well.....I guess it all depends on ur own individual situation......
For men I can say, if ur already settled down in a reasonably good (altho not nec. high-paying) job & able to stand on ur own feet (in which case I guess 24 or 25 cud be taken as the target age) & yes- most imp. of all for guys (in sum cases gals as well!)- if u really hav ne intention of having a life-partner & family & prepared to mould urself into tat role ......then its ok to go ahead at tat age.....!
In my personal opinion, it doesn't make sense in today's scenario for parents to keep coaxing their children to get married as soon as they 'come of age', as I might agree w/ Balaji- wants/perceptions/attitudes towards life r changing.......most parents today cannot expect their children to be as they themselves were 2-3 decades ago, mentally prepared to abide by tradition & transform themselves into wat might be entirely different personalities after marriage vs b4 marriage......esp. if its the case of arranged marriages, where the girl/boy r most likely not each other's but their parents' choices.......
And i notice tat majority of the post '80s youth (inc. girls) r simply not ready to metamorphise into the more sober roles of spouses (& subsequently parents) solely on their parents' wishes......this has unftly, in sum cases, resulted in broken or disloyal marriages.....!
I don't intend to offend neone here nor am I one of those who revolt against our culture/traditions, but I just want to say tat its incorrect to apply the same technique in general for a generation tat seems poles apart from its predecessors from not too long ago!
-I've changed my ID now!!-
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11th September 2005, 02:59 PM
#5
Senior Member
Seasoned Hubber
Re: Ideal age to get married
[quote][quote="lordstanher
And i notice tat majority of the post '80s youth (inc. girls) r simply not ready to metamorphise into the more sober roles of spouses (& subsequently parents) solely on their parents' wishes......this has unftly, in sum cases, resulted in broken or disloyal marriages.....![/quote]
Lordie.... What you mentioned is true to some extent.... I have also come across such instances personally ... on broken relationships...
I don't intend to offend neone here nor am I one of those who revolt against our culture/traditions, but I just want to say tat its incorrect to apply the same technique
in general for a generation tat seems poles apart from its predecessors from not too long ago!
Equally true....
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11th September 2005, 03:08 PM
#6
Senior Member
Seasoned Hubber
Lets analyse from a woman's perspective ... of today......
9 out 10 women are very well educated.. and some get professionally qualified as well ( I am in no way trying to degrade or bring disrepute to women of previous generation ).. They also get nice jobs... ( probably in software oranisations ?? )...and are self sustaining..
I have seen the parents of previous generation very keen to get their daughter married once she completes her college or maximum by 22 or 23 years.... as the pressure is being felt by the parents...
Also a family with more than 1 or 2 daughters... there was additional pressure for the first daughter to get married ....
But... I am not seeing those situations today.... I mean .. the middle class....Parents give full freedom to their daughters and invest equally for their higher education...make them well qualified ... and also ultimately make their self sustaining....
This gives an opportunity also to the daughters to get a decent saving to prepare for their wedding or for other higher education...
In the process... I am also seeing the average of women getting engaged has moved upwards... from 20-22 years to 26-28 years.....
Those 4 years between 22 and 26 enable the women to save some decent money for their wedding... Its a welcome change....
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12th September 2005, 08:21 AM
#7
Moderator
Veteran Hubber
While social and individual preferences are all fine, one must also consider biological imperatives in this whole issue.
Men and women are in their prime only between 15-30. That is the best reproductive period. Children born to parents in this age group have been found to be healthy, with comparitively less genetic defects.
In men, after the age of 35, sperms start to mutate. Similarly, in women, after around 40, the eggs start losing viability. In fact, genetic disorders such as Down's Syndrome are especially common among children born to mothers in their middle age. Also, the travails of pregnancy and child birth are better borne when the women are stronger and endued with more vitality than after they are older. A lot of changes begin to take place which might even cause for painful deliveries due to hardening of pelvic muscles.
In keeping with this fundamental thought, it is infinitly better for people to get married and have children before the age of 35. I would say 28 for men, and 25 for women, and as far as possible, not later than that for marriage. That would give them space and time to adjust to each other, make plans etc and have their first child at least when the man is 31-32 and women is 27-28.
True, socio-economic factors do play a major role, but ultimately, one must not forget the biological reason behind the whole thing - the propogation of the species, the giving birth to and rearing of biologically healthy and viable individuals.
When we stop labouring under the delusion of our cosmic self-importance, we are free of hindrance, fear, worry and attachment. We are liberated!!!
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12th September 2005, 11:24 AM
#8
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
Originally Posted by
dev
I don't think there can be something called an ideal age for marriage...I believe that it depends on the maturity of the person & a lot on their own lifestyle... & one has to be mentally prepared for marriage coz it is a lifestyle change... It is a combination of many factors like these... the above r the few I consider to be on the top of the list...
well said, fully agreed
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13th September 2005, 09:13 PM
#9
Senior Member
Seasoned Hubber
Originally Posted by
sbadri99
True, socio-economic factors do play a major role, but ultimately, one must not forget the biological reason behind the whole thing - the propogation of the species, the giving birth to and rearing of biologically healthy and viable individuals.
Absolutely true.... Probably this could be the reason for our ancestors for having set such a precedent ?? Of early marriage ??
I have also heard the worst scenario... My Periamma got married at the age of 14 and by 20 years she was already a mother of 4 children !
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14th September 2005, 07:21 AM
#10
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
And none the worse for it! My perimmas who married even earlier lived in good health for upto ripe old age!
Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.
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